NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Live Tweets From Church ...

I go to church to support my wife and her burgeoning faith in organized religion.

I also think that organized religion is a bunch of bullshit.

So I have started doing live offensive tweets while INSIDE church every sunday!

It's fucking awesome.

Here is last sunday:

ReverendSteve ‏@ReverendSteve

Live and vaguely offenive tweets from #church in about a half hour. HELL YEAH!

Gettin' my motherfukin' #CHURCH on!

Choir leader Dolores Umbridge at #church ..

Pretty sure the pastor just called #God "omnippletent"

I hate it when white folks give mohawk cuts to their kids.

Speaking in tongues? Really?

I'm bored. Are you there, God? I demand some coffee!

Pastor is angry today. He's probably constipated. #churh #ibs

Pastor just asked us to give to the church "liberly". How the hell do I do that?

I am a lone brown spot in a sea of white rednecks right now.

If a #christian has something bad happen, even if its an accident, then it was THE DEVIL (spooky music, lightning flashes) #church

I like how #catholicism has ruggedly scripted services. I have been with my non-catholic wife to almost three hour services! Boo!

YAWNNNNN!!!

At #church they made us say Jesus three times. On the third I said #Beetlejuice ... #WIN

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