NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Monday, August 29, 2011

America's Newest Threat ...

SIDEWALK RAGE!





The article on "sidewalk rage" in the Wall Street Journal


Seriously, the Wall Street Journal is great if you want business news or stock updates or whatever else it is that upper class white people are interested about, but when it comes to normal news for normal people, the WSJ has it's rich heads up its rich asses.


Seriously.


I am suffering from sidewalk rage.


Sunday, August 28, 2011

Random Cell Phone Pictures ...

It is the first day of school for my girls tomorrow, plus we are about two and a half weeks until super go baby time, so no movie today. Sorry. My apologies.


Originally I was going to show Vanilla Ice's masterpiece "Cool As Ice" but that would require effort and I cannot see myself putting forth an effort for a freaking Vanilla Ice film.


Instead, feel free to rock out to these random pictures from my cell phone.


Also, thanks to a generous upcoming donation from the firm of Mom and Dad Inc, we SHOULD be able to fix our computer in about two weeks. So look forward to more posts in the upcoming future. For now, though, I'm stuck occasionally posting random stuff whenever I can. Sorry.


Enjoy the pictures, though.














I've been cutting again.


More on that later.


Wind Clan out.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Bunker Thoughts ...

This is Steve, once again blogging from my remote bunker hidden twenty miles below the surface of the earth.

You have probably assumed by now that I am not in fact in a bunker, nor do I own one. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it. So there.

We are roughly three weeks away from our due date with little Maxwell Galindo, the future heir to the house of Galindo, long may he reign, and we are all very nervous and excited. My wife is a little less excited as I am in the sense that she is huge and tired and in constant pain and just wants that freeloading bastard out of her this instant.

So I am on constant alert for the possibility of this monster arriving early. Any day now, I figure. So I am eternally remaining in a state of cat-like readiness, waiting for that call at any moment.

Like I'm not paranoid enough, now I'm battle ready for super go baby time. Great.

I cut myself the other day. On the wrist. I instantly regretted it once I did it. Now instead of hoping someone notices and offers sympathy I am hiding it and hoping no one notices what a dumbass I am.

I miss having a computer.

Wind Clan out.

Monday, August 22, 2011

My Random Facebook Thoughts ...

-When a baby is born in this hospital they play a lullaby thru the intercom. When a baby dies? Metallica's "One" in its entirety.


-You know what would be sad? If Osama Bin Laden came back to life and killed Jaycee Duggard with a cute little puppy. In front of deaf orphans. Now that would be SUPER sad!


-Reading "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline has taught me that in the future your knowledge of Monty Python might aid in saving existence.


-I wonder when Dumbledore's gonna finally make an honest man outta Gandalf?


-I'm watching Troll 2 with the family right now. It's important for my kids to see the classics.


-Just got to introduce my daughters to the song "Big Balls" by AC/DC. I think they're still disturbed.


-FACT: My wife's phone is ALWAYS on low battery.


-Great! Now I have to explain to my daughters what an underage trailer park whore is! Thanks, neighborhood!


-BELA: "Can homeless people talk? Because why do they all have signs?"


-Disney's Tangled is now on the Netflix instant que. So is Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive. Both great family movies.


-When I get all the a/c vents in the car pointing towards me I feel like King Super Pimp.


-When is science going to invent a HOT snow? Regular snow is just too darn cold!


-Amy Winehouse dying is sad news to all the cracked out, british fuglies out there. It's not that I cant believe she died but that I cant believe that she lived this long.


-You try to break into my house and my guard duck will kick your butt!


-Nothing funnier than watching white people try and dance at a wedding.


-Word from the business front is that Borders bookstore went out of business solely because of my portrail of the evil and sinister Dr. Borderz at story time.


-STEVE GEE: FEEL THE MEXCELLENCE!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from wikipedia and 1000misspenthours.com ...


"Zontar, the Thing from Venus, also known as Zontar: The Invader from Venus, is a 1966 made for television science fiction film directed by Larry Buchanan, the director of such hideous schlock films as Curse of the Swamp Creatures and The Eye Creature. The film is based on the teleplay by Hillman Taylor and Buchanan and is a remake of Roger Corman's semi-crap classic It Conquered the World (1956) which also featured an alien from Venus.


Zontar, the Thing from Venus is Larry Buchanan’s take on It Conquered the World, and its plot is literally exactly the same as the Corman picture’s. Rocket scientist Curt Taylor (John Agar, from Women of the Prehistoric Planet and Revenge of the Creature) is overseeing the launch of his lab’s new laser communications satellite when he receives an unexpected visit from a friend and colleague, Dr. Keith Ritchie (Tony Huston, of Mars Needs Women and The Eye Creatures). Ritchie has a reputation as a crackpot genius, for despite his vast engineering prowess, he is loath to see any of his projects get off the ground; he believes the inhabitants of the other planets have instituted a quarantine of the Earth, and can be counted upon to destroy any man-made object that reaches beyond the atmosphere. Apparently this laser satellite is something extra-special, too, for Ritchie contends that its successful launch will leave the extraterrestrial coalition no choice but to invade and, potentially, to destroy us. Nobody listens, though, and the launch proceeds as scheduled.


Zontar, the Thing from Venus is a dreadful movie, okay? And truth be told, It Conquered the World isn’t much better. But the funny thing about Zontar is that, alone among the Buchanan retreads that I’ve seen, it has just enough of the right things going for it not only to make one pay very close attention to it, but to make one inclined to reexamine and reevaluate its model as well.


All in all, not that bad. It coulda been worse."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Popcorn

Baby Carrots

Random Chocolate

Giraffe-Shaped Cupcakes


... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE!


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be Jayce Duggard-ed with extreme prejudice. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).



The (Sick) Baby Shower ...

Dizziness, stomach cramps, and hurling didn't stop me from attending my wife's cute little baby shower.


Here are some pics ...















Friday, August 19, 2011

Various Random Whatnots ...

-I am actually home alone right now. My two girls are shopping with my wife and mother-in-law. I'm not exactly sure how I managed to get left home alone, and with the computer no doubt, but with the place to myself and memories of the fair still fresh on my mind I decided to watch one of my favorite horror movies...




... Tobe Hooper's classic 1981 horror film The Funhouse. Four teens dare each other to spend the night in an old spookhouse ride at a carnival and end up getting stalked and killed by a deranged family. Classic movie. Still manages to freak me out. Not really scare me but just freak my shit out. Unfortunately, since the whole gang will eventually be back, who knows how long I have to watch this film. I'm betting I don't last until the first dead body shows up, but we'll see.


-In other news, the West Memphis 3 are free as of today, finally found innocent of the crime they were thrown in jail for almost twenty years ago. My heart is filled with joy over this news. I saw the documentary Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills while staying in Tucson for a summer job in 1996. It moved me back then and from that point on I hoped that one day the three young teens, who seemed to have been thrown in jail only because they had long hair and listened to Metallica, would be set free. Today is that day and I am overjoyed as a result.




-I draw a good giraffe. Just so you know.


-So I just got to the first death in the movie, the gypsy fortune teller strangled to death by the Frankenstein-masked freak after a quickie handjob a little over halfway thru the film. Good for me that I made it this far without a wife and kids to interrupt it.




-Speaking of this amazing movie I'm watching, did you know that a novelization of the screenplay was written by Dean Koontz under the pseudonym Owen West? Yeah! I've always known that Stephen King-wannabe Koontz wrote a book called The Funhouse but I never put two and two together and realized that the book by the hack and the old film by the master of horror are in fact one and the same. According to the almighty wikipedia, as the film production took longer than expected, the book was actually released before the film. Wow. Neat. I may have to read one of his damn books now.


-Jaycee Duggard was kidnapped and raped and treated as a sex slave for over 11 whole years, but TO ME the REAL torture was that for fun and to pass the time she was forced to read whatever books were lying around, mostly Dean Koontz books. I mean, sure she was kidnapped at age 11 and raped repeatedly, but I would take THAT over having to read nothing but Dean Koontz crap!




-And speaking of books, I am rampaging through an absolutely AMAZING book right now! It's called "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline and it is absolutely wonderful. It's a nerd's dream come true Equal parts Roald Dahl and retro future, I can't fully describe it without doing the novel an improper amount of justice. But if you are a person who like me was raised by pop culture then you will instantly inhale this book and wished you lived inside its pages! I have been reading it for a little over two days and I am already at page 235 with only about 130 pages left. I don't know if I have EVER read a book this fast in my life! I just do not ever want to leave this amazing virtual world. I wish the future was now so that its vision could come true!


-In the book, Wil Wheaton is the vice-president of the virtual future! YES! He absolutely has my vote!




-I just made it to the second death. The nerdy guy. He shouldn't have stolen the money, the dumbass. And now the blonde chick has disappeared thru the trapdoor. Man! I am booking it thru the deaths just like I'm booking it thru this book! Now I have only 24 minutes left in the film, but I still doubt I'll be allowed to make it thru the entire film.


-Also, anyone looking for a fun and well-written young adult mystery should buy the new book "The Wizard of Dark Street" by Shawn Thomas Oddysey. I read it in six days, then had the pleasure of hosting a book signing for the author, an amazing man who performed magic, read from his novel, and sang two pretty darn good songs, too! It's a fun read and everyone, young and old alike, should give it a shot...


The Wizard of Dark Street.com




-Just finished the movie! YEAAAAAAAHHH! Who's the man? I am! I finished watching the whole movie, then I immediately started watching the awesome-o-rama documentary American Grindhouse. It's a pretty amazing film and the link I just put up allows you to see the whole thing on hulu. FYI. Anyway, about fifteen minutes after I started watching it my family came back. But, surprisingly enough, they came back, dropped stuff off, and then left yet again. So I'm good to go once more. Yay!


To celebrate, here's some free music for your punk ass ...


The Ventures: Walk Don't Run

Panic At The Disco: The Only Difference Between Suicide And Martyrdom Is Press Coverage

Dead Elvi: The Creature Stole My Surfboard

Jim's Big Ego: Cut Off Your Head

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week: The Return ...


I still don't have a computer, but that isn't going to stop me THIS week from showing off an awesome free movie!


Enjoy ...





Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia god ...


"The Bat is a 1959 mystery film directed by Crane Wilbur, and starring Vincent Price and Agnes Moorehead. Its tagline was 'When it flies, someone dies!' The film was based on the 1920 Broadway play by Avery Hopwood and a gothic novel by Mary Roberts Rinehart, which was previously filmed as The Bat (1926) and as The Bat Whispers (1930), both directed by Roland West.


The 1959 version also features Darla Hood of The Little Rascals in her final film appearance. The eerie title theme of Louis Forbes' final film score was played by Alvino Rey.




This haunted house mystery movie casts Agnes Moorehead as a mystery writer who has just moved into a spooky old mansion. It's former owner was recently killed, but not before hiding one million ill-gotten dollars somewhere in the house. Now, a nefarious killer known only as the "Bat" is trying to find the money, while bodies and mysteries build up."




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Chips

Popcorn

Strawberries

Random Chocolate Pieces


... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! Please, though, a few rules first. There's absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and talkers WILL be spat upon. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I am so super serious about that last one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Oh, and remember ...




Enjoy the show y'all!




This probably won't be an every sunday thing for a few more weeks still. But I'm incredibly excited to finally showcase a new movie here.


Laters.

The Last Of The 2011 State Fair Photos ...














Saturday, August 13, 2011

Boycotting Angry Birds ...

I think that the game Angry Birds and Angry Birds Seasons and Angry Birds Rio and all the shirts and hats and games and everything, all that is doing is sending out negative energy that cannot be good to our society or our planet.


That is why I am currently working on a game that is sure to delight white people everywhere! It's called Passive Birds. In it, there are massive structures and birds that stand beside the structures and marvel at the fabulous architectural skill it must have taken to create such a building.


Then you jump in your Prius and drive to your nearest food co-op to purchase a light vegan lunch.


That's the end of the game.


New bajillionare: Steve Galindo!

Friday, August 12, 2011

The Old Steve ...

Hi. It's me again.


Still no computer but I don't think I have to say that at this point because you probably already know that.




So you know how my life has been pretty darn good lately? Well, there was just a little something that I wanted to mention.


Today an old friend of mine said to me "It's good to see you happy again. Your personal life seems to be better and you're happy and funny again. You have that energy you used to have. It's like the old Steve is back."


That's awesome.


The old Steve is back!


Yay!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Kids And Exhaustion ...



I am exhausted.


I have been working exceptionally hard lately.


Sigh, I would like to take this time to once again say that my views and opinions are in no way related to those of any major bookstore chain of any kind.


Anyway, I have been working exceptionally hard at my job lately. There are a lot of changes happening and I am the primary one in charge of changing shelving units and measuring and shifting things around and heavy lifting. My arms and shoulders are killing me and I am wanting to sleep during most of my time at home, which isn't that fair to my kids who want to spend time with me.


I've been wanting to cut myself a lot lately but so far I haven't.


Yay me.




My family is good, though. The house is getting cleaner and cleaner and my kids are getting prettier and prettier and my amazing and gradually bustier wife is getting pregnantier and pregnantier. It's a win-win situation and I can't believe that soon we're going to have a crazy boy in this crazy house.


Anyway, getting late. Gotta hit the hay. Another big, long day tomorrow of me kicking whole buckets of ass.


Wind Clan out.

Monday, August 8, 2011

About Our Trip ...



So this weekend we were supposed to go to Santa Cruz for the weekend to go to a wedding, to go to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk (where they filmed Lost Boys), to swim in the ocean and, this is the part that I was the most excited about, we were going to go to the legendary Santa Cruz Mystery Spot, where all laws of nature are reversed.


Overall, things didn't go quite as planned.


For starters, the wedding was not for a relative as I had assumed but for my wife's friend whom she met on open diary. There were such a massive amount of white yuppies that you could smell the botox. I was the only non-white person there except for a few older relatives. Plus, since we weren't excactly close family, at dinner we were seated in the farthest corner with some strange sped guy who smelled funny and just could not stop talking to me.


Open bar. I didn't drink, though.




The next day we were going to go back to Santa Cruz and spend the day there. But see, we couldn't find a cheap enough place in Santa Cruz so we stayed at a fairly okay hotel in Sunnyvale about an hour away. The drive from one location to another, especially during a busy weekend, was hell and one my wife absolutely did not want to have to do again. So we didn't go back.


No boardwalk and no swimming in the ocean. That hurt a bit. So, we all hit up the hotel's spa instead.




It really hurt that we couldn't go to the Santa Cruz Mystery Spot. I was really looking forward to going there with my girls.In fact, the only reason why I wanted to go to the wedding in the first place was so that I could spend time in Santa Cruz with my family and that was just taken away from me.


So that just sucked.


So we found a place called Sky High Jump where there are basically just a few hundred trampolines on the floors and the walls and stuff. It sounded amazing and I really wanted to do it with the girls, but apparently we didn't have the money, so it was just the girls jumping and me taking pictures.


Sigh.


But my girls had fun.











Then we drove back home, went to Dairy Queen, and got Blizzards which, in my opinion, made up for everything else.


THAT is how good fucking Blizzards are.




Right now I'm on the couch watching The Avengers cartoon, which is absolutely awesome by the way, with my daughters. My wife is out running errands with her mom, who will be living with us until October or so. I am on her computer.


I have been asking nicely to get on her computer since friday. It's now monday and I am finally on it.


Something tells me she doesn't want me on her computer. That is why I am holding off on the missions of things I want to blog about right now. I don't want to be on here for too long.


Hopefully I will be able to blog more soon.


Wind Clan out.