NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Two Types Of Oklahoma Drivers ...

There are only two types of drivers here in Oklahoma.

The following story will demonstrate the differences ...

Imagine you are driving down a one lane highway. It isn't busy. The highway is fairly deserted except for one car behind you and one car in front of you. The posted speed limit is 65mph.

TYPE 1: The car in front of you. It is driven by an elderly person. The car will most likely have either an OU sticker, a sticker designating their love for hunting, or both. The car is driving anywhere between 5-15 miles BELOW the speed limit. There is no real reason for this other than THEY'RE OLD. If the speed limit were 50 they would go 40. If the speed limit were 35 they would go 20. If the speed limit were 20 then you might have to get out and push.

WARNING: Do NOT ride their ass! That will cause them to get angry and drive even slower! Trust me!

TYPE 2: The car behind you. It is some kind of sports car or perhaps a truck. It will most likely have either an OU sticker, a sticker designating their love for hunting, a Monster Energy Drink logo (inexplicably), or all three. This vehicle will be driving 10-25 miles ABOVE the speed limit. This vehicle blames YOU and ONLY YOU for the slowness of the traffic and will ride your ass, flip you off, or perhaps both. Do NOT do ANYTHING to upset this driver. He/She WILL get upset.

There is no middle ground in Oklahoma. YOu are either type 1 or type 2.

Unfortunately.

Also, if you see a car driving slow and think you should pass them THINK TWICE! The car might take your passing as a threat to their manhood and speed up in anger.

Seriously.

Fuck this state.

No comments: