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Saturday, November 15, 2014

Random Thoughts ...

Hi.

It's me again. Steve.

I know I haven't posted in quite a while. Still no internet. But I wanted to fill you in on what's going on in my life lately.

Sigh.

Lets do this ...

-Cold. It's getting cold. Super cold. In fact, they're saying it might snow here in Oklahoma in a day or two. And maaaaaan, I'm from Arizona. I don't do cold and I definitely don't do snow. Nope. Don't do it. I al really freaked out about this.

-I miss my parents, my mom and dad and my older brother Joe. I haven't seen them for about three years. My son barely knows them. It's sad. I just can't afford to go see them.

-Speaking of money, my family is sooooooooooooo close to getting out of our financial burdens. I mean, I'm the manager of my own department now AAAND I've gotten a nice little raise, too, as well as the 40-something hours a week I'm working now. So the financial burden s we're currently fighting with will eventually be loosening ... unfortunately, those big paychecks are going to take a while to get here. So right now we're screwed. No internet, no home phone, and a car payment that I'm struggling to meet. Man, these bills are really breaking my back here.

-For a year I was a stay at home father who would work 8-18 hours a week at his job. Now, suddenly, I'm a full time manager(ish), an employee at a highly stressful retail environment, and I'm working 40+ hours a week. My knees randomly scream in pain. My calves are constantly aching. I'm slowly running out of hits on my asthma inhaler, so I'm trying to ration them because I won't have health insurance for another two months or so. I'm just tired now. All the time. I did this job successfully for almost a decade ... but I was in my twenties them. Now I'm in my thirties and my body just isn't used to all this work. Man.

-I just lost someone very important to me. They didn't die. I just screwed up and ruined a really good thing. I was scared and stupid and so I destroyed what most days felt like the one good thing I had in my life. Now there's a hole inside me and it's a constant reminder of how much of a coward I am. And an asshole.

-Elf on the Shelf. How fucking creepy is that, amIright?

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