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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My Global Warming Theory: Al Gore Is Secretly Destroying Our Planet (And Also Some Family Pictures) ...

Two things:

1) I'm going to post some family pictures.

and

2) I'm going to explain my crazed theory as to why I believe global warming is man-made.

Bear with me...

So a little less than two days ago it was a perfect 75-degree day here in Oklahoma. It was amazing. No clouds. No massive winds. Just a slight chill. Flip flops weather.

It was great.

And so, although we're all still going nuts over our new wi-fi, we all decided to spend most of the day outside. We spent the day at the park, saying hi to the horses, playing around, riding bikes, and just altogether having ourselves a cool little day together as a family.

Here are some pics ...

Beautiful weather. It was like a sunny California fall-slash-winter sort of day. Perfect.

And, again, that was a little less than two freaking days ago.

Keep that in mind.

Why? Because today it's 12-degrees with small flurries of snow outside. And with the wind chill it feels like it's zero degrees.

Seriously.

Fuck Oklahoma weather.

When will people learn that global warming is real?

When will people realize that my theory is true?

Here's my theory- Al Gore was driven to madness after losing the presidential election and decided to get his revenge against the world that shunned him by creating an evil weather machine which he now uses in his evil castle lair to cause massive weather changes which will eventually destroy the entire planet.

Really.

That's my theory and I stick to it. He's like an evil super villain now except he pretends to be a humanitarian like Lex Luthor and only I see thru his disguise and see the evil underneath. His documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, that was really his manifesto. Al Gore is evil and he is dead set on destroying us all.

Oh, and also, he has on a Dr. Doom costume on in my theory as well. But like with no mask. And he cackles an evil cackle as I stand here in 12-dehree weather freezing my mexican jumping beans off.

And that, my friends, is why every time the weather is really bad I literally shake my fist at the heavens and scream "Fuck you, Al Gooooooore!"

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