NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, January 31, 2014

Steve's Cabin Fever Week: An Explanation ...

Hey.

It's me.

So, you liking all the free movies and stuff on my blog this week? It's pretty cool, right?

Doing that, posting all these free movies this week, has reeeeeally done a great job of keeping me sane and not making me blow my brains out.

See, I've been trapped in this house of mine for over a week. It's given me a baaad case of cabin fever, it really has, and as you can see from the picture there, I'm kinda sorta going just a wee bit insane.

Let me explain ...

So I was in a wee little fender bender with a massive deer a few months back. Besides almost ripping off my bumper, the accident bent the rim of my front right side tire slightly inward. I didn't think it was a big deal.

That was, I didn't think it was a big deal until I got off of work on thursday and noticed that the tire was completely flat.

And did I also mention that our spare tire exploded a few months ago?

So then I wait until forever in 18-degree weather ("Fuck you, Al Gooooooore!") until a redneck tow truck guy finally came to get me. And did I mention that he got my name wrong?

My real and unfortunately wetback-sounding name is Esteban, not ...

Now I'm Esten Ban. Great. Thanks, white America.

So I get my car towed to Wallymarts only to learn that because my rim is bent they would NOT fix my tire. Oh, and get this, they do NOT sell rims there. Wow. Now I'm stuck at Wal-Mart. Fucking great. They were fucking worthless.

But they DID let me know about another car place that they knew about. It was just down the street and they told me that they most definitely sell rims.

So I went there. And they definitely could get me a new rip. In about a week and a half.

So, basically, I was still completely fucked.

I got Wallymarts to fill my tire and decided to see how far I could go on it. And I drove the car about two miles until I could go no further. Eventually my father in law came to help me. And by eventually I mean almost five hours. I got out of work at 3pm that day. I ended up getting back home right before 10pm.

Undaunted, we managed to borrow a spare from my brother-in-law. He had never used it. He said it was brand new.

Apparently he never borrowed to LOOK at said spare. It was most definitely used before. Way used. And it exploded on us. I had to call in sick this past saturday AND sunday.

Now slightly daunted but nevertheless fairly undaunted, we eventually found a place that could get us a rim and for a fairly low price. They said it would get here no later than friday, which is great because that means that I could go back to work on thursday.

Turns out THEY LOST THE RIM in transit!!!

What the FUCK is wrong with my life?!?!

WE ARE EXTREMELY DAUNTED HERE!!!

So I had to call in sick yesterday ass well. And the rim people say that it won't arrive later than today, which means that hopefully I will be able to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to have to miss any more work. Things are rough at work and I don't want to give them reason to lay me off. There's also the cabin fever thing. See, aside from spending some time playing at the park and taking Isabela to and picking her up from the bus stop, I have not left this house since the 23rd. I'm going crazy over here.

My wife has been working all day today. And I just learned that she's going to be staying at work later today. So she hasn't been able to check her phone and see if the rm people have called. I'm on pins and needles here. Please say the rim arrived. Please say we can fix this tire thing.

I can't miss any more work. I just can't.

Plus, and this is most important, I just want to get out of the fucking house.

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 8 ...

Sorry. I didn't post a free movie yesterday. I was too busy spending time with my family.

Today's awesome monster flick, however, will most definitely make up for lost time.

Enjoy ...

"Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (ゴジラ・モスラ・キングギドラ 大怪獣総攻撃 Gojira, Mosura, Kingu Gidora: Daikaijū Sōkōgeki, also known as GMK?) is a 2001 science fiction kaiju film directed by Shūsuke Kaneko, written by Kaneko, Keiichi Hasegawa and Masahiro Yokotani. It was the twenty-fifth film to be released in the Godzilla film series as a part of the Millennium series. Meant to be a direct sequel to the original film and set nearly 50 years after the events of the original Godzilla, this film tells the story of a revived, undead Godzilla possessed by the spirits of the Japanese soldiers that died in World War II. The undead Godzilla returns to destroy Japan. Taizo Tachibana, admiral of the Japan Self-Defense Forces, intends to attack Godzilla. Meanwhile, his daughter Yuri searches for the three guardians, Mothra, King Ghidorah and Baragon. They must stop Godzilla from obliterating the country.

The film was released in the United States on cable television on August 31, 2003 then followed with a DVD release in early 2004. The film is especially notable for the changes made to the monsters. For example, Ghidorah typically played the villain in previous Godzilla films; this film has him as a hero. In fact, Ghidorah is actually portrayed a few meters shorter than Godzilla; previous incarnations of the character were much larger, and towered over Godzilla. Mothra was also revamped. Like Ghidorah, Mothra is portrayed as being far smaller than normal and looking more like a Butterfly than a Moth. Her poison powder and hurricane wind attacks were removed, and were replaced with a burst of stingers fired from her abdomen. In addition, Mothra's fairy servants, the Shobijin, are dropped completely. The film also has the longest name of any Godzilla movie."


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 7 ...

Wow. The seventh free movie we've had here. A whole week of free awesomeness. How cool is this hookup, huh?

This one is an epic, a legend of sheer cinematic awfulness, and one with a very interesting backstory.

Enjoy ...



Yoinked fro wiki and mated with teako170.com ...

"The Fantastic Four is an unreleased low-budget feature film completed in 1994. Created to secure copyright to the property, the producers never intended it for release although the director, actors, and other participants were not informed of this fact. It was produced by low-budget specialist Roger Corman and Bernd Eichinger (who also produced another Fantastic Four movie in 2005). The film was based on the long-running comic book by Marvel Comics and featured the origin of the Fantastic Four and their first battle with the evil Doctor Doom and a mysterious Mole Man-like creature.

In 1992, Constantin Film was about to lose its option on the film rights for Fantastic Four, unless production began by December. Without the $40 million in necessary funding for a full-budget film, producer Bernd Eichinger turned to Roger Corman for help. Corman spent $1.98 million to shoot the movie. Constantin Film permitted the director, actors and others involved in the film to believe that the studio intended to release it in theaters, rather than the film being a cinematic equivalent of an ashcan copy. The cast and crew did the film for low salaries after being told that if it did not get released to theaters, it would be used as the pilot for a potential television series.

Filming lasted a month and finished in January 1993, after which post-production began. A 1993 magazine article gave a tentative release date of Labor Day weekend 1993. During that summer, trailers ran in movie theaters and on the video release of Corman's Carnosaur. The cast gave press interviews and attended comic book conventions in good faith. The studio then announced a premiere date of 1994, at the Mall of America in Minnesota. Then, in late 1993, the studio announced that the film would not be released.




Speculation quickly arose that the film had never been intended for release, but had gone into production solely as a way for Eichinger to retain rights to the characters; Marvel Comics' Stan Lee in 2005 said this was the case, insisting, 'The movie was never supposed to be shown to anybody,' and adding that the cast and crew had been left unaware. Over a decade later, Constantin Film made a $100 million Fantastic Four film and its sequel, the $130 million Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. A reboot for the film series is currently in the works for 2015.

Future Marvel movie impresario Avi Arad, back in 1993 a Marvel executive, was concerned about how the low-budget film might cheapen the Marvel brand, so he purchased the film 'for a couple of million dollars in cash' and, having not seen it, ordered all prints destroyed. Thanks to the resourcefulness of some die-hard fans, however, copies of the FF's first film have made the rounds of comic book conventions and on-line sites, like eBay, over the past decade but it has been far from a glorious existence. The movie is a videotape trapped in a netherworld of agonizing N-th generation bootlegs, a world so mortifying that not even Stan or Jack could have fabricated.

Jay Underwood, the actor who played Johnny Storm, is best known for his role as the autistic Eric Gibb in The Boy Who Could Fly. He also starred with Alan Thicke in a trilogy of films, Not Quite Human, as the teen-android Chip Carson and appeared in the 1989 comedy Uncle Buck. Michael Bailey Smith, who portrayed the rock-skinned Thing, was best noted for his role as the demon Belthazor on the series Charmed.

In a list of the '50 Top Comic Movies of All Time (...and Some So Bad You've Just Got to See Them),' Wizard Magazine ranked this film higher than Batman & Robin, Steel, Virus and Red Sonja, all of which were actually released in theaters. In 2014, a trailer for the documentary 'Doomed! The Untold Story Of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four' was released with Roger Corman, and the rest of the cast explaining what transpired with the film and its production"




I showcased this film on this blog waaaay back in 2009. But today we have an ENHANCED version, a youtube playlist (I RULE at making those) with a number of special features:


1) Classic drive in and vintage movie ads
2) A history of Marvel comics on tv and movies from 1968 to 1998 - man, they did some craaaaazy stuff... Japanese Spider-Man, Herbie the Robot, Spider-Man's "Amazing" friends. Good stuff
3) Part one of the long forgotten 1940s Captain America serial
4) A preview for the upcoming documentary 'Doomed! The Untold Story Of Roger Corman's Fantastic Four' as well as a full copy of Roger Corman's long lost Fantastic Four movie


Plus a bunch of extras. It's two and a half hours of pure retro fun for the true Marvel comics fan and it's coming at you for free becaudse, as I like reminding everybody, I am freaking awesome as hell!!!


Have fun ...


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 6 ...

Hey! It's time for another free movie. So here's another one for you.

It's an incredibly bad movie, legendary bad, and I dare you to understand a single second of this colossal shitsandwitch.

Enjoy ...

Yoinked from wikipedia, the dudes at badmovies.org, and my own bad movie knowledge ...

"Starcrash (original Italian title Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione, literally 'Stellar Clashes Beyond the Third Dimension') is an Italian 1978 science fiction film, which was also released under the English title of The Adventures of Stella Star (in the US). The screenplay was written by Luigi Cozzi (pen name Lewis Coates) and Nat Wachsberger, and Cozzi also directed the film. The cast included Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, Judd Hamilton and Robert Tessier.

It was filmed in Technicolor with Dolby sound, and has a runtime of 94 minutes. The US release is 92 minutes, and received an MPAA rating of PG. The film is generally regarded by critics as a campy Z movie with cheap special effects and a weak, derivative plot that some people find unintentionally humorous. It appeared a year after the original Star Wars and tried to re-mix the same elements, but without much success.

It has been compared to Plan 9 from Outer Space in the fact that it's a steaming pile of badly filmed unwatchable crap. But, unlike Plan 9 from Outer Space, this plot is completely unfollowable. I'm pretty sure that isn't an actual word. But that's what this film's plot is: unfollowable.

This is an amazingly bad movie. It lacks any sense of reality, is rife with ridiculous dialog, and is filled with special effects that are extraordinary in their cheesiness. It's like a high school student film done with spaceships built out of parts taken from old appliances bought at the world's most ghetto Goodwill. I have never grown tired of watching it and recommend it without reservation to anyone who enjoys other than fine films. Heck, even those who usually avoid the type of movies celebrated on this website should give it a try. It is that good at being bad.

People who love bad special effects will believe that they have died and gone to Heaven. Space is a glorious backdrop of colorful stars; it looks like somebody went nuts with a Lite Brite set (do not miss the constellation, in the shape of a J, that is visible in almost every scene). Most of the explosions, including spacecraft being destroyed, are realized through impressive displays of fireworks. It is rare for more than five minutes to pass without a flurry of laser beams criss-crossing the screen that result in fantastic showers of sparklers when they hit. Last, but not least, are the spacecraft models. The ships are insane clumps of cans, thread spools, and spare parts from plastic model kits. The result is something shaped like the 'spaceships' that are created by four-year-olds using basic LEGO blocks, except these masterpieces are painted a solid color.

The heroine, stupidly named 'Stella Star', is played by a near-naked Caroline Munro. She might be a smuggler, but she is also apparently the best pilot in the universe and looks pretty darn amazing in a black 'Leather Goddess of Phobos' outfit. The film also features Christopher Plummer and, somehow, David Hasselhoff."


"Top 10 Reasons Why Star Crash is Better Than Star Wars" from EuroCultAV.

"Shooting took over six months and was frequently brought to a halt due to financing problems. The film was originally made for American International Pictures but after seeing the final cut they declined to release it. New World Pictures stepped in instead. The 1981 science fiction film Escape from Galaxy III was also known as Starcrash II. At the time, the film was panned by critics and bombed in the theaters but later gain a cult following."

Again, this is bad. Rrrrrrrrrrrreally bad. And not at all in a good sort of way.

Brace yourselves, friends ...

My Global Warming Theory: Al Gore Is Secretly Destroying Our Planet (And Also Some Family Pictures) ...

Two things:

1) I'm going to post some family pictures.

and

2) I'm going to explain my crazed theory as to why I believe global warming is man-made.

Bear with me...

So a little less than two days ago it was a perfect 75-degree day here in Oklahoma. It was amazing. No clouds. No massive winds. Just a slight chill. Flip flops weather.

It was great.

And so, although we're all still going nuts over our new wi-fi, we all decided to spend most of the day outside. We spent the day at the park, saying hi to the horses, playing around, riding bikes, and just altogether having ourselves a cool little day together as a family.

Here are some pics ...

Beautiful weather. It was like a sunny California fall-slash-winter sort of day. Perfect.

And, again, that was a little less than two freaking days ago.

Keep that in mind.

Why? Because today it's 12-degrees with small flurries of snow outside. And with the wind chill it feels like it's zero degrees.

Seriously.

Fuck Oklahoma weather.

When will people learn that global warming is real?

When will people realize that my theory is true?

Here's my theory- Al Gore was driven to madness after losing the presidential election and decided to get his revenge against the world that shunned him by creating an evil weather machine which he now uses in his evil castle lair to cause massive weather changes which will eventually destroy the entire planet.

Really.

That's my theory and I stick to it. He's like an evil super villain now except he pretends to be a humanitarian like Lex Luthor and only I see thru his disguise and see the evil underneath. His documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, that was really his manifesto. Al Gore is evil and he is dead set on destroying us all.

Oh, and also, he has on a Dr. Doom costume on in my theory as well. But like with no mask. And he cackles an evil cackle as I stand here in 12-dehree weather freezing my mexican jumping beans off.

And that, my friends, is why every time the weather is really bad I literally shake my fist at the heavens and scream "Fuck you, Al Gooooooore!"

Monday, January 27, 2014

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 5 ...

This is the fifth movie I've posted here in less than three days and it is by far the best.

It's the over two hour long DIRECTOR'S CUT of the 1978 classic "Dawn of the Dead" and it's proceeded by and followed by my own retro movie theater craziness.

Enjoy ...

"Dawn of the Dead (also known internationally as Zombi) is a 1978 horror film written and directed by George A. Romero.[3] It was the second film made in Romero's Living Dead series, but contains no characters or settings from Night of the Living Dead, and shows in a larger scale the zombie plague's apocalyptic effects on society. In the film, a plague of unknown origin has caused the reanimation of the dead, who prey on human flesh, which subsequently causes mass hysteria. The cast features David Emge, Ken Foree, Scott Reiniger and Gaylen Ross as survivors of the outbreak who barricade themselves inside a suburban shopping mall.

Dawn of the Dead was shot over approximately four months, from late 1977 to early 1978, in the Pennsylvania cities of Pittsburgh and Monroeville. Its primary filming location was the Monroeville Mall. The film was made on a relatively modest budget estimated at $650,000, and was a significant box office success for its time, grossing an estimated $55 million worldwide. Since opening in theaters in 1978, and despite heavy gore content, reviews for the film have been nearly unanimously positive.

In addition to four official sequels, the film has spawned numerous parodies and pop culture references. A remake of the movie premiered in the United States on March 19, 2004. It was labeled a 're-imagining' of the original film's concept. In the original film, the zombies moved very slowly and were most menacing when they collected in large groups. In the remake, the zombies are fast and agile. Many admirers of the original, as well as Romero himself, protested this change, feeling that it limited the impact of the undead. In 2008, Dawn of the Dead was chosen by Empire magazine as one of The 500 Greatest Movies of All Time, along with Night of the Living Dead. It was also named as one of The Best 1000 Movies Ever Made, a list published by The New York Times"

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Random Thoughts While Watching Illegal Things ...

It's a little past 8pm here in Oklahoma and I'm watching an illegal stream of the WWE Royal Rumble pay-per-view.

It was fairly easy to find this illegal stream. You just have to know what to look for and know what's bullshit. I'm watching it on some British streaming website I've never heard of called cricfree.

I don't even watch the wrasslin' anymore. I was a huge fan of the WWE since I was a kid. I loved it ....

... but ever since they stopped showing WWE on free tv and moved to 100% cable tv shows then I've completely lost track of it. And I haven't had wi-fi until recently so it's not like i could catch up, you know? So I've been wrestle-less, really. And I realized the Royal Rumble is on, said what the hell, why not, tried to find a free stream somewhere, and found on in about seven minutes - thanks Google!

Right now I'm having a beer and biting my nails and occasionally watching this match. John Cena VS Randy Orton right now. Eh. It's pretty boring. The fan chants are more entertaining than the actual match. That's pretty sad, right?

But, in professional wrestling, things change sooooooo much that damn if I don't know half of these sumbitches. It's upsetting to me. I'm gone for just a few years and they change everything on me.

At least I know that everyone still hates John Cena.

Ya know what?

Here's two WWE-themed songs from one of my favotite musical artists and DEFINITELY my FAVORITE asian lawyer turned internet geek rapper: Mr. Adam Warrock ...

GTS (C.M. Punk)
YES! YES! YES!

Wow.

So: two days, four free movies, two free Adam Warrock songs and I think five Wesley Willis songs.

Aren't you GLAD that I finally got wi-fi?

Stay tuned, tho. There's a whole lot more free stuff right here the whole rest of the week. So keep stopping by and saying hi.

And would it kill you to comment?

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 4 ...

Here's the fourth free movie that I've posted on this blog in the last two days. I'm hooking your ass up! The least you could do is tell your friends, ya punks.

Enjoy ...

"Cinematic Titanic is a project by Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) creator and original host, Joel Hodgson. The project involves 'riffing' B-movies, in a manner similar to that of MST3K. Joining Hodgson are many of the original MST3K cast, as well as some cast members who joined later in the show's run. These include Trace Beaulieu, J. Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff and Mary Jo Pehl. It was first performed live on December 7, 2007 and first aired on December 22, 2007.

Like Mystery Science Theater 3000, the series uses black silhouettes of the riffers placed over the films, but in the case of Cinematic Titanic they sit on both sides of the screen rather than just on the lower right. Visual gags are frequent (such as Beaulieu's use of a cherry picker in The Oozing Skull), and there are two or three host segments per episode, all performed in silhouette. The actors essentially play themselves as they participate in an experiment for some unknown (possibly shadowy) corporation or military force.

The story currently provided to the cast is that there is a tear in the 'electron scaffolding' that threatens all digital media in the world. Their experience doing MST3K is key to the organization's plans. The riffing for each film is recorded to a 'nanotated disc' and inserted into a 'Time Tube' by Hodgson that descends into the frame at the end of every episode. The unknown organization is very firm on keeping the cast focused on their duties, providing no time frame for completion and requiring them to stay within the facilities at all times. They apparently have massive resources and an autonomous military force, which they use to keep the cast in line. As of now, the cast is inquisitive of the true purpose of the experiments but have no major problems as, aside from having to watch bad movies, they are well-treated.

The fact that Cinematic Titanic involves almost every MST3K writer and performer aside from Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett, who happen to be the regular cast of RiffTrax, has prompted fan speculation about a rivalry between Hodgson and Nelson surrounding the two projects, but the pair have consistently denied that such a rift exists and expressed praise for each other's projects, pointing out that they fill different niches and there is more than enough room for both of them.

The Wasp Woman (aka The Bee Girl and Insect Woman) is a science fiction film produced and directed by Roger Corman (who also plays a cameo as a doctor in the film) which was completed in 1959. To pad out the running time when the film was released to television two years later, a new prologue was added by director Jack Hill. In Jack Hill's prologue, we see a slightly mad Dr. Zinthrop fired from his job at a honey farm for experimenting with wasps.

Director Corman was clearly influenced by Kurt Neumann's 1958 film The Fly. The Wasp Woman has the head and hands of a wasp but the body of a woman—exactly the opposite of the creature shown in the film's poster (which does not appear in the film). Trying to keep ahead of schedule, Corman tried to film the climactic action scene in one take. Whenever The Wasp Woman bit one of her victims, Cabot had to have a mouthful of chocolate syrup to pass for black-and-white blood. The film's musical score, written by Fred Katz, was originally written for A Bucket of Blood. According to Mark Thomas McGee, author of 'Roger Corman: The Best of the Cheap Acts,' each time Katz was called upon to write music for Corman, Katz sold the same score as if it were new music. The score was used in a total of seven films, including The Little Shop of Horrors and Creature from the Haunted Sea"

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 3 ...

So yesterday we watched a crappy Godzilla movie, albeit a pretty awesome Cinema Insomnia version of it.

I love that show. I really do. Plus, I have been honored enough to make a few cameos on that show. Yeah. I'm a big deal, if only in my mind.

If you have Roku, be sure and watch Cinema Insomnia on the "Zom-bee" channel.

(To be honest, I only understood a few words out of that last sentence.)

So today we have an actual GOOD Godzilla movie, one of the best, and totally free.

Enjoy ...

"Destroy All Monsters (released in Japan as Charge of the Monsters (怪獣総進撃 Kaijū Sōshingeki?) is a 1968 Japanese Science fiction Kaiju film produced by Toho. The ninth entry in the original Godzilla series, it stars Akira Kubo, Jun Tazaki, Yukiko Kobayashi and Yoshio Tsuchiya. Produced in celebration as Toho's 20th kaiju film, it was also originally intended to be the final Godzilla film, and as such, was given a bigger budget than the past few productions. Set at the turn of the 20th century, the film features many of Toho's earlier monsters, eleven in all. The film was also the last to be produced by the main creators of the Godzilla character, with Ishirō Honda directing, Eiji Tsuburaya supervising the special effects (with Sadamasa Arikawa actually directing), Tomoyuki Tanaka producing, and Akira Ifukube handling the film's score. The film was released theatrically in the United States in the Spring of 1969 by American International Pictures.

American International Pictures released the film theatrically in North America in 1969. The Americanization was handled by Titan Productions (formerly Titra Studios). In the Japanese version, the credits come right after the Moonlight SY-3 blasts off at the beginning of the movie. The American version moved the credits to the end of the picture. This version has been replaced on home video and television by Toho's international version. While uncut and letterboxed, it features an English dub track produced by William Ross' Tokyo-based Frontier Enterprises in 1968.

No less than 11 monsters make an appearance in this film. Pretty sweet.

Godzilla director Gareth Edwards has expressed an interest in making a sequel to his 2014 movie that is inspired by Destroy All Monsters."

KEEP CHECKING BACK FOR MORE FREE MOVIES ALL WEEK LONG!!!

A Few "Ummmm ..." Pictures ...

KEEP CHECKING BACK TO THIS BLOG FOR FREE MOVIES ALLLLLLLLL WEEK LONG!!!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 2 ...

I've only had part one up on here for about two or three hours and yet I'm already jumping right in with YET ANOTHER free movie because that's how I roll.

... and also one of the rims on one of my tires on my car cracked and popped the tire, and I can't drive 45minutes to my work on a small, dinky little spare, so I'm pretty much on house arrest for the weekend.

Bored, is what I'm saying.

So lets all watch some movies together ...

"Wesley Willis (May 31, 1963 – August 21, 2003) was an American singer-songwriter and visual artist from Chicago. Diagnosed with chronic schizophrenia in 1989, Willis began a career as an underground singer-songwriter in the outsider music tradition, with songs featuring his bizarre, humorous and often obscene lyrics sung over the auto accompaniment feature on his Technics KN electronic keyboard.

Willis gained an enormous cult following in the 1990s, mainly upon the release of Greatest Hits in 1995 on the Alternative Tentacles label. The album was released at the urging of punk rock pioneer Jello Biafra who compiled its tracklist. In addition to a large body of solo musical work, Willis fronted his own punk rock band, the Wesley Willis Fiasco. He was also a visual artist long before his forays into music, producing hundreds of intricate, unusual, colored ink-pen drawings, most of them of Chicago streetscapes and CTA buses."

Cut the Mullet
Rock and Roll McDonalds
Feel the Power of Rock 'n Roll
They Threw Me Out of Church
Monster Voodoo Machine

"In 2008, the documentary film Wesley Willis's Joy Rides made its public debut at the Slamdance Film Festival in Park City, Utah. The film comprises footage of Willis collected by the filmmakers over a period of five years, interviews of family and friends after Willis's death, and animations created from his artwork. Wesley Willis’s Joy Rides won the Gold Hugo for the Chicago Award at the 2008 Chicago International Film Festival. It has since been shown at Noise Pop Film Festival, Hot Docs, SXSW, and The Starz Denver Film Festival."

My guest post on GUITARDEDBLOG about my personal experience meeting (and headbutting) Wesley Willis - a good read!!!

So here you go - the full Wesley Willis documentary, along with some music videos, movie previews, vintage drive-in ads, and the usual craziness.

Enjoy ...

KEEP CHECKING BACK FOR MORE FREE MOVIES ALL WEEK LONG!!!

Steve's Week Of Free Movies: Part 1 ...

I have internet at my home, FINALLY!

So let's celebrate with a bunch of free bad movies.

This next one is one of my kids' favorite.

Enjoy ...

"Godzilla Raids Again (ゴジラの逆襲 Gojira no Gyakushū?, lit. 'Godzilla's Counterattack'), is a 1955 Japanese Science fiction Kaiju film produced by Toho. Directed by Motoyoshi Oda, and featuring special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya, the film starred Hiroshi Koizumi, Setsuko Wakayama, and Minoru Chiaki. The 2nd film in the Godzilla series, this was a direct sequel quickly put into production to capitalize on the box office success of Godzilla the previous year. This was the first film in the series to feature a 'monster vs. monster' scenario, as it introduced Godzilla's first foe, the quadruped monster Anguirus. This scenario of Godzilla battling other giant monsters would become a staple for the rest of the series.

The film was released theatrically in the United States in the Summer of 1959 by Warner Brothers as Gigantis, the Fire Monster. This American version of the film was heavily edited as it not only gives Godzilla a modified roar and a new origin, but also changes his name from Godzilla to Gigantis, trying to pass the monster off as a completely new character. This move was considered a failure, and all subsequent American cuts of Godzilla films would use the character's proper name.

Gigantis was featured in season two of the show Cinema Insomnia, a nationally syndicated American television series presented by horror host Mr. Lobo where the movies that are shown are cut with retro movie ads and commercials, fake ads, and hosting segments. In the Gigantis episode, the fight scene at the end of the film features battle scenes from the Gamecube video game 'Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee' added to it and it's pretty awesome. The interview with Godzilla is filmed in front of a very Japanese-looking building in downtown Sacramento, California,

A select number of Cinema Insomnia episodes feature cameos by Reverend Steve Galindo, the founder of The Church of Ed Wood and a man with a great sense of humor and a prrrrretty thick penis."

KEEP CHECKING BACK FOR MORE FREE MOVIES ALL WEEK LONG!!!

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Lego Batman And The Future Of Video Games ...

There's a new Lego Batman movie that was just released on dvd, called "Lego Batman: The Movie – DC Super Heroes Unite."

Here's the thing, tho ...

FROM WIKIPEDIA:

"Warner Premiere released Lego Batman: The Movie – DC Super Heroes Unite, a direct-to-video animated film adaptation of the video game produced by TT Animation. The film uses cutscenes from the game as well as new scenes to replace gameplay. The film, produced and directed by Jon Burton, was released on May 21, 2013."

So, basically, they released the video game cut scenes as a movie.

I see this as the future of video games. I really do.

Releasing the Lego Batman video game as a dvd really does set an amazing precedent. What if ALL the major console video games released dvds of their cut scenes? Could this be the future? It certainly smacks of common sense. I mean, how many times have YOU seen a commercial for a game and thought it was a movie preview?

Honestly, there are a billlion games that I would never play but I would easily buy as a dvd.

I hope to see more of this sort of thing soon.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Humorously Tragic Internet Installations ...

The people from AT&T came to our house this morning at approximately 9:45am to install out phone and internet.

They left at 4pm.

It took over five hours, five hilariously painful and utterly ridiculous hours!

But despite the nonsensical Abbot and Costello routine that was the over five hour long installation, what matters is that WE FINALLY HAVE FREAKING WI-FI!!!

My two year old son is currently watching old Marvel cartoons featuring his newest obsession, Dr. Doom.

All is right with the world.

Expect a LOOOOOOOT MORE out of me now.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

This week's film is a ragingly bad flick I haven't seen since I was in high school.

Enjoy ...

"Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter is a low-budget western/horror hybrid film filmed in 1966, in which a fictionalized version of the real-life western outlaw Jesse James encounters the fictional granddaughter (the movie's title notwithstanding) of the famous Dr. Frankenstein. The film was originally released as part of a double feature with Billy the Kid vs. Dracula.

It's pretty horrible, so have fun with it."

The Peaceful Healing Power Of Anger ...

I try not to complain, especially in a retail environment.

Don't get me wrong. I complain. I am the high chief king complainer. But usually it's at home. I try never to complain when I'm at a store or a fast food place. I know how maddening retail can be and so I'm very lenient, almost TOO lenient, to the minimum wage jockey handing me my french fries.

My wife, though. Wow. she comes from a long list of complainers. My in-laws taught her everything. They have a black belt in making a fuss.

But here's the thing ....

THEY'RE RIGHT TO DO SO!

I never complain, see, but that's not a good thing! My wife and my in-laws are correct in their complaints and their anger. That's the correct way to do it.

If anything, I need to learn to make a fuss more.

My wife made a fuss recently and guess what happened? AT & T cut our ridiculous waiting time for the wi-fi we already paid for. Shortened our wait by about 8 days. Now we get wi-fi this tuesday.

That, my friends, is the peaceful healing power of anger.

Dood! That's a great phrase!

In fact, I'm already working on the self-help book. I'll make millions!

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Main Peril Of Stay At Home Fatherhood ...

I don't mind being a stay at home dad. My wife likes her job and I love having a major presence in my son's life.

It's a win-win.

But here's the thing...

I wake my two girls up between 6am and 6:15am. That's a fairly early morning. In fact, i'm lucky if I sleep in ONCE a WEEK and that is pretty lame.

My wife, however, wakes up between 3:30 and 4am for her job.

And my son, Maxwell, that crazy boy has MOMMY-DAR, very high potency mommy radar, see. He senses when him mother is trying to leave, wakes up, and freaks the fuck out.

What this boils down to is that, on any given morning, there's a 65% chance that I will have to wake up between 4am and 4:30am. Like today.

I've been up since goddamn 4am.

Look, I agreed to this whole stay at home dad business because I thought that it would be fun and relaxing.

But instead i'm doing all the laundry, all the dishes, cleaning the messy ass house, and waking up at crazy-o'clock.

If I had known that crazy early hours were a part of this house husband job, I NEVER would have accepted the position!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Remembering The Robbery ...

About four years ago I was in a robbery that freaked my shit out, gave me a bad case of post-traumatic stress disorder, and left me a bit of a changed man.

(Also, the management did shit for me. I got one or two pats on the back and a hefty psychiatric bill. The cops thanked me for my bravery, but my boss never did. FYI.)

And the closer we get to the date that all happened, Feb. 3rd, the closer I seem to get to freaking the hell out big time.

I thought I'd be over this by now.

See, there's a part of me, mind you, that's deeply PROUD of what happened. It's like that line in the song "The Impression That I Get" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones ...

The line goes:

"I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested.
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass."

And see, I DID get tested! And I passed! Two police officers and the employees who survived the incident with me all agreed that if it wasn't for my level head, bravery, and calm demeanor that night, that things no doubt would have ended violently. So I was put to the test and passed. I'm a hero. I saved lives that night.

But at the same time, the guy completely snuck right up on me. I never saw him coming. It was just like, I turn around and BAMM, guy with a gun. It just happened suddenly. It happened without warning.

And it could just as easily happened again.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

New Marvel TV Show Idea ...

Ok.

Here's the pitch ...

Due to a rupture in the space/time continuum, characters from various dimensions, both real and imaginary, start switching and colliding and overlapping with each other, causing complete and utter chaos.

Imagine, if you can, Abraham Lincoln appearing in the Discworld, Evil Mother Theresa deciding to take over Sesame Street, and Betty Page doing a striptease on the Muppet Show. Real and fiction, history and imagination, fighting against one another.

Utter chaos.

During this mish-mash, two secondary "heroes" are thrust together ...

-A massively overweight rebel starpilot about to engage in an assault against the evil Death Star

AND

-A mild mannered pig, photographer for J. Jonah Jackal and The Daily Beagle, who was accidentally bitten by a radioactive spider

... and despite their differences, these two unlikely partners decide that only THEY can discover who ripped the fabric of space and time and put everything back the way it was before it's too late.

Porkins from Star Wars and Spider-Ham from Marvel comics team up in this fall's newest television hit:

HAM AND PORK!!!

CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS!

This may be the single greatest idea I've ever had!

Let me know when you have my check ready, Hollywood! 

Monday, January 13, 2014

The Top Five Things We Watch On Television ...

Interesting.

I've mentioned this before but, in case you're new here, I maintain a small personal diary as well as this blog.

I'm just multitalented, I guess.

I decorate the book and carry it with me everywhere. I try to write in it mosts days. In fact, I have spent the last 12 years of my lufe writing in diaries like the one I have now and, as evidence of this, I am currently about to finish writing in my 12th consecutive book with #13 all ready to go.

I've been a stay at home dad now for about half a year. And during those six months, for no real reason, I have kept a fairly regular log of exactly what my family, my two year old son primarily,  has watched on television.

And this morning, for something to do, I tallied what has been watched within the last six months. And now I have a list of the top five things that are watched in my house.

As expected, it's a pretty goddamn crazy list.

5) Spongebob (various)

4) Godzilla vs. Mothra/King Kong vs. Godzilla (tie)

3) Avengers/The Three Caballeros (tie)

2) Wall-E

1) Ultraman/Mystery Science Theater 3000 (tie)

Pretty crazy, right?

My two year old watches Ultraman and Godzilla like kids his age watch Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer.

Win for me.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Bad Movie Art: Part Two ...

So recently I announced my plan to draw a whole series of scenes from my favorite bad movies.

Part one was very well received, so I just finished a faiiiirly good part two.

It's a pivotal scene from the absolutely hideous 1957 science fiction film "The Giant Claw." It's the first time that the laughably ugly and cheap monster is seen. This is a close up of the monster as it eats the army men who recently ejected from their plane.

I think the drawing looks bad. I think it looks pretty cheap and stupid.

But, then again, so does the stupid movie.

Enjoy ...