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Thursday, August 30, 2012

"A 95% True Story" - A Short Play By Steve Galindo ...

Interior: Bookstore. A very HANDSOME LATINO MAN is standing behind a register waiting for customers to help. The phone next to him rings and he quickly answers it.

HANDSOME: This is STEVE, how can I help you?
CALLER: Yeah, uhh, I ordered a book a while ugo an' I wuz wunderin' if it'd come in yet. The name is Klopfenstein.

The old and uneducated man on the phone QUICKLY speeds through his highly complicated last name as if it is a household name, not once offering to spell the monstrous thing. Silence follows.

HANDSOME: Uhh ... I'm sorry, what was that last name again?
CALLER: Klopfenstein.

Again, the man DOES NOT offer to spell his last name, as if it is as common as SMITH or JONES or something like that. More silence follows.

HANDSOME: 'kaaaay, um ... how do you spell that, sir?
CALLER: It's Klopfenstein. With a 'K'.

NOTE: He does NOT spell the name there. Just then, suddenly and without warning, hundreds of GAY NINJAS appear from the sky and pillage the entire store, very violently and homosexually. There are no survivors.

THE END

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