So anyways, here I am, back at the library computers, blogging my pathetic little heart out.
This place is driving me fucking crazy.
It's because it's Labor Day weekend. That's why there's so many people here. This place is driving me crazy just like the community pool used to drive me crazy when I was a child. Too many people here. Too many kids playing dress up games and too many annoying teens checking their facebooks and too many creepy ass adults missing teeth playing online games and god knows what else. The smell of sweat and desperation fills the air. It's gross.
I love libraries. Don't get me wrong. I love them. But this is also pretty damn gross.
Here's a few examples:
-There's a old guy wandering around the magazines right behind the computers. He has no teeth. He has scars all over his arms and sores on his face. He smells of sweat and urine. He has a caine. He has a number of patches suggesting that he was at one time in some sort of war. And he's talking to himself, at times quiet and at times loud as hell. He's scaring me. And I think he might be talking about me. I distinctly heard the word "wetback" in one of his rants and the only people in this library (and this state) are indians and white bread folk. I stick out like a sore thumb in a toe convention.
-There's an overweight indian chick, Native American I should say, who smells of sweat as if she has walked here from a great distance in the 109-degree heat. There are no open computers and she doesn't have a reservation and apparently the 30-seconds it takes to make a reservation is too much for her. So she is going to EVERYONE'S COMPUTER and, apparently because she is goddamned blind, she is shoving her fat fucking rude ass head INTO EVERYONE'S COMPUTER SCREEN to see the small box on the bottom right that says how much time you have left. She is looking at EVERYONE's computer screens, covering up the screen, getting her fat face between you and your computer, and she's doing this to everyone.
-My daughter, Isabela, is with me. She brought her Nintendo DS. And some girl, some freaking STRANGER, asked her to play it. A complete and total FUCKING stranger had the BALLS to ask my daughter to let her play her DS. Seriously, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?!?!? It reminds me of the time I loaned a stranger an album I bought before I even bought it. Bela is repeating my life. I hope to god she doesn't have to relive my whole life. Most of it was loneliness and hurt. I want more for her.
Anyway, things are good.
I have just completed an entire week of being a stay at home dad. It's pretty fun/boring/exciting/freeing/depressing/awesome.
Pick one of those.
I wish I had the internet at home. Or a working computer. Or cable. Or a tv that got television stations.
I watch a lot of dvds. A LOT! And I do a lot of reading.
Hey, it MAY be slow and maddening and frustrating and a bit lonely. But it's better than working at a bookstore that doesn't care if I live or die.
I'm getting out of here. These people are reeeally creeping me out.