There are no boobs in this post, not will there be any pictures of boobs. I just put that in the headline to grab eyeballs, you know?
Why are you here?
I ask that because, for some strange reason, this blog has been averaging between 600 and 6,000 hits a day. I repeat, A DAY! And those are some pretty impressive stats for an old blog where some stranger posts free bad movies and whines about cutting and big boobs.
The kicker in all this, though, is that my tracking software that tracks visitors and hits, the widget that gives me this blog's stats, apparently cannot handle the pressures of fame because it is giving me the numbers but it is NOT telling me WHY so many eyes are eyeballing this thing.
So so so.
Here are my leading theories:
This may be the case. After all, before I got married and started a family, my main drive, my main focus, was on spreading the word of Woodism, the religion I created in 1996 and during that time I did a ton of press. I was in National Enquirer, Rue Morgue, blurbs in Playboy and mentions in New Yorker. Heck, I wrote an article in the Huffington Post, for Wood's sake! I'm a negative Z list celebrity, so maybe there was a mention somewhere that I just don't know about.
And that leads me to ...
2) Ed Wood
Like I said, I created my own religion. I'm a cult leader. And I own the domain EdWood.org ... however, since I am following in my savior Ed Wood's high heeled footsteps by being a broke mother fucker, I have lapsed on paying the nearly $20 a month I have to pay (highway robbery) to keep it going. I make absolutely no money off of my religion. Well, actually, this year I have made a whopping $26 from my religion. Wow, right? So maybe all the blog views are stray Woodites looking for leadership. I doubt it, but it IS a possibility.
And finally, what may be the REAL reason ...
3) Boobs and Movies (and boobs)
Yeah. I occasionally post non-nude pictures of beautiful women. And I also post free bad movies and silly pictures and ramblings about family life and my struggles with cutting myself. But even if I write the longest and most touching blog post ever the mot popular posts will always be the boobs an the movies and the boobs. Sigh. So maybe I'm just overthinking things. Maybe it's just the boobs.
So that's that. Boobs, probably.
I am fine, though.
I mean, I'm broke as hell and my asthma is intensifying and I cannot afford my meds and our car might be taken away and I hate myself and my PTSD from the robbery has come back and I'm cutting myself again.
Wind Clan out.