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Monday, June 11, 2012

In Arizona ...

I am in a litte parlor room of my parents' two story massive house in Queen Creek, Arizona. My father is sitting near me showing me pictures, very old pictures, some faded around the edges. I looked so stupid bacck then. I guess I do now but the difference is that I have confidence. It's just that who I am hates who I've been.

My older brother Joe is playing the guitar next to me. He's always been amazing with a guitar. He's one of those people who can hear something once and instantly start playing it. I was always envious of his guitar skills. But he got my dad's skilled fingers and I got my mom's skeletal clumsy fingers. And her asthma. So yay me.

I fucked up, though, getting here. I hated myself, but I'm past all those negative feelings. See, my father gave me an itinerary that specifically stated that I leave today, monday. So I was stupid and didn't look at the tickets which said sunday. So I missed my train. Fuck me. But, thanks to my darling wife an my youngest son Maxwell's semi-patience, I was able to make my flight to Arizona.

I hated myself for missing my train. Felt like a damn idiot. But now I'm just happy to be here.

I don't know what my brother and I are going to be doing today. Maybe go visit my old stomping grounds. Maybe go play pinball at Castles n' Coasters. Maybe go see a movie. I don't know. And I don't care.

The important thing is that we're here. Together.

Damn.

I just know that I am going to get so-o-o-o-o wasted tonight.

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