NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Wife Leaves For A Week: The Drive ...

We left yesterday at around 5:45pm after a hearty meal of hot-n-ready pizza with the kids. Nowhere, Oklahoma to Dallas, Texas and then back.

My daughters stayed home. My oldest is old enough and responsible enough to babysit, as she usually does once a week when both my wife and I are at work. So Emerald stayed at home with Bela and our "other daughter" Amber while my wife, my son, and I all made this somewhat massive three hours and change trek to the heart of "Tay-hass."

Random pictures ...

I've got a real hard on for midwestern cloud formations. It seems like I've been looking at standard clouds all my life but suddenly when I moved here the clouds are in HIGH DEFINITION and 3D and IN YOUR FACE and it's just amazing. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

Maxwell, my darling son, did good. He did great. There were times, sure, of course there were, when he was freaking out. A few tears were shed. A few screams did occur. He did NOT like being strapped to a car seat for so long. He HATED it!

But, hey, he's freaking two years old. Of COURSE he's going to freak out over a long ass car trip. Who wouldn't at that age? But, all in all, he did pretty good. He was, for the most part, happy and cheerful and talkative and downright chipper ...

At one point I asked him to sing to us.

Instead, he decided to tell us stories.

I got some of it on video. It's cute as hell ...

After stopping once to change m son and a second time to eat, we arrived at the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport at around 9:40pm. Maxwell fell asleep at around 9pm.

Tears were shed as we said good-bye. My wife is A) afraid to fly, and B) has never been this long without her son. So it was definitely a tough good-bye for us all. She got my sleeping son's face wet as she kissed him while fighting back heavily flowing tears, trying so hard not to cry too loud so he can stay asleep.

I snapped this picture of my wife before I drove away. I told her to look dramatic and this is what I got ...

It was a tough drive home. It took about three hours to get from the airport to my house, plus I had been up since 5:50am and I hadn't had any caffeine in a number of hours AAAAAND I really couldn't stop anywhere or get anything because of my sleeping baby. The last thing I wanted was for him to wake up and freak out, you know? But I am happy to say that, despite a few almost wake ups, he stayed asleep and I made it home. I made great time and, despite leaving the Dallas airport at around 9:50pm I managed to get home at around 12:30am.

The rest of the night wa-a-a-a-as ... difficult.

Once I got him out of the car, Maxwell knew what was up. He just KNEW his mom was gone and, half asleep, he started absolutely freaking the fuck out. He kept crying MOMMY GONE! and frrrrreaking the fuck out. I just didn't know what to do, you know?

My oldest daughter, Wood bless her, left a note on the door saying "Lay Maxwell down in MY bed" but no, he wasn't having any of that.

I spent the majority of last night LITERALLY trapped under him. It was like he was having me 100% hold him as he sleept. Like this ...

He kept sucking on my neck and whispering "boobie" in his sleep. Eventually he let me let her go, but then he thrashed around the whole bed like some sort of sleep parkour routine.

But then, like nothing happened, he woke up this morning happy as a clam and wanting to eat cold pizza and watch cartoons. So I don't really know what is in store for me this week. I'm nervous and scared but I'm trying to be calm and take this one day at a time.

One thing is for sure. Gonna be some rough ass nights ahead for me, yo. Some rrrrrough ass nights.

No comments: