NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Monday, April 29, 2013

My Interview ...

I had a job interview today.

It was with Family Video.  Good, friendly company.  It's doing strong too in the face of a recession,  do that's great news. I'm still with "the bookstore that must not be named" but I'm tired of getting so few hours and not getting any respect.  So i'm branching out. It's hard for me to do different things and be bold but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I was in that interview for over and hour and the store manager and I spent most of our time talking about our kids and what movies we liked. We got along like gangbusters. She loves bad movies so we went off for a really long time on Rock of Ages and those Scifi channel "Mega Shark" atrocities.

She is absolutely willing to hire me part time and she was going to hire me at that exact second but she thinks that I would be a wonderful store manager or assistant manager ... so I have another interview tomorrow at 10am with the district manager.

YEAUHH!!!

So I have another interview tomorrow but I might be a stor manager! I might be an assistant manager! I might actually be SOMETHING! It's been a while since I've been something, you know?

And the best part is that the woman who I talked with today, she said that if for whatever reason I didn't get to be a store manager, and she said she doubts that will happen, but if thr DM doesn't turn me into a store manager, then she has no problem hiring me part time at her store.

So basically what I'm saying is I gotta freaking second job!

THANK YOU,  ED WOOD!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Steve's Church-less Movie of the Week ...




Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia machine of knowledge ...



"Warm Bodies is a 2013 American paranormal romantic zombie comedy film based on Isaac Marion's novel of the same name. Directed and written by Jonathan Levine, the film stars Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer.



The film focuses on the development of the relationship between Julie, a young woman, and R, a zombie, and how their eventual romance develops throughout. The film is noted for displaying human characteristics in zombie characters, and for being told from a zombie's perspective






Warm Bodies is a novel by author Isaac Marion. The book was described as a zombie romance by the Seattle Post Intelligencer, and makes allusions to William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. The author, based in Seattle, originally wrote a short story titled 'I Am a Zombie Filled with Love' on his blog. Atria Books, a division of Simon and Schuster, acquired the publishing rights to the full novel in early 2010.



The author has retweeted Steve Galindo. Therefore, the author of this blog is totally hecka famous and should get a million blowjobs.



On January 28, 2013, Zola Books published Isaac Marion's novella e-book prequel to Warm Bodies, titled The New Hunger. On October 15, 2012, Marion announced via his blog that he is writing a sequel. No official title or release date have been set."







Steve's Snacks Of The Week:





Coffee


Pills


Strawberries


More Coffee


Yet Even More Coffee


Random Potato Chip Shards


Random Sodas







... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's super special Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety FOR FREE! Because I fucking rock is why.



But lets go over a few theater rules first. Firstly, there's absolutely no talking allowed in Steve's Theater during our feature and any and talkers WILL be given a hot carl. Seriously!



Also, no cell phones or African-American berries in the theater. No open flames. Gays are accepted, however. Dispose of all trash in its proper receptacle. And please, absolutely NO TEXTING! Very serious about that one.



And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).





ENJOY THE SHOW, Y'ALL!




Watch "Warm Bodies" for free right now!



PS. I just leveled up my Punisher. Level three. It was hard. But now he kicks ass. I want Spider-Ham. Bad. MARVEL! Make a Spider-Ham!

Saturday, April 27, 2013

My Superhero Weekend ...

I have been chosen to beta test the new Marvel online role playing game this weekend.

We have no internets yet at our new place, so I am spending a crapton of time at my brother in law's place which is about a block and a half away.

It is freaking amazing!

I have a Thing at level 5 that just defeated Electro in Hells Kitchen and I also have a Punisher and a Hawkeye that are still stuck at level one. Punisher is almost level two.

See, Thing is a reeealllly easy character to start with because he is just an unstoppable muscle machine. Punisher may look cooler but he has no real powers and so he is much much MUUUUCH harder to fight with and level up.

Also my computer is old and makes everything really blocky, but it's still amazing as all hell.

That is all.

Wind Clan out.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Gummy Bear Internment Camp ...

Yup.

It happened.

My oldest daughter and I made this the last time we were at Golden Corral together.

It was based on the premise that the reds are the superior gummy flavor and the yellows are the inferior flavor. Also, yellow mirrors Americas internment of the Japanese during world war dos.

So here it is.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Various Random Whatnots ...

Just thought I'd give you a random heads up. It's been a while.

I'm home alone right now watching The Avengers. Love it. I could watch Avengers every day and still Mark out watching it. As a child I didn't have too many friends so I would stay in my room and read my comic books and dream of big budget movies I assumed would never happen. Now they're here. It's amazing.

I've got a cup of coffee next to me I've been awake only for about two hours. I woke up at one in the afternoon. It felt damn good.

I've got a very heavy book on my lap. It's great. I'm reading an advanced copy of Joe Hill's upcoming book "NOS4A2" and I'm on page 201 of about 670. Im not even halfway and I'm already creeped the heck out. It us an amazing world he paints and I just do NOT want it to end.

I have a tall boy of Coors Light in the fridge and the DVD Django Unchained, which I haven't watched yet, but because I love my wife so much I am biting my lip and watching other things instead.

Now that is love!

Hey! Here is some good news!

This May 5th, Cinco De Mayo, is my wife and I's anniversary! We have been together, been dating, for over a decade now! A decade! Over ten goddamn YEARS together!

How fucking amazing is that?

So to celebrate we will probably go out and do our usual thing: have a really nice dinner in OKC, get drunk as hell, watch whatever the newest superhero movie is in theaters, I believe that's Iron Man 3, go roller skating, and probably go home and fuck each others brains out. It's going to be awesome.

Hopefully we will be getting wifi soon at our new house, Downton Flabby, here in Shawnee. Then I will be sure to post the regular free bad movies and big titties that people are accustomed to here.

That's about it.

Wind Clan out.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Mysterious "Hipster Cops" ...

Behold, the mysterious "Hipster Cops" mystery!

In almost every Harpercollins publishing children's books about superheroes, regardless of it being Marvel or DC or in Metropolis or in New York or even in Gotham City, the exact same two hip looking young guys show up. Usually they show up as cops but sometimes on the other side of the law. They even show up in Transformers and Iron Man books. I just recently discovered this and found a buttload of examples for you.

If my broke ass ever makes it to Comicon I am either going as my favorite superhero, Spider Ham, or get someone to go with me as the "Hipster Cops."

Witness my own personal finds of these mysterious "Hipster Cops" ...

Monday, April 8, 2013

Staring At The Goat ...

So we're moved into our new place now.

Yay us!

(applause)

So I'm unpacking today. What fun, right?

My wife constantly accuses me of, when I am unpacking, making sure to unpack the TV and the DVD player first (!) but today, as I've been here alone unpacking, I showed my wife thing or two ... I unpacked the DVD's first! So ha!

So now we live in a town called Shawnee. It's about 4 times bigger than the last no nothing Oklahoma tiny little hickville town we lived in before, so that's good. We don't live in the best neighborhood in the world: not to be racist but I think that we're the only non black people on our street ... aaaand the people across the street own a pet goat ... aaaand there's two houses right next to us that are empty. I'm thinking of breaking into them and playing paintball. I've never played paintball before. It just sounds like its fun.

That whole racist thing, let me explain ... we have a family right next door to us and the (I'm sure) veeeeery nice african-american mom who lives there screams at her children a lot and we overheard her saying on the phone about my oldest daughter Emerald "There some white girl out here. Ain't nobody gonna play with you!"

Racist, right?

So we may have some racial issues there. But thankfully my wife and kids and I are not the most social people. We usually just stay to ourselves and not bother with other people and drama and stuff. So that's good.

It's a really different world that we live in here in Oklahoma. I've been living here for about 17 months or so and I guess I'm starting to get used to it. But every once in awhile this state throws me a curveball. Like yesterday or the day before. I think it was the day before when we were driving home. There was a horse in our yard in our driveway. Yeah. There was a horse! An actual horse! I could not believe that! That's definitely something that would never happen in freaking California, may that state rot in hell, save Disneyland.

Everybody seems to be slower here and I don't mean slower in a stupid way. It just seems as if life moves slower here and I'm trying really hard to not be in a hurry for everything like everyone was in California and and I guess the same thing in Arizona except more racist.

Like yesterday, we got some folding chairs and put them out on our porch and sat there and stared at the goat across the street.

That's all we did.

We stared at the goat.

The goat has a dog friend and it plays with the dog. It's cute. I think that it's playing. The dog runs and prances and the goat gets all pissed off and headbutts it with his huge horns. It's actually kinda cute except for, I imagine, the brain trauma that the dog must be feeling.
We sat there watching the dog and the goat play for a good half hour or 45 minutes. It was amazing. I named the goat, too. It's Go-go, as in "Go-go Para Presidente."

I'm watching 30 Rock now and unpacking.

Wish me luck with this move here.

And I will say hi to the goat for you.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Another Big Move ...

So we are moving.

Again.

We are not moving too far though. We are moving to a town about 15 minutes away. It's not too far but it will be closer to my work so it'll only be about 40 minutes going to my work instead of the 50 minutes to an hour that it takes now.

It is also a much bigger town and I'm pretty excited about that because I live in a small tiny little village filled with hicks right now and now I will be living in a slightly bigger small town filled with hicks.

So yay for that.

I also figured out how to blog using my phone where I just talk to my phone and it types out everything that I say so I'm pretty excited about that.

The really amazing thing about this move is that we're going from a small place that we live in right here in the town that we live in now, from there we are going to a place that is both bigger and much much cheaper. We will be living in an actual house and we will have a yard and its bigger and we'll have two bathrooms instead of just one. We're all very excited about this move.

I don't know when we will be getting wifi back in our new place. However, we have a relative who works at a cable place nearby and he should be able to get us a discount which we should actually be able to afford this time since, as I said before, the place that we are moving to is a whooooole lot cheaper and its an actual house!

Yay!

So this isn't a good bye. Its just an I don't know when I'll see you, hopefully soon, and wish me luck, I guess.

Wind Clan out.