I'm so goddamn depressed.
I have no money, no prospects, no life. Nothing.
What happened to me?
The crux of all this is my job.
It's a good job. But it's a random job that gives me 38 hours one week, then 20 the next. Hell, I work 4 1/2 hours today. I sneeze that much in a day. I work a sneeze shift today. Shit, I work sneezes all this week.
I am a sneeze.
I need another job. Hell, I need like four new jobs.
But what do I do? Where do I go? Who will hire me?
Also, I'm living in Okla-fucking-homa now! The only jobs I see are goddamned laborer jobs and factory jobs and heavy lifting by rednecks with neck tattoo jobs. That's not for me.
So what the hell do I do?
That video store job would have been perfect. I could TASTE that damn job!
Unfortunately, after three interviews and a 100% verbal agreement that I would in fact be hired, the powers that be within Family Video decided not to hire me. And that stings. It stings like hell. And I can't help but think that if I were a white skinned guy who believed in Jesus that I would be hired. But, whatever. Past is past.
I would love to get a library job. I have the experience, the qualifications. But there are no openings, nowhere, ever, except for one opening by my house that requires a degree that I do not have.
I feel like such a failure.
I want to cry.
I want to cut.
I'm sick and tired of being broke all the time.
I'd sell meth if I was any good at chemistry.
(That was a joke, btw.)