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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia god and my own bad movie knowledge ...


"Attack of the Crab Monsters is a 1957 American black-and-white science fiction film, written by Charles B. Griffith and produced and directed by Roger Corman via Los Altos Productions, on contract for distribution by Allied Artists Pictures Corporation. The plot follows a scientific expedition trapped on a remote island inhabited by atomically mutated giant crabs. It was distributed as the main feature on a programmed double bill with Not of This Earth.




In the film, a group of scientists land on a remote island in the Pacific to search for a previous expedition that disappeared and to continue research about the effects of radiation from the Bikini Atoll nuclear tests on the island's plant and sea life. They learn to their horror that the earlier group of scientists have been eaten by mutated giant crabs that have gained intelligence by absorbing the minds of their victims. Members of the current expedition are systematically attacked and killed by the crabs, which are invulnerable to most weaponry because of the mutation in their cell structure.

Also the crabs look stupid. I mean, it looks REEEEEALLY fucking stupid. The monsters look like bad, old, dusty Rose Parade floats but with semi-human faces, like a bad, racist caricature of an asian man during WWII, you know? Personally, I always though Rodger Corman was a hack. But somehow he's a hack that's still alive and so that's why suddenly everyone cares. Whatever. Just watch the movie. It's laughably good."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

More Coffee

Cheesy Poofs

Cold Water

Crack

Even More Coffee

Various Internet Porns


... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE! Yay! This blog kicks ass!


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be Penn State Locker Room Shower-ed with extreme prejudice. Also, absolutely no cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING! Seriously!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Roger Corman is the man!

Ed Wood, Roger Corman, and William Castle are the holy trinity...

Reverend Steve said...

I agree, but I'm jealous because Ialways thought that Roger Corman was in Apollo 13 and he got an honorary Oscar and it seems like everybody loves him now, but Ed Wood is still seen as just "the worst." Ed deserves the credit that Corman gets.