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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Oklahoma: Where It's Still The 1950s ...

I want to talk about a law.

I know that law is usually not my subject of choice but this is somewhat shocking and I just learned of its existence and I would really like to talk about it.

And i'd also like to talk about politics. And cussing. And religion. And old people. And tattoos. And maybe a few other things, too. But mainly I want to talk about that law that I mentioned before.

Here goes.

I was reading the paper yesterday and I discovered a tiny little blurb about a new law here in Oklahoma and it shocked me. And it takes a whole hell of a lot to shock the Reverend.

Basically, a new law just passed in this state says that law enforcement officers will soon have the option to seize people's license plates if they're uninsured drivers and then forcefully assign temporary insurance to them. This law apparently went into effect on November 1st but the police will not implement it until January.

I have a number of emotions regarding this.

First, and forgive me if I sound like somr soulless upperclass Republican here, but what the hell is wrong with our government? I mean, that sounds like something they'd implement in Korea or Germany but not here in America.

And please ... don't go trying to assume that you know my political ideology based on that last statement.

I've sided with Democrats and I've sided with Republicans. I was a registered libertarian for a while as well. But they're all blind to the reality of modern existence and modern problems. They're both pawns being played by the corporations and wealthy bastards that REALLY own this country. Democracy and the polarity of our two party system are nothing more than blinders on a horse or perhaps a cone you put on a dog so it won't hurt itself. It's a shield, a front.

Politics are all smoke and mirrors meant to distract us. The stupid red vs blue political fights that I see all across this country I see as what they really are: little clueless babies crying over shit that they don't really understand while the grown ups light huge cigars with thousand dollar bills on fire.

I hate lies and the joke that is our democracy is the biggest lie there is right now.

But I digress.

Secondly, this isn't the first crazy sounding Oklahoma law that i've heard of. Those of you who are regular readers of this blog may remember when I visited the Shawnee tag office and discovered Oklahoma law title 21, chapter 36 which is an actual law still in the books that makes it illegal to cuss in public, in front of a woman, or in front of a kid age ten and under. The punishment is a fine of $100 and possible jail time.

WHAT DAFUQ DOES THIS STATE THINK THIS IS, THE BLACK PEOPLE-HATING 1950S? How backwards is this stupid state?

There's also a law on the books that makes it illegal to take the lord's name in vain. Saying "Goddammit" can actually land you a whopping one dollar fine. One dollar.

Ok.

So.

Why do I live here again?

But i'm not entirely SHOCKED by these laws. I'm not shocked because I am already well aware of how cluelessly anti-modern and thoroughly ass-backwards the state of Oklahoma is. I'm weeeeell aware that Oklahoma and the rest of the midwest has their heads up their ass. Well aware.

See, all the upper class Christian white folk what live round these here parts like pretending that it's still the fifties. They don't want to be modern or accepting. They believe in Gawd and Jeeshush and guns and the Bible and huntin' and they force all of their personal beliefs on literally everyone else around them.

I believe in religion.

I do. I feel that it has a healing power and can be quite helpful. I like religion.

But where almost all religions fail is when they believe that what they believe is the ONLY WAY to believe and that anyone who believes different is wrong and somehow evil. That is why religion fails. That is why it's ruining us.

Hey. Believe whatever the hell you want to believe in. Just don't throw your crazy down my throat and expect to swallow it.

I work at a bookstore in Oklahoma. My job primarily focuses on getting old people whatever Fox News just told them to get. I smile and act happily and give them what they want.

Then they talk to me.

Seriously, if I had a quarter for every time that some decrepid old white person started droning on and on about how horrible the Democrats are and how evil Obama is and how great Rush Limbaugh is, well, i'd be a billionaire right now.

Here's another example of just how hillariously ass-backwards this stTe is.

Tattoos have long ago permeated our modern society. I imagine long ago, maybe in the 1940s or the 1950, tattoos were seen by the people at large as being this sign of evil living and loose morals and whatnot, but that thinking expired a long long long long LOOOONG time ago, right?

Right?

But get this ... tattoos were illegal in Oklahoma until 2007!

2007!

Two thousand freaking seven!!!

THAT, my friends, is exactly how ass-backwards Oklahoma is! In 2006 there were repressed Okies still thinking that tattoos were evil. That is laughably idiotic. That is almost unbelievable. How could a state be THAT FAR behind the rest of the nation?

So, while the rest of the nation is coming to terms with the NON-lethality of marijuana and the non-evil nature of gays and lesbians, I expect this woefully backwards state of mine to continue reading gun magazines and continue chewing and continue frothing at the mouth at the sight of a liberal or a mixed race couple and if, and this is a very strong IF, this state ever accepts pot and gay marriage then it will no doubt be such a loooooong time in the future that my great great grandchildren will no doubt be the ones on THEIR blogs going:

"CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IT'S 2103 AND OKLAHOMA !JUST! NOW LEGALIZED POT?!?"

Seriously.

Fuck this state.

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