NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

"The Yesterday Machine is a 1963 American film written, directed and produced by Russ Marker and featuring Tim Holt, James Britton, Jack Herman, Ann Pellegrino and Robert Bob Kelly. The plot centers around a Nazi scientist who invents a time machine to go back to alter the outcome of WWII.

Critic Paul Gaita panned the film. He wrote, 'The camp value of this off-kilter science fiction effort from Texas-based low-budget filmmaker Russ Marker is seriously undermined by a dreary pace, comparable to a period educational film. This analogy reaches a terminal point when, late in the film, the scientist pulls out a chalkboard and begins drawing diagrams to help the captured reporter understand the workings of his machine and time travel in general. Holt, light years from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and even The Monster That Challenged the World, would take a step further down the exploitation evolutionary scale with his next and final film, Herschell Gordon Lewis' dreadful hillbilly satire This Stuff'll Kill Ya!"

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week: Special Ed Wood Edition ...

Yoinked from wikipedia and my own badass movie knowledge ...

"I Woke Up Early The Day I Died is 1998 American thriller/comedy film written by Edward D. Wood, Jr. It was the last full script he wrote before his death. The movie, produced two decades after Edward D. Wood Jr.'s death, was aimed at being a tribute to him. The producers of this film used many techniques that Wood himself would use, such as including stock footage to save filming expenses.

The entire film is silent except for music and incidental sounds. The film, directed by Aris Iliopulos, features a MASSIVE CAST which includes Billy Zane, Tippi Hedren, Ron Perlman, Christina Ricci, Leif Garret, Eartha Kitt (whose name appears on a theater marque in Ed's Plan 9), Maila Nurmi (Vampira), Will Patton, Tara Reid, John Ritter, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Steven Weber, and many others.

This film marks Vampira's last film appearance.

The film earned rave reviews internationally and was released on VHS in Germany. However, the film company went bankrupt shortly after the film's premiere in New York, making this film widely unseen."

VISIT THE CHURCH OF ED WOOD HERE!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Maxwell Pictures ...

My youngest daughter just turned eight years old and my son just turned two. I can't believe he's already freaking two!

Here are sone pictures of my Max ...

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

"Los Monstruos del Terror (The Monsters of Terror), also known as Dracula vs. Frankenstein and Assignment Terror, is a 1970 Spanish/German/Italian horror film that is the third in a series featuring the werewolf, Waldemar Daninsky, played by Paul Naschy. The film was originally slated to be called The Man Who Came From Ummo, referring to the Michael Rennie character.

It was shown on American TV in the 70's as Assignment Terror, and was later released on VHS as Dracula vs Frankenstein (not to be confused with the infamous Al Adamson film of the same name). Although most TV prints of this film are faded "pan and scan" messes, there is a DVD release from Luminous Film and Video Wurks that preserves the letterboxed image, has nice color and is apparently uncut (although a bit splicy).

Lead actor Paul Naschy also wrote the screenplay. The original shooting title was The Man Who Came from Ummo (El Hombre que Vino de Ummo), but the producer changed it to The Monsters of Terror. Direction was split between two people, Tulio Demichelli and Hugo Fregonese. Filming was interrupted because of financial difficulties and also resulted in the script not being filmed as it was written. Whole segments of the script involving flying saucers and a Golem were never filmed as the result of sorely lacking funds."

New Me ...

This is me.

This is Steve, the stay at home daddy.

This is the new me.

This is the relaxed me.

This is the me that only works on the weekends.

This is the me that is no longer completely dependant on a bookstore.

This is the me that spends most of his day cleaning and reading to his son and watching Godzilla and old Disney movies with him.

This is the new me, the one who finally feels like he's alive.

The new me.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Staying At Home ...

Maxwell's Shoes ...

Maxwell wants to go outside and play.

Right?

And I am absolutely willing to do so. I am. I am willing and able to go play outside with him.

But for whatever reason he is acting like putting on shoes is the worst thing I've ever done. Like wearing shoes will kill him.  Like shoes are torture.  Like I spend all day beating him with shoes.

It's been about twenty minutes nonstop of this boy screaming and crying as loud as he can. As if i'm beating him.

He is so loud and has been for so long that i'm honestly worried that all the neighborhood old fogies will literally think that i'm beating him and call the racist cops who won't give me a fair trial and throw me in jail for child abuse simply because i'm a latino man.

But Maxywell is just acting like shoes are the goddamn devil.

Shit.

This mommy thing is hard as hell,  boy.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Random Whatnots ...

-I have been writing on this blog since 2002. That's a long ass time. In fact, this very post is actually post #2100. My two thousand-th, one hundred-th blog post in over a decade. Man I'm old.

-I'm at the doctor's office right now.  I'm here because Isabela has been sick. I'm here with Maxwell being crazy and Bela being a crazy enabler. Man. This is hard. In fact ...

-This whole mommy job of mine is haaaaard, boy. It's a lot harder than I realized. I mean, cleaning the whole house and cooking and taking care of the kids. Hell, simply taking care of Maxwell is a full time job, let alone having the whole house cleaned by the time the exterminators come tomorrow.

-That's about it. The doc's here. Gotta go.