NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, July 6, 2012

My Maxwell Mornings ...

My wife Natasha doesn't really wake up too early. Well, actually she doesn't really wake up early at ALL anymore. She's been staying up late a lot. It's Netflix's fault, really. So that means that I am usually the one who has to wake up in the early morning time with young baby Maxwell.

But I'm not angry about waking up early all the time. In fact, I love it.

Do you want to know why?

Maxwell Edward, the smart little boy he is, wakes up crazy early every morning. He looks at his slumbering mother, maybe drinks a bit of boobie if its out, then climbs OVER her to get to me, the man Maxwell KNOWS will wake up with him. I wake up almost every morning to a laughing, smiling baby that can't wait for me to wake up so that I can play and laugh and spend time with him. It's the absolute cutest way anyone has ever woken up and I look forward to it every night going to sleep.

In fact, after waking up, the rest of the day is downhill.

Originally the first paragraph on this post was only two sentences long, two small ones at that. See, my former background on print journalism has taught me well for the real world. My padding skills are truly awesome. See, this paragraph was originally going to just be one sentence. Now look at it! It's almost as long as the first damn paragraph. Oh, now it's even longer.

Wow. I am amazing.

I have a small to-do list today. It includes getting a haircut and going to see the new Spider-Man movie. Yeah, about my hair ... I was trying to grow out my hair for a while, but this crap is just flying all over the place in this non-stop Oklahoma wind and it's driving me insane. Sorry hair. Everybody out.

Another thing on my to-do list today is to "write a personal post on my blog." Well, that's not exactly turning out how I wanted it to turn out. But hey, this is funny, right? And vaguely personal, that stuff about my wife not waking up. See, I'm trying to balance this blog out. I want to please everyone, so I post free songs and free movies and big titties and funny pictures and stuff, but I also want this to be very personal as well. After all, this is MY blog. I want it to be about me, not about what everyone else wants. If I made this a blog about what people wanted, then I would just do big titties and half naked chicks all the time ...

So I'm trying to balance this page out. Something for you (the past titties and music post) and something for me (this long ass rambling page o' fun).

This is called co-operation, boys and girls. See how this works?

Fun.

No comments: