NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


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Friday, December 12, 2014

About Me (Smallest To Biggest) ...

-My Name is Steve.

-I am originally from Arizona.

-I am 37 years old and I currently live in Oklahoma.

-I have my own podcast that you should listen to.

-At the Oklahoma DMV I once legally changed my race to White.

-My birthday is on March 22nd, the same as Andrew Lloyd Webber and William Shatner.

-I thrive on what many have described as a dangerously high amount of popcorn and coffee.

-I used to be a cutter but I'm not anymore. It's been a number of months since I've hurt myself like that.

-I dress in suits and ties on a regular basis. As suck, I am usually way over-dressed for my job as a semi-manager at a bookstore.

-I have successfully avoided ever seeing the following movies: Swingers, The Sixth Sense, Napoleon Dynamite, and all of the Transformers movies.

-I created my own religion as a joke in 1996. But in 1997 I made it a legitimate religion and now The Church of Ed Wood boast over 4,000 followers worldwide.

-I never saw the movie Napoleon Dynamite because, being a skinny Latino man, I was sick and tired of everyone telling me that I looked like the character of Pedro.

-I have a daughter that is about to be thirteen. She is too smart and gorgeous for her own good. I also have a younger daughter that is nine and a wild child. Then there's my son Maxwell. He's three, crazy about Godzilla, and insanely cute and hyper. They are my entire life.

-I have a love/hate relationship with my race. For example, my real name is Esteban but you might as well call me Cheech because my real name acts as a big billboard that says "I am a Latino who is WELL VERSED in my own culture and takes pride in my heritage" when in fact I know next to nothing about my heritage.

-My love of movies came from my mother. She loved movies and didn't feel like letting the fact that she had a very small child stop her from going to the movies. So as a veeeery young child I saw a number of films (The Color Purple, Chariots of Fire, Poltergeist) that I probably was too young to see. But that started me.

-Part of the reason for me never learning Spanish was because of some sort of mental block in my head. I subconsciously refused to learn a lick of it. HOWEVER, another large part of the reason I never learned Spanish was because my parents used Spanish as their own secret language that they could use to be offensive and cuss around their youngest child without me knowing. My wife and I used to do the same thing with sign language that my parents did with the Spanish language.

That's going to have to be it for now.

More later ...

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