NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Just A Recap ...

Things are fine, if a bit slow, here in Oklahoma. We are slowly starting to settle into our new home.

Rent is tight, though. We have rent, my car payment, our insurance, and so times are tight. I wish they weren't because I have a miiiiighty need to watch Django and The Hobbit and Hitchcock. Oh well...

Still no wifi, though.

Lame, I know.

Once we get wifi I promise I will return this blog to its normal routine if showing free bad movies and big ol' titties.

That is all.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Decorating The Trees ...

We have two trees this year, two fake tress standing side by side like the twin towers.

So when my 11-year-old daughter made me a paper airplane to throw into the trees, I smiled.

Here are the pics ...

Thursday, December 13, 2012

My Two Adorable Daughters ...

They look AMAZING!

(just like their daddy)

And on a random note I would just like to say that my town here in Oklahoma is so damn small that it's like living in the show Gilmore Girls. Every time we attend a Sorghum Festival or a Tree Lighting Ice Cream Social Whatever I expect to see Sookie and the token asian family.

But gas here is only $2.87.

Suck it, west coast!

Recent Galindo Family Videos ...

The Galindo Family Band:

The Root Beer Show, episode 7:

The Macy's Parade Problem:

Good stuff.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Midwest Problems ...

Here are two pictures that I took on my drive to work recently. I think that they perfectly represent my new life in the midwest and typical midwest problems.

One is a picture of the most abbreviated sign ever made ...

The other is a typical midwest problem: cows on the road ...

I am definitely far from Sacramento.

Man... Fuck Oklahoma.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

The Blank-Blanking ...

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a loooooong time.

But I also respect my wife's need for privacy.

So I will simply say that last night I blanked her blanks and it was AMAAAAAZING!!!

That is all.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Recent Random Pictures ...

Here are a few pictures from my phone, a few of my kids and a few pictures of the amazing Oklahoma scenery.

Also, my kids are damn amazing!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

My Brush With Death ...

My fifteen month old son is very sick today. Bad runs. On and off fever. He is an extremely cranky little boy.

The thing is, my wife has another one of her professional baking and cake decorating classes today, and she also has to be there super early today because her mom had a big ass doctors appointment beforehand. And this is all about an hour away, too.

So my wife is gone. She's gone almost all day, too. Left at around 11am this afternoon and wont be back until around 9pm tonight. So I have to take care of my sick son, feed him bottles, clean up around the house, pick my other kids up after school, help them with homework, make them dinner. And everything else.

And I have to do all of this without any cable television or wifi or computer, too.

I wouldn't be nervous if Maxwell wasn't so sick, you know?

So I'm home alone with Maxwell right now. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and we have no cable, so I'm showing him an old dvd of classic Mickey Mouse cartoons from the forties. I don't think he fully "gets" it. I don't think he realizes that this Mickey is the same Mickey that he knows. Still, he's having fun.

Now on to my story ...

A few nights ago, at around 11:20pm, I was driving down a dark and nearly deserted state highway here in Oklahoma.  I was about fifteen minutes away from the nearest town and I was driving up a rather steep hill when I noticedsomething that something was wrong.

The headlights coming towards me seemed to be a bit into my lane.

Turns out I was wrong.

They were IN my lane and coming right at me.

I tried to go into the opposite lane to avoid the oncoming car but the car seemed to begin to swerve back. So I stayed in my lane. And then so did the car coming towards me at a rapid pace.

And remember that I was climbing a steep hill. There was barely any room to swerve to my right without falling to my death down a sharp hill.

But the alternative was a head-on collision with a large speeding pick up truck.

So I swerved to my right as much as I possibly could without rolling down the hill. At the last second, too.

A drunked stranger tried to play chicken with me and I almost died.

Thank god I wasn't zoned out or not paying attention or something like that because I seriously almost died.

And I have no idea why, too. Was he drunk? Was he on his phone or something and not paying attention?  Did the dark and winding state highways confuse him? Was he some twisted redneck purposefully fucking with me? Why? Why did some stranger almost kill me? If I wasn't almost out of gas I absolutely would have chased that bastard down and found out with my fists why I almost died. But I was broke and near empty, left on the side of the road right next to a sharp dropoff, left wondering why the fuck I almost fucking died.

Needless to say I absolutely am NOT looking forward to getting in the car later today, let alone working late tomorrow night and driving home down that dark state highway again.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

My Depression ...

It was like a light bulb went off in my brain. I was having am amazing day with my wife yesterday and then suddenly: BAM! I was engulfed in the deepest depression ever!

Now I have the weekend off and U feel so stupid and unloved and worthless that I just don't have the energy to do anything at all.

I feel so stupid. I do everything wrong and nobody cares.

Sorry.

Monday, November 26, 2012

This Is Me ...

My name is Steve.

Sometimes I go by Mr. Steve when I'm a storyteller.  Sometimes I go by Reverend Steve when I'm preaching the word of Ed Wood.

Either way, I'm Steve.

I'm 35 years old. I have three kids and a frustrated but sexy wife. I am now living in Oklahoma for reasons that have not yet manifested themselves.  But it's nice and quiet and .. different. I like that.

I work in a bookstore that is a 55 minute drive away from my house. But I don't mind because it is the most AMAZING drive you've ever been in. Its fields and hills and forests and cows. It's roadkill and wild deer and long stretches of nothing that is so beautiful that I find myself thankful to be alive.

I am bipolar.

But it is NOT one of those angry crazy bipolar cases where I lose my temper and cops are called. It's a nice, quiet type of bipolar disorder that tries not to get in anyones way.

Sometimes I get deeply depressed. Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes I want to die.

Sometimes I cut myself. Long, nasty cuts on my hands and wrists and arms with boxcutters I find at work. I am trying to stop but the cutting makes me feel good, makes me feel alive.

I love my wife. She laughs at my jokes (usually) and treats me nice and her breasts are huuuge. Last night we stayed up dtinking and playing Beatles Rockband. It was awesome.

This is me.

Hi.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Hello From Hell ...

So I have a house now.

It may have no wifi and no internet and no Netflix and no cable and no tv stations and no microwave and a serious bug problem, but it is OUR problem in OUR house and thank WOOD for that!

Yes! I am finally out of my in-law's house! I am finally out of a house where my violent, alcoholic brother-in-law sleeps on the floor in front of the tv until noon or one pm and then IMMEDIATELY starts drinking. A huuuuge alcoholic. No job. No life. A complete discrace to himself and his daughter. He needs help. He needs to get his life straightened up. But he is allowed to ruin his life and run the house and yell at everyone and drink and drive with NO reprocussions. None at all. He is never told off and when he is it doesn't take, he doesn't listen, he doesn't care and he continues being an a-hole... whereas I will have my ass literally handed to me if I put a cup on the wrong shelf or eat a bag of popcorn that I shouldn't have but wasn't told about. The real villain gets away scott free while the nice guy, me, constantlt gets yelled at and bitched at and just gets so much crap. It's unfair. It'd all just pointless bullshit and, thankfully, it is NO LONGER my problem!

Hells yes!

Anyway, you may have noticed that the pictures in my last post are all crooked and loopsy. That is because I am trying my darndest to be able to post on my blog from my phone but these apps can suck it and die. They either don't work or they post stuff wrong like the crooked pictures you see below. I am currently posting from a nook tablet at my in-law's place if you are wondering.

I apologize for the pictures.

I swear things will return to normal soon.

I hope.

Friday, November 9, 2012

My Okie Halloween 2012 ...

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.9

Our New Place ...

We have a place! To live! That's not my in-laws house!

SO MUCH WIN!!!

I swear, our first night in this house I stripped down to my tighty whities and drank a beer in the middle of the living room JUST BECAUSE I COULD!!!

There's still a lot of work to be done.

Still, I am so proud!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Dark Times Ahead, Harry ...

After about a year of fighting with Electronic Fry's our computer is FINALLY ready.

Now we just have to send back their rental laptop and get a friend in Sacramento to pick up our laptop and send it to us.

So no computer for a while for me.

(sigh)

I will still be able to post, probably. Just nothing too detailed. And almost definitely no Sunday CHurch-less Movies of the Week.

So here are two full episodes of Cinema Insomnia to tide you over for a while. And you're welcome.

Enjoy ...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

This Blog Features More Rock Of Ages Content Than Anyone Would Ever Want Out Of Such A Horrible Ass Movie ...

I am alone at my friend and sister-in-law Lauren's house. Maxwell is here with me but he's still knocked out in a extra long super nap. Halloween was a lot for him. I can hear his little baby snores. Cute as hell.

SO my wife and Lauren are out running some errands and getting food. Sonic. When we first moves here I was told that Sonic restaurants actually originated in Oklahoma, which is why there are ten bajillion Sonics here. I was told I would get sick of Sonic. But whoever said that didn't know that I could eat the same thing every day for a million years if its yummy. I love it. Sonic rocks.

Anyway ...

You see that huge rack? Amazing!

I rented Rock of Ages a few days ago.

My wife flat out REFUSES to watch it with me!

I mean, yes its a bad movie. Yes it's horrible. Yes every scene in this film is an embarrassment to watch. But it's my favorite bad movie and I love hating-slash-loving this amazingly awful movie.

And my wife won't let me watch it with her.

Bitch!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

About My Private Diaries ...

So I've been working on something.


See, when I'm not glued to the internets I spend a lot of my time writing. And I've written a LOTTTT! I have been writing in these private journals of mine for over a decade now. And in those books I think I have a rather interesting tale of love, heartbreak, violence, and one young man's journey from drunken, suicidal party guy to father of three.


I have decided to make these books public.


I'm doing that on my OTHER blog.


You should see it. I think it's worth a read.


The Private Diaries Of Steve Galindo

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The (Halloween) Week: Part Two ...

I just finished seeing the original 1933 Universal horror film "The Invisible Man." I had never seen it before and it was absolutely amazing!


I was especially happy to see Una O'Connor in the film. I knew her as the crazy screeching old woman in Bride of Frankenstein. And now here she was as the crazy screeching old woman in Invisible Man. Nerd yay!


So here is Bride of Frankenstein for free for your All Hallow's Eve!


Enjoy ...




Yoinked from wikipedia and my own movie knowledge as well as a previous post of my own ...


"Bride of Frankenstein is a 1935 American horror film, the first sequel to Frankenstein (1931). Bride of Frankenstein was directed by James Whale and stars Boris Karloff as The Monster, Elsa Lanchester in the dual role of his mate and Mary Shelley, Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein and Ernest Thesiger as Doctor Pretorius.




The film follows on immediately from the events of the earlier film, and is rooted in a subplot of the original Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein (1818). In the film, a chastened Henry Frankenstein abandons his plans to create life, only to be tempted and finally coerced by the Monster, encouraged by Henry's old mentor Dr. Pretorius, into constructing a mate for him. As originally filmed, Henry and Elizabeth died fleeing the exploding castle. Whale re-shot the ending to allow for their survival, although Clive and Hobson are still visible on-screen in the collapsing laboratory. Whale completed his final cut, shortening the running time from about 90 minutes to 75 and re-shooting and re-editing the ending, only days before the film's scheduled premiere date.


Preparation began shortly after the first film premiered, but script problems delayed the project. Principal photography started in January 1935, with creative personnel from the original returning in front of and behind the camera. Bride of Frankenstein was released to critical and popular acclaim, although it encountered difficulties with some state and national censorship boards. Since its release the film's reputation has grown, and it is hailed as Whale's masterpiece.


Modern film scholars, noting Whale's homosexuality and that of others involved in the production, have found a gay sensibility in the film, although a number of Whale's associates have dismissed the idea. Gay film historian Vito Russo, in considering Pretorius, stops short of identifying the character as gay, instead referring to him as 'sissified' (sissy itself being Hollywood code for homosexual). Pretorius serves as a 'gay Mephistopheles', a figure of seduction and temptation, going so far as to pull Frankenstein away from his bride on their wedding night to engage in the unnatural act of creating non-procreative life. A novelization of the film published in England made the implication clear, having Pretorius say to Frankenstein 'Be fruitful and multiply.' Let us obey the Biblical injunction: you of course, have the choice of natural means; but as for me, I am afraid that there is no course open to me but the scientific way.'




A scene stealer in the film, Una O'Connor (October 23, 1880 – February 4, 1959) was an Irish actress who worked extensively in theater before becoming a notable character actress in film. A favorite of the director James Whale, among O'Connor's most successful and best remembered roles are her comic performances in Whale's The Invisible Man (1933) as the publican's wife and in Bride of Frankenstein (1935) as the Baron's housekeeper. She's awesome. But she played 'straight' roles too, such as the grieving mother of a captured IRA member in The Informer (1935) and appearing in Alfred Hitchcock's Murder! (1930)."