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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Watching Firefly For The First Time: "Out of Gas" ...

Hello and welcome back!

Do you know what time is it, my friends?

Yes! It is time once again for me, Reverend Steve, to watch an episode of Firefly for the first time.

It's been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Yaaaaay! I just love all these Firefly posts, don't you? They seem to be pretty popular, lots of page hits for these babies, so I guess you do.

So, yeah. Awesome.

Anyway, it's been well over a month now since I started taking my first steps into the world of movies and tv shows that I've never bothered to watch. I have a real problem with popularity when it comes to pop culture. I've stayed away from a lot of things just because if their popularity. But I'm trying to change and to open my mind to new experiences and actually watch some of the crap I've always avoided for various reasons. And the first one that I have decided to try and watch is Joss Whedon's cult hit Firefly.

Here's how its been so far ...

The first pilot episode was just ok. Then I saw the second pilot episode, and that was much better. The third episode was a damn funny blog post. Then the next one I saw had boobs, so of course it was good. Then the next one I saw was a funny episode that I liked. And then the next one I saw was good, too. It had Zac Efron and junk. And the last one, the Jayne-centric one, was a bit of cheesy fun.

I bing-ed this episode (Get it? Because "Google" as a verb is to mainstream) and apparently today's episode, entitled Out of Gas, "differs stylistically from the rest of the series, in that it tells its story alternately in three timeframes: events in the present, events in the near-past that led to the present, and events in the past that led to the formation of Serenity's core crew."

Hmmmm ... this should beeeeeeee ... interesting?

So now it's time. Come, my invisible internet friends. Come sit by the fire or, in this case, the warm glow of your electronic device. Let us all sit down, watch another space cowboy episode, make fun of Tucson, Arizona (which I manage to do in every post), and have some stupid fun riffing on Firefly.

Lets do this ...

Opening narration is Mal. I like Barney Miller's narration better but what are you going to do, right?

So the ship is floating in space. It looks empty. And Mal collapses? And already there's a flashback. Jeez. This looks to be an episode where I'll have to think. I hate thinking. I don't regularly watch stuff to have to solve some puzzle or change my way of thinking or figure out the mystery. I watch entertainment to be entertained. I'll watch "Lobster Man from Mars" a million times before I'll see "Memento" twice. Anways, Mal and Zoe walking into the ship for the first time. Nathan Fillion looks to be about nineteen right here. Gawd. What a n00b!

I just want to point out that I'm watching this with closed captioning on and, when it was revealed right before the credits that Mal is bleeding, the closed captioning said "[grunts] [straining] [liquid splashing]" and that's just creepy. I think my closed captioning just sexually harassed me. I feel used, sexually, just from having to read that. Eww. Can someone say JAPANESE WEBSITE?

Shot of Mal staggering, then another flashback, this one slightly before whatever happened in the beginning. Loud dinner. Laughing. The doctor tries to tell a funny story and gets shot down. Ha ha, dumbass! You're vague and not well written! You're the Tucson of this show.

Thought I'd get the Tucson crack out of the way early this time.

It's the doctor's birthday. A lame ass cake. Then there's an explosion. Zoe gets hurt. Ehh. She doesn't have anything going for her, No great loss there. Then we get a shot of some of the worst, most CGI-looking fire this side of those lame Fantastic Four movies. Man those sucked, right?

Another flashback, this time showing us Wash with a mustache. Hiiiiiiiideous!

Now the flashbacks are coming fast. Adrenaline shots straight out of Pulp Fiction. Mal in the present dying. Zoe might die. And they're running out of air. It's the poor man's sci-fi cowboy Momento.

Hooray, he said sarcastically.

Sorry. I'm having a really hard time following this episode. There's three timelines happening at the same time. It's hard to follow a bit, you know?

Plus my son is LITERALLY crawling all over me right now.

See ...

It's a bit distracting.

So they hired an engineer. He's a shirtless beach bum. He's like the physical embodiment of a Jack Johnson song. He's like a human version of the turtle from Finding Nemo. He's a joke. But he's banging some chick and apparently that chick turns out to be Kaylee. Umm, aaaaawkward! But cute.

More flashbacks. Mal is going to go down with the shit. Oh, I meant ship. But I didn't correct him because "down with the shit" seemed funnier. Then there's the spacewhore. Great. I really don't care too much about how the spacewhore came to be on the ship. She's a soft talker. I don't like that. And Jayne gets an origin story, too. Man, he's a freaking ham. Seriously.

Mal gets saved, but the people who come to save him are kinda being dicks about it and, oops, they shoot Mal. It's a gutshot. And, believe me, I know a thing or two about gutshots, so I know it's going to hurt like hell but it takes forever to die from. Also, the song "Like A Virgin" is about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick, but that's not applicable to this particular episode of Firefly, nor will it ever be, I'm guessing.

Anyhoo, Mal gets a gun and the tables have turned ...

He gets his part, the bad people leave, and sure he's bleeding out but he has his part. Then he passes out.

When he awakens he gets a scene right out of the ending of The Wizard of Oz. Everyone's there. They came back for him. It's straight out of Oz, man, seriously. It's so cheesy. But good enough of an ending, along with a final scene where Mal buys the ship and starts all this. It's a real circle of life sort of thing.

AND CREDITS!

Well, ok. Overall I think that this was a pretty good episode. It was hard to follow, partially due to my loud, screaming baby, but I liked the flashbacks. I like seeing a different side of Mal other than the gruff but honor driven captain. I like seeing more of him. Screw everybody else. I want more Nathan Fillion.

Good stuff. I liked it.

More soon ...

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