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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

About My Hair ...

I have somewhat long hair.

I say "somewhat" because I've definitely had much longer hair before. 2005, living in California. Had hair waaaaay past my shoulders. I liked having long hair back then. I really did.

But now I'm living in Oklahoma, in the midwest, in a land filled with uptight Christians who think that Harry Potter is the devil. In the midwest, anything different is considered bad. It's like Bricksburg in the beginning of The Lego Movie. Everyone's mission here is to conform and be like everyone else and blend in.

Little Boxes

So being a man and having long hair is bad. Really bad. And add to that the fact that I'm a brown skinned mexican man who sometimes wears glasses and sometimes wears suits and ties and sometimes wears a fedora and that adds up to me being a freak, a living and breathing anomaly, a walking contradiction. Everywhere I go I get stared at like I'm a goddamn freak. These upper class white Okies see me and they just don't comprehend my existence in their perfect nowhere world. I try not to look at them, try not to notice their stares and confused faces and disgusted, disapproving looks, but I can't.

I'm a freak here.

So often times I think that the best thing that I can do to fit in and be liked by everyone is to cut my hair. I mean, it's not that long anyway, right? So what would be the big deal with just going to some Supercuts or whatever and getting some sort of Army-like standard white bread midwestern buzzcut. I mean, it's just hair, right? Why should I care what I look like?

So I think about it.

Do you know what stops me from getting my hair cut?

Facebook.

See, I am friends on Facebook with the majority of my high school graduating class. That means that whenever I get on my Faceypages my feed is filled with men and women between the ages of 36 and 38.

And they almost ALL look like shit!

And here's some proof... I did a quick google search for men my age, 37, and here's a random sampling of the way that men my age look like:

... they look old. Apparently men my age look old and bald and tired and altogether defeated. And this goes doubly so to people on my Facebook page. I see pictures of people I went to high school and elementary school with and my jaw just drops and I scream "BUT WE'RE THE SAME AGE!?!?" as I see them and their love handles and their huge beer bellies and the rings around their old, weathered eyes. And the bald spots! I can't believe it! How did everyone I went to school with start looking so OLD?!?!

And so now here's me ...

I want to cut my hair to fit in, I really do, but since soooo many people my age and on my Facebook feed are soooo old and weathered and just freaking bald, I figure that since I have the hair then I might as well keep the hair. Apparently men my age just don't have hair anymore, So I should be grateful for what I got, right?

So I'm keeping my long ass hair.

And you can suck it, Oklahoma.

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