NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Free Music For Your Punk Ass ...

Here's some free music for your punk ass.


No real reason for it. It's just some music I've been sitting on for a while. Thought I'd hook you guys up.


OOOOH! I just remembered that I now have THIRTY FANS! YAY ME! YAY THIS BLOG!


Let's go back and say that it's for that, okay?




Enjoy ...


Richard Cheese: Hello

Electric Six: Gay Bar

Elvis Costello: Waiting For The End Of The World

The Groovie Ghoulies: I Wanna Have Fun With You

Eels: My Beloved Monster

The Vince Guaraldi Trio: Pebble Beach

Flight of the Conchords: Mutha_uckas

They Might Be Giants: Cyclops Rock


You're welcome.


Wind Clan out.

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia, imdb, the awesome website Kindertrauma as well as my own bad movie knowledge ...


"Eaten Alive is a 1977 horror film directed by acclaimed director Tobe Hooper, creator of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In this film, a psychotic redneck who owns a dilapidated hotel in the backwater swamps of Louisiana kills various people who upset him or his business, and he feeds their bodies to a large crocodile that he keeps as a pet in the swamp beside his hotel.


The cast includes Neville Brand, perennial exploitation film star Roberta Collins, Robert Englund who later appeared in A Nightmare on Elm Street, frequent Brian de Palma actor William Finley, Marilyn Burns who had appeared in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Janus Blythe who later appeared in The Hills Have Eyes, and Kyle Richards who later acted in Halloween. Name actors Carolyn Jones, best known as Morticia from the Addams Family television show, and Mel Ferrer are prominently billed but play small supporting roles.




Some critics noted that Hooper tried to recreate the gritty look and popularity of The Texas Chainsaw massacre, but did not succeed in terms of the film's intensity. The main reason for this was that Hooper felt the producers were compromising his vision by exerting control over the film. As a result of this, Hooper left the set with three weeks of principal photography remaining. After Hooper's departure, Carolyn Jones, and the editor, Michael Brown, reportedly finished directing the final weeks of the film. This means that Morticia Adams apparently helped direct this film. How awesome is that?


As is the custom of the world of grindhouse films such as this one, the film was then released under several titles in different regions, including Death Trap, Horror Hotel, Horror Hotel Massacre, Legend of the Bayou, Murder on the Bayou, The Crocodile of Death, and Starlight Slaughter.




Loosely based on the story of Joe Ball (also known as the Bluebeard from South Texas or the Alligator Man) from Elmendorf, Texas, sometime after Prohibition ended. He owned a bar with an alligator pit serving as an entertainment attraction. Several murders of women ensued, but it was never proven that the flesh found in the pit was human. However, Joe did commit suicide upon possibility of capture.


This movie was one of the so called 'Video Nasties' in the UK during the early 80s. The movie was not successfully prosecuted for obscenity. Mary Whitehouse took a personal objection to this movie. Overall, the film is scattershot, brutally blunt and sometimes feels like it’s held together with spit and crossed fingers. Like the run down hotel it takes place in, the overall structure comes off as flimsy and second hand and the walls literally wobble. Yet it’s also strangely eerie and is a fun ride of a film to watch!"




Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

Popcorn

Pepsi

More Coffee

Various Chips

A Buncha Coffee

Reese's Pieces

Slightly Melty Ice Cream

My Wife's Ample Tits


... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE!


Please, though, a few rules first...


There is absolutely no talking in Steve's Theater and any and all talkers WILL be Hulk Smash-ed right in the daddyballs. No cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. And absolutely NO TEXTING! I am so super serious about that last one.


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Enjoy the show y'all!




And here is the ever growing list of Sunday movies that I've seen so far ...


December 7th, 2008: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th, 2009: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colossal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)
November 29th: MST3K Gamera Triple Feature (free to watch)
December 6th (part 1): She Demons (free to watch)
December 6th (part 2): MST3K's The Incredible Melting Man (free to watch)
December 13th: A Triple Threat of Riffs
December 20th: Manos (free to watch)
December 24th: Christmas Eve Bonus - Manster (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Screaming Skull (free to watch)
December 27th (part 2): The Sadist/Eegah (free to watch)
January 3rd, 2010: Wrestling With Shadows (free to watch)
January 17th (part 1): Teenage Zombies (free to watch)
January 17th (part 2): Horror of the Zombies (free to watch)
January 24th: The Crawling Hand/The Monster That Challenged The World (free to watch)
January 30th: Atom Age Vampire, the Steve-a-fied Edition (free to watch)
February 14th: House On Haunted Hill-Original and Remake (free to watch)
February 21st: Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory (free to watch)
February 28th: The Atomic Brain LIVE in Steve's Living Room
March 7th: Lady Frankenstein (free to watch)
March 14th (part 1): Castle of Evil (free to watch)
March 14th (part 2): Tormented (free to watch)
March 21st: A.P.E (WARNING: movie contains a line about RAPE which may apparently offend your more easily offended, closed minded female co-workers)
March 23rd (make up): Tarantula (free to watch)
April 11th (part 1): Warning From Space (free to watch)
April 11th (part 2): They Came From Beyond Space (free to watch)
April 18th (part 1): The Phantom of 10,000 Leagues (free to watch)
April 18th (part 2): Gappa The Triphibian Monster (free to watch)
April 25th: Killers From Space (free to watch)
May 2nd: THEM! (free to watch)
May 8th: Astro-Zombies (free to watch)
May 15th: The Snow Creature/The Phantom Planet (free to watch)
May 21st (part 1): The Giant Spider Invasion (free to watch)
May 21st (part 2): The Deadly Mantis (free to watch)
May 30th: They Saved Hitler's Brain (free to watch)
June 6th: The Lost Skeleton Of Cadavra/Newsies
June 13th: The Mole People (free to watch)
June 20th (part 1): The Incredible Petrified World (free to watch)
June 20th (part 2): MST3K's "Lazerblast" (free to watch)
June 20th (part 3): Mortal Kombat (free to watch)
June 20th (part 4): Into The Woods
June 26th: Teenagers from Outer Space (free to watch)
July 4th: Batman (free to watch)
July 10th: The Amazing Transparent Man (free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 1): The Crazies (original - free to watch)
July 22nd (Surgery Edition, Part 2): The Giant Claw (free to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 3): The Day The Earth Froze (ffree to watch)
July 24th (Surgery Edition, Part 4): Don't Look In The Basement (free to watch)
July 25th (Surgery Edition, Part 5): Invasion of the Neptune Men (free to watch)
July 26th (Surgery Edition, Part 6): Yongary, Monster from the Deep (free to watch)
July 31st: The Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human
August 7th: Starman Double Feature (free to watch)
August 14th: Assassin of Youth (free to watch)
August 22nd: The Brain from Planet Arous (free to watch)
August 28th: Dementia 13 (free to watch)
August 30th Special Monday Night Freebie: The Indestructible Man (free to watch)
September 5th: Alien Trespass
September 12th: The Castle of Cagliostro (Netflix on Demand)
September 19th (part 1): Scream and Scream Again (free to watch)
Septemner 19th (part 2): Dragon Wars (free to watch)
September 26th: cat-Women Of The Moon (free to watch)
October 2nd: The Food Of The Gods (Netflix on Demand)
Woodmas, October 10th: Plan 9 LIVE
October 17th: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (free to watch)
October 24th: Donovan's Brain (free to watch)
October 31st: The Hideous Sun Demon (free to watch)
December 12th: 4-D Man (Netflix on Demand)
December 18th: The Tingler (free to watch)
December 27th (part 1): The Man From Planet X (Netflix On Demand)
December 27th (part 2): Little Shop of Horrors (free to watch)
January 2nd, 2011: The Creature from the Black Lagoon (free to watch)
January 16th: Real Genius (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 1): The Horror of Party Beach (free to watch)
January 23rd (part 2): The Beach Girls and the Monster (free to watch)
January 30th: They Live (free to watch)
February 6th: The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (free to watch)
February 13th: Chained For Life (free to watch)
February 19th: Ghost Rider (free to watch)
February 27th (Godfather of Gore Double Feature): Blood Feast/Two Thousand Maniacs (free to watch)
March 12th: MST3K's Red Zone Cuba (free to watch)
March 19th: Death Race 2000 (free to watch)
March 26th: I Eat Your Skin (free to watch)
April 2nd: Shock (free to watch)
April 9th: Trog (free to watch)
April 16th: Dwain Esper Double Feature (free to watch)
April 23rd: Turkish Superman (free to watch)
April 30th: Phenomena/Creepers (free to watch)
May 8th: Star Wars Uncut (free to watch)
May 18th (Make-Up Edition): The Stuff (free to watch)
May 22nd: Bloody Pit of Horror (free to watch)
May 29th: Special When Lit (free to watch)
June 5th: Hercules In New York (free to watch)
June 11th: The Thing From Another World (free to watch)
June 25th: Troll 2 (free to watch)
July 8th: Snow Monster (free to watch)
July 9th: Dr. Phibes Double Feature (free to watch)
July 16th: Parts: The Clonus Horror (free to watch)
August 14th: The Bat (free to watch)
August 21st: Zontar The Thing From Venus (free to watch)
September 3rd: Piranha (free to watch)
September 24th: Ring Of Terror (free to watch)
October 2nd: Monty Python Double Feature (free to watch)
October 8th: The Bat People (free to watch)
November 9th: Cinema Insomnia's Venus Flytrap (free to watch)
November 12th (part 1): Cannibal Holocaust (free to watch)
November 12th (part 2): Voodoo Man (free to watch)
November 19th: A Five Film Franken-Marathon (all 5 films free to watch)
November 27th: For Y'ur Height Only (free to watch)
December 18th: Reptilicus
January 24th, 2012: The Driller Killer (free to watch)
January 27th: Double Agent 73 (free to watch)
February 11th: Battle Roayle one and two (free to watch)
February 21st: Mst3k's Gorgo (free to watch)
March 7th: Mst3k's High School Big Shot (free to watch)
Cinema Insomnia's El Santo vs. las Mujeres Vampiro (free to watch)
March 25th: Nightmare In Wax (free to watch)

On Gallagher ...

So Gallagher had a second heart attack and retired from show business.


Sigh.


The world sheds a single tear.


At least we still have Black Gallagher.




Black Gallagher don't go out like no punk with no mallet!

Friday, March 30, 2012

My Life in Oklahoma (In Photos And Stories) ...

Isabela needs glasses full time. EVERYONE in my family (minus the baby) needs glasses, but it's Emerald that only has to wear them part time. Look how darn cute he is ...







Here is a grizzly crime scene photo. I snapped this picture of a MASSIVE train accident, thousands dead, Sir Topham Hat still remains missing! In other news, I'm awesome as hell ...




Literally everything outside is beautiful in Oklahoma ...






So these are the two birds that are nesting right in front of my store, right on the other side of the front window of the place. I see them and hear them chirp when I'm at the register. I hope they are husband and wife. I named them Barnes and Noblita. If they have babies I will name them after various sections. "Look! Manga is playing with Sewing! So cute!" Love it ...




My son is six months old and freaking AMAZING ...





Gotta go to work now.


Wind Clan out!

SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER: Isabela Galindo ...



im isabela and im 6 i like my dad and mom i like posting stuff and Avengers i like em so much i like dad so muck

An Apology ...



I have had three days off, three glorious consecutive days which I spent reading, watching Maury paternity episodes, hanging out with my amazing wife, downloading more Richard Cheese songs, spending time outside in the beautiful Oklahoma weather with my awesome wife, and basically doing nothing.


That is NOT what I wanted to apologize for.


During this three day weekend of mine I actually got around to watching the last Sunday Church-less Movie Of The Week.


What a horrible, stinky, hideously boring pile of SHIT that movie was! I apologize. I sincerely apologize for "Nightmare in Wax." I mean, I know that bad movies are kinda sorta my thing but JEEZ there's a LIMIT, you know?


I will be posting my next Church-less Movie Of The Week sometime tomorrow. And I promise it will be good.


Or at least watchable crap.


That is all.


Wind Clan out.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...



Yoinked from imdb, wikipedia, and the Horror Movie-A-Day blog ...


"Nightmare in Wax is a 1969 horror film from director Bud Townsend. Cult actor Cameron Mitchell plays Vince, a former film special effects engineer who is disfigured by Max, a rival for the affections of a woman. Leaving the film industry, Vince opens a wax museum just as popular stars of the screen start to go missing. Those selfsame stars soon feature as wax models in the museum.




This film seems like a 'groovy' sort of 1969 ripoff of Vincent Price's House Of Wax or Mystery Of The Wax Museum, albeit without the actual wax people. See, the twist here is that the victims are once again propped up in a wax museum BUT they aren’t regular folks made up to look like famous people but rather the ACTUAL famous people! And they’re not wax, or even dead - they’re victims of this serum that leaves them unable to move.




The movie was filmed in the now closed Movieland Wax Museum that was in Anaheim. Director Bud Townsend would later go on to direct the porn film Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy."


Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



Coffee

Pills

More Coffee

Red Vines

Rocky Road Ice Cream

Soda

Some More Coffee

Internet Porn


... AND NOW, Reverend Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week absolutely FREE! Yay me!


But first lets go over a few theater rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed. Any and all talkers will be high school locker room wet towel-snapped with extreme prejudice. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING! Seriously!


And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).


Friday, March 23, 2012

My Two Movies ...



I actually watched TWO MOVIES in theaters this week!


How the fuck did I do that?


Honestly, 21 Jump Street is pretty damn funny. It has SNL genius Chris Parnell, Nick Offerman from Parks and Recreation, Ellie Kemper from The Office, and some genius cameos from almost everyone from the original tv show INCLUDING Saint Johnny Depp.


Tonight I watched The Hunger Games with the whole family (minus Bela and Maxwell) and I loved it. The theater is small as hell, just one screen, but the theater was packed. The Hunger Games is about two and a half hours long but it's a thrilling, non-stop ride, even for people who have read the book a million times. There's a part with a wolf dog that will make EVERYONE jump.


I am so happy. Two movies in one week! Freaking awesome!


It's been a while. I need to get back into the swing of things, especially with the big summer movies coming up. I mean, I'm Reverend freaking Steve! I created a movie based solely on movies, yet I barely go to the movies. I feel ashamed. I need to get back to my thematic roots. I need to return to the theater.


Anyway, good movies.


I have storytime tomorrow.


Wish me luck everybody!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Warren Theater In Moore, Oklahoma ...

The Warren Theater is the single most beautiful movie theater I have ever gone into. I'm used to multi-screen cinemaplexes but this place harkens back to the term "movie palace," a term used to refer to the large, elaborately decorated movie theaters built between the 1910s and the 1940s. This is a modern day movie palace.


The front, only a small part of the theater which includes a brand new IMAX theater ...


The lobby is a grand and elegant two story affair with a circular snack bar in the center of everything ...


The arcade is small, but that was to be expected nowadays, I guess. I was hoping for more but at least they had a pinball machine. The bathrooms were massive and included a posh leather sitting room with a fireplace between the men's and women's rooms ...



Our seats were in the balcony of their massive main screen theater. Entrance to the balcony area is for guests 21 and over and includes a full service bar and lounge before and after the show. We ate at the bar and checked out the random movie memorabilia ...





Here's the view from the balcony ...


The food was amazing! I ate a Warren "Grand" burger which is a hamburger patty but instead of buns there were two grilled cheese sandwiches. It was amazing. And my mexi-friend and sister-in-law Lauren liked her food, which means that their menu passed the "pregnant woman" test ...


Waiting for the theater to open up, lauren gave me her phone and told me I could watch Netflix. I automatically went to que up the deadman ...


Wandering around, I even found an electronic movie poster which rotated a selection of upcoming movie posters. I snatched this pic of Avengers ...


The actual theater was MASSIVE! It was like something you'd see Phantom of the Opera live in. The lush, imported, oversized seats had a switch on the side that warmed up your butt and they even provide food and drink service straight to your seat throughout the movie. My jaw was on the floor ...



The movie was 21 Jump Street and it was good, a lot better than I expected. But I could have watched a horrible movie, Manos: The Hands of Fate or Troll 2 or Titanic or some piece of crap like that, and still had an absolutely AMAZING time!