NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Watching Firefly For The First Time: "The Bank Job" ...

What time is it, boys and girls?

Time once again for some Firefly.

Well, it's been a little over a week since I decided that part of this whole "having a life of my own" adventure would include taking my first steps into the larger worlds of movies and tv shows that I have never bothered to watch, the first one being the two hour pilot of Joss Whedon's Firefly. I turned that first step into the world of the Browncoats into a pretty strong blog post that I really liked. It was well received, too. Got some really good, positive feedback about it. Good stuff.

So last week I watched the pilot. And now, here I am watching the pilot... again. But this time it's "other" pilot.

Sigh.

Ok ...

Apparently the network wasn't happy with that last pilot. And I can't say I blame them. I mean, it was good. Or perhaps "good" with finger quotes. But it wasn't a pilot. A tv show pilot explains EVERYTHING! It tells you who the characters are, what world they live in, and shows you what to expect. That last pilot didn't do that. It was a good episode of a tv show. Good acting. Pretty good special effects. It felt like a good movie at times. But it was no pilot. It just left me with so. Many. QUESTIONS!

So according to the almighty wikipedia gods, Whedon and company had about two days to write a NEW pilot which, from what I've heard from the hardcore Firefly fans I know, is a million times better than that last one. And THAT is what I'll be watching today, the supposed "good" pilot.

Ok.

Here we go ...

Ok. Riiiiiiiight off the bat, the show starts with the black guy from WKRP in Cincinnati doing narration explaining a LOT of the crap they DIDN'T explain in the last episode. Good. Thank you. That clears up a lot of things.

Zoe. The first mate. In the last post I gave her the nickname Tucson Zoe. I'm sticking with that. I don't like Tucson Zoe. She doesn't seem to have much of a character to her. I'm assuming that, eventually, her character will be fleshed out and she'll be given more to do. But right now she just seems to be the yawn-inducing Robin to a much more exciting Batman.

"Piss pot." Wow. Ok then. I'm thinking that "piss pot" could be either a space western cuss word or a pretty sick and yet slightly arousing Iron Man-themed porno featuring Pepper Pots getting pissed on. But hey, that's just how my crazy ass mind works.

"Got us some crime to be done." That's be a good t-shirt ... IF cops weren't randomly shooting people for no reason.

Summer Glau constantly looks 14 years old. It's kinda creepy.

The preacher. Shepherd Book. I love the character. I love the actor. I love everything about him. So far, out of all the characters on this thing, he's the one that I like the most, not including Kaylee, whom I have a biiiiig crush on.

I love the shots of outer space. I know it's all cgi, but ... wow. It always takes my breath away.

Bad guy criminal, the old foreign man, he hires Mal and his crew to do a train job. This guy has a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal cheesy accent. Evil Bela Lugosi voiced guy. I don't remember what his name is. They mentioned it once or twice. I'm just going to call him Evilugosi. That's a pretty solid name, actually. I like it.

... aaaaand apparently this train job looks like it is YET AGAIN set within the outskirts of Tucson, Arizona. How sad, another all Tucson planet.

Ok. I'm a lttle over halfway done with this episode and ... yeeeeeah, this episode is already a MILLION TIMES better pilot than the last two hour long whatever thing I saw last time. This explains the characters and is full of some grrrreat action scenes and some amazing acting. The little scene with Shepherd and the Companion was a beautiful little scene. And this episode seems to be full of great little scenes.

I absolutely LOVE this episode.

I really do.

The sheriff of Paradiso is in fact Mr. Huntzberger, the newspaper magnate from the last few seasons of the the show Gilmore Girls. I'm vaguely ashamed of my knowledge of this. But facts are facts. He treated poor Rory like shit. And now's he's the sheriff of outer Tucson. That's what happens when you fuck with Rory.

I'm upset that Evilugosi's bodyguard slash henchman, who is named Crow, isn't THIS Crow ...

The scene near the end where Mal kick Crow into the engine really gave me a huuuuuuge laugh. Really. I literally lol'd there.

AND THAT IS THAT!

WOW!

What a much better episode than the last one! What a difference an episode makes! Now THAT is a pilot! That episode has actual characterization, great scenes, great acting, some really good action scenes, tension, drama, humor, and a really fast pace that was missing within the dragging feet of the last episode. This one, though, is all around perfection.

WHAT A RELIEF! See, that last episode left me scratching my head and thinking that maaaaaybe I'll keep watching.

But THIS episode makes me want to watch more and more and more!

Good times.

More to come ...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Steve's Church-less Movie Of The Week ...

Get ready for some wack 1980s breakdancing, bad dudes!

Enjoy ...

Yoinked from the almighty wikipedia monster ...

"Breakin', released as Breakdance: The Movie or Break Street '84 in some countries, is a 1984 breakdancing-themed film directed by Joel Silberg. The film setting was inspired by a 1983 German documentary entitled Breakin' and Enterin' set in the Los Angeles multi-racial hip hop club Radiotron, based out of Macarthur Park in Los Angeles.

Many of the artists and dancers, including Ice-T (who makes his movie debut as a club MC) and Boogaloo Shrimp, went straight from Breakin' and Enterin' to star in Breakin'. Ice-T has stated he considers the film and his own performance in it to be 'wack'. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a backup dancer in the film.

The music score featured the hits 'Breakin'... There's No Stopping Us' by Ollie & Jerry and 'Freakshow on the Dance Floor'. Breakin' was followed by a sequel, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo which was released the same year as its predecessor.

Breakin' was the final Cannon film production released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. After Breakin' was released, MGM and Cannon Films dissolved their distribution deal, reportedly over the potentially X-Rated content in John Derek's film Bolero and MGM's then-current rule of not releasing X-Rated material theatrically, forcing Cannon to become an in-house distribution company once again. Because of the demise of the distribution deal, Breakin' is considered to be the final financially profitable film released by Cannon Films."

Monday, August 18, 2014

The Secret Thing I Did To My Daughters Room (Update) ...

Here's an update ...

So a week or two ago I posted a pretty funny post about the super top secret thing that I did to my oldest daughter's room. I got a lot of positive feedback on it and it quickly became a pretty popular post on my blog, surprisingly.

Basically, the Cliffnotes of the whole thing is I secretly snuck my own quote onto her cutesy wall o' quotes ...

I'm awesome as hell, by the way.

Anyway, I did this to her room on a Friday morning.

Emerald discovered what I had done on Monday afternoon. So three days later. I thought she'd notice it within minutes. But no. Three whole goddamn days.

And then, when I told her that I did it three days before she discovered it, she looked at me with one of those cocked head like a confused dog, you know? And, after deliberation, she finally said "Wow. Ok. Good job, daddy."

Good stuff.

... AAAAND SPEAKING OF GOOD STUFF, I will be watching the second "Pilot" episode of Firefly in a few days, so yaaaaay for more first time Firefly. I hear that the second one is the actual GOOD one, as opposed to the first one that I already saw and wrote about, so stay tuned for that. Should be fun.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

The World's Best Cover Songs (Part 2) ...

Welcome back, gang!

This, my invisible internet friends, is part two of an ongoing series of posts that I started doing a few days ago. Good stuff. Man, my blog's really been on fire recently, right? Anyway, this is going to be an ongoing list of kick ass free music, each free song I post will be an awesome ass cover song that I fucking love.

Lets do this ...

Red Hot Chili Peppers: Havannah Affair
This. Is. AMAZING! It's a song from the debut album of The Ramones. It's your typical two minute long little rocking Ramones song, but this cover is done by the Red Hot Chili Peppers for the Ramones compilation, We're a Happy Family: A Tribute to Ramones. The band performed the song heavily on their tours when they did that, and why not? They took a very Ramones sounding Ramones song and somehow turned it into a slow grooving RHCP song. It's great.

Bad Religion: A Few Of My Favorite Things
Man, Bad Religion is pretty heavy. I have a hard time getting into them, especially since I'm in my late thirties now. I mean, I'm just not the angry young man that I used to be. They're a punk band and they've been around since 1979, can you believe that? Anyway, this is another good example of a perfect cover song. They took the stupidest song and turned it into something that kicks ass. I love it. Good stuff.

Cake: War Pigs
I lived in Sacramento, California for about a decade. During that time I learned two things: that the band Cake was from Sacramento, California and that they were from there SO MUCH that they would NEVER PLAY Sacramento ever again. That's pretty awesome, I think. They wanted to escape their hometown and they did and they never, ever went back. THAT, my friends, won my respect. They're a petty great band with some pretty great songs, including a number of amazing covers. This is a great cover right here. The original is a hard rocking song, so Cake turns it completely into a Cake-sounding song and it's pretty cool. You'll probably like it.

The Rolling Stones: Under The Boardwalk
I know The Stones. I love their music and I consider myself a big, big fan. But I really know nothing about their early stuff. So I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the majority of their first few albums were chock full of pretty great cover songs of old classics, including this amazing version of Under the Boardwalk. I personally hate that song, but a cover can really make you love a song, even one you hate that sucks ass.

Marilyn Manson: This Is Halloween
I never liked Marilyn Manson. There. I said it. I never really liked Marilyn Manson. Sorry, 90's America. He can barely sing, plus his dark, moody image just seemed like peacocking to me ...


... but man, this song? It's fucking amazing! I really like the movie A Nightmare Before Christmas and I really like this song. So having a hardcore, dark, moody version of this awesome song is just brilliant. I love it. It's amazing.

Alkaline Trio: Moving Right Along
When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time alone. The white neighborhood I was lived in was filled with kids who weren't allowed to play with me and my older brother was juuuuuuuuust old enough to fucking hate my guts and make my life a living hell, so I spent a lot of time alone. My only real friend was television and movies. And I had a special place in my heart for The Muppet Show and The Muppet Movie. Cut to a decade or two ago. I'm living in California and a ton of my friends are OBSESSED with Alkaline Trio. I tried to get into them. I liked them a bit, I guess, but not a lot. I just didn't care. They were too popular in my own universe for me to like them in turn. But then ... man, then I found THIS AMAZING SONG! It's a loud, angry, kick ass version of Moving Right Along. How amazing is this? I love it! It's on my phone. I still rock out to it. It's my sad childhood and my awesome adulthood coming together in a cathartic ball of hard rock.

Juliana Hatfield: Needle In The Hay
This is an amazing cover song that came from I Saved Latin! A Tribute to Wes Anderson, which is an INCRRRRREDIBLE compilation album by American Laundromat Records. It was just released a few months ago and it is pure brilliance! The album's a tribute compilation to director Wes Anderson, my own personal obsession. It's filled with brilliant, beautiful indie rock versions of the songs from his various film soundtracks. The whole album is utterly amazing and this will NOT be the only song from there. Seriously, go out and buy this damn album. It's amazing!

The Groovie Ghoulies: The Time Warp
If you've read my previous cover song post, or if you just know me because I'm awesome and a huge sharer, then you know how much I looooooooved the band The Groovie Ghoulies. I mean, one of their songs is based on one of Criswell's predictions, for shit's sake. And this is an awesome cover of a classic Rocky Horror song. It's a classic song you know but turned into another rocking Groovie Ghoulies song. It's great.

There you go. More free music for your punk ass.

Stay tuned. More free music to come ...

Pictures From My Week ...

The kids went off to school ...

I dressed so good I felt compelled to take a selfie ...

I played with cute pet rats ...

I got a few beers and watched a movie with friends ...

Maxwell wore Bono sunglasses ...

I had a biiiiiig storytime ...

I went to a Dave and Buster's for the first time ...

I took an awesome picture of clouds ...

Oh, and I have a new favorite t-shirt. Apparently, my love of bad movies isn't enough, so now I have to have bad movie T-SHIRTS to go with it. I especially love the "grudgement day" part ...

Fun times.

Friday, August 15, 2014

My Skin Disorder ...

There's something wrong with my skin. It's bad. And finding out anything about it is nearly impossible.

Lets get serious here.

I'm going to talk to you now about my hideous new skin ... disorder? Problem? Sickness? Disease? I don't think it's a disease. I mean, it's not something I "contracted" and it's not anything I can pass. But it's there now. I have it. It's effecting my skin and messing with my life.

And it's hell.

So I've recently learned that I have a form of a skin disorder called DERMAGRAPHISM.

It sucks.

Here's the wikipedia:

"Dermatographic urticaria (also known as dermographism, dermatographism or "skin writing") is a skin disorder seen in 4–5% of the world's population and is one of the most common types of urticaria, in which the skin becomes raised and inflamed when stroked, scratched, rubbed, and sometimes even slapped."

Basically, I have super sensitive skin.

Now, I know I just said that I had dermagraphism. And that's a slight falsehood. My 9,000 year old doctor said that I had "hypergraphism," which is essentially a FORM of dermagraphism.

See, dermagraphism focuses on scratches and pressure. But hypergraphism is a much more sensitive version. Basically, the entirety of my skin goes balls out nuts over pretty much ANYTHING and/or EVERYTHING!

Sunlight, the wind, a small scratch, grass, pressure, certain substances, plastic. I mean, you name it and it probably makes my skin go crazy and painful and itchy and red.

WANT PROOF?

This was me yesterday ...

You may be asking yourself, what caused my skin to go nuts yesterday?

I was outside for about twenty minutes.

That was it.

I've been trying to find out more information about hypergraphism. Unfortunately, hypergraphism sounds an awful lot like ANOTHER disease called Hypergraphia, which is a rare behavioral condition characterized by the intense desire to write. You just have to write, like all the time. On paper, walls, toilet paper, skin. You name it.

Hypergraphism is sensitive skin. But hypergraphia sounds more exciting. And therefore, there's really nothing on the internet on hypergraphism and a shitload of stuff about hypergraphia.

Fucking bullshit.

Anyway, thanks for caring.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Watching Firefly For The First Time: Pilot ...

I like what I like. And I like it a lot.

See, I'm a man who likes and takes comfort from repetition.

I watch the same bad movies and the same television shows over and over and over again until I know every line, every beat, every plot point, in much the same way that a music lover will know every inch of their favorite song. Some people know Hotel California by heart. Me? I know Mystery Science Theater, season 3, episode 9, entitled "The Amazing Colossal Man." I know every line, every joke, every skit. I know it almost by heart, both the actual show and the movie that they watch on said show. It is my Hotel California, my Stairway to Heaven, and I love it.

I love all my shows.

For me, repetition is comfort.

Well, it's been about three months now since I have started my new adventure of actually trying to have a life of my own and it's been going pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. I'm being bolder, making friends, trying to be more of a Yes Man and say yes to everything I would normally say no to. I have friends. I have a life. Things have been good.

And so I've decided that part of this adventure will include taking my first steps into the larger worlds of movies and tv shows that I have never bothered to watch.

I'll be starting Dr. Who soon. And by soon I mean from the very beginning.

But for now I'll start here ...

It's a Thursday. It's late morning. I've been up since 5:45 am. Kids off to school, the older ones. My son woke up, had breakfast, and watched a Tinkerbell movie before going back to sleep. He's been really into Disney Fairies lately. And I'm trying to be a caring modern father and allow my son to like girlie things. Hey, he likes what he likes. What's the harm, right?

So, with everyone else asleep, I start watching Joss Whedon's 2002 show Firefly.

I've never seen this show before, not a single episode, but I am assuming I'll like it.

There's a lot of reasons why I assume this.

For starters, I really like the idea of a space western. That's a pretty great concept to me. I never liked or cared about Joss Whedon until I saw Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and fell in love. Since then I've been in absolute love with Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day, so the fact that the captain of the Serenity is Capt. Hammer makes me excited.

Plus, there's the fact that my hero and uber man crush Adam Warrock has made some pretty spectacular Firefly music for free on his blog, including one of my favorite songs right now, so, and I know this might be a sign that I am waaaaaaaay too obsessed with Adam Warrock, but any show this man loves is a show that I know I could love if I just gave it a chance. That's one of the main reasons why Dr. Who and Firefly are topping my list of shows I need to try and watch.

GAWD I'm a nerd.

Ok.

Let's do this ...

Ok. So ...

Trying to watch the pilot of Firefly here.

Wow. This pilot is rough. It's hard to get through.

No offense, Browncoat fans, but there's so much here. Watching this is like taking your first swim not in a kiddie pool but in the goddamn ocean. I thought that the pilots of tv shows gradually introduced you to the characters and the world that it's introducing. But this damn thing starts out straight from the gate with an epic cast and a huge backstory and what seems like Stephen King-sized novels of lush mythology. It starts AS IF you already KNOW all the backstory, all the mythology. It just starts. And so I guess I'm just supposed to guess it all or struggle to play catchup as it goes.

Shit. This is hard.

I shouldn't have to read wikipedia just to understand what a tv show is about.

Plus, you rrrrrrrreally have to pay attention to get what the hell is going on here. This show asks for, nay, violently DEMANDS your complete and undivided attention throughout the program. Shit, I have to pause the thing just to type a single sentence. This show, it's a full story, really rich with details and lush in its script and its characters. I'm not used to that. I could be on Facebook and Twitter and text people and STILL watch Sharknado. But you definitely can't do that with Firefly.

Kaylee the engineer, played by someone I've never heard of named Jewel Staite. Crush. Huge. I'm all in the loves with her.

This is quite an impressive cast. Besides Capt. Hammer there's Alan Tudyk, whom I love, there's Adam Baldwin, whom I recognize from my very brief obsession with the show Chuck, there's Ron Glass from freaking Barney Miller (and if you don't know what that is then DAMN you're young), and I recognize Carlos Jacott from Grosse Pointe Blank, among other things.

Damn good cast. Good people here. Good stuff.

Umm ...

AGAIN, FIREFLY? AGAIN? You keep throwing me curveballs. What is the Alliance and what the hell is a Reaver? Why won't you explain things to me, Firefly? You keep assuming that I am well versed in this fictional world that you exist in. I'm not. Why do you think that I am? Was I supposed to study the mythology of the show before watching the show? Was there homework that I missed out on somehow? Seriously, Joss Whedon! What the hell!

That whole "Kaylee's dead" thing? Really fooled me.

And this planet that they land on near the end to make their deal? I think it's called Whitefall? It looks an awful lot like the outskirts of Tucson, Arizona to me. That's gotta be an awful planet to live in, an entire planet of Tucson. That's Hell to me right there.

Tucson Sucks: The Blog

Corporal Zoe just got shot on Planet Tucson. I hope she stays dead. I just don't like her. She doesn't seem to have a lot going for her. She seems bland to me. Maybe a few episodes in I'll change my mind but right now there's no characterization, no emotion, no nothing. She's just a blank slate.

She lived. Damn.

Now the Reavers are coming. And apparently I'm supposed to know what they are. This show just keeps assuming I am well versed in their mythology when I'm not. And since they keep mentioning the Reavers without doing any explaining, then I'm picturing like the Dementors from Harry Potter but they're wearing cowboy hats on top of their spooky hoods. It's a comforting image to me.

Seriously, why aren't you explaining things to me, Firefly? All they've said by way of explanation about these mysterious Reavers is "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order." Sooooo ... the Reavers are mysterious Alliance-backed rape monsters? Okay then ... ???

Aaaaand end credits.

This show assumes so much about me, the viewer, that I wouldn't be surprised if the show didn't think I was married to it.

That's a joke. About marriage. Because ... aww, nevermind.

I still have a lot of unanswered questions.

Like, what was the battle at the beginning all about, who were the bad guys they were fighting against, what is the Allance, what are the Reavers, and why does Nathan Fillon like freaking sixteen years old in this show, like, seriously, he looks so babyfaced it's like his balls just dropped. What the hell, man?

And, wait ... soooo, according to wikipedia, the show had TWO pilots? What the hell, Firefly? Why do you keep insisting on fucking with me?

But I have to say, this show has intrigued me. The characterization is pretty amazing, the acting is stellar (except for who I will now be calling "Tucson" Zoe), and the concept is quite interesting. I don't know where this show is going. And I like that. Most shows really telegraph what's going to happen. This one, though, seems to have an overall plot that's about as up in the air as the ship they fly in. And I am interested in sticking this one out and seeing where they go.

Ok. You got me.

I'm watching this now.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The World's Best Song Covers (Part 1) ...

That's the picture I chose for this post. It's Spider-Man when he was infused with a supernatural cosmic power known as Captain Universe in order to defeat a massive menace from space. This "Cosmic" Spider-Man could fly and shoot lasers from his hands. And he was so strong that he beat up the Incredible Hulk like he was a little girl. It's sort of a comic book mash-up. It's a character you love like you've never seen him before.

So the picture fits. Kind of.

Anyway, this is part one in an ongoing series of posts that I'm going to start doing now. It's going to be an ongoing list of free music and each free song I post will be an awesome cover.

I just looooove cover songs. I really like when a cover totally reinvents a classic. And that's JUST what these songs here are.

Plus, hey, free music.

So lets do this ...

Frost Giants: Someone Like You
A Marvel name right there. Thor. Frost Giants. What an awesome ass name, right? And a metal cover of Adele's touching ballad? How cool is that? But what's really amazing about this song is how much it works. They get a heartwarming tearjerker and turn it into an empowering metal song. And THAT is the reinvention I was talking about right there. Great damn song.

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: Desperado
Me First is, really, the world's best cover band. They get songs you know and punk them up. And in doing so they also expose the vanity and falseness in the world of punk. I mean, the song Desperado isn't punk. But, as Me First has constantly shown, speed up anything and sing it loud and you've got instant punk. They really make this song rock.

The Groovie Ghoulies: I Don't Like Mondays
Damn I miss them. The Groovie Ghoulies were a three piece monster themed punk band from Sacramento, California and they were my favorite band. Their music had a very happy go lucky sixties vibe to it. Their songs would regularly feature vampires, Godzilla, monsters, Bigfoot, The Blob, and even beasts with five hands. They also did awesome covers here and there. This one is kind of a rare one, off of one of their LPs, I believe. Good song. I miss this band. A lot.

Richard Cheese: Friday
The king of cheese, Richard Cheese is the world's greatest lounge singer. His covers are all perfect. He can swing-a-fy anything, as evident by this slowed down version of that annoying ass Rebecca Black song that was all over youtube a number of years ago. It says a lot when a cover actually makes you LIKE the original song, as evident here. It's a shitty song, but Mr. Cheese makes it great. Quite a remarkable feat, don't you think?

Barenaked Ladies: Fight the Power
I never liked Barenaked Ladies. At first. Then I saw them live. From that point on I was a fan. They're an amazing group, full of brash fun interspersed with touching ballads. Good music. And this cover is an amazing representation of that brash sense of fun. A group of white Canadian musicians laying down a funky rock version of a Public Enemy classic. How amazing is that?

Dread Zeppelin: Heartbreaker (At The End of Lonely Street)
Ok. So. Thiiiiiis is an odd one. So try to follow me here, alright? Dread Zeppelin is a Led Zeppelin cover band ... but they do reggae versions ... with an Elvis impersonator as a lead singer. Sooooo .. reggae Zeppelin covers ... sung by Elvis. That's Dread Zeppelin. And if you think that's awesome, then you are seriously going to loooooooooooove this track!

Kepi: Kiss The Girl
Yeah. So remember how I said a few songs back that The Groovie Ghoulies were my favorite band and I missed them terribly? Well, the good news is that the lead singer, frontman, and all around genius behind the band, Kepi Ghoulie, is still kicking, cranking out his own brand of upbeat punk with numerous solo albums and side projects. Here's a rare acoustic cover from him where he sings this song from Disney's "The Little Mermaid."

The Ramones: Somebody To Love
Yes, The Ramones are an amazing punk band and their music is legendary and blah blah blah. Everybody already knows that, right? Their music is great. But I never hear anybody talk about how amazing their cover songs were, too. And that's surprising to be because they did a LOT of covers in their time. A LOT! And here's one of my personal favorites. This song was already pretty rocking, but only Joey Ramone could rock it harder, you know? Good stuff.

There. Free music for your punk ass.

Stay tuned. There's more to come ...

Monday, August 11, 2014

Vaguely Cryptic Bits Of Random Nonsense ...

JUST SOME THOUGHTS:

-Relationships are hard. Really, really hard. They are work! I mean, you're up, you're down. Relationships are just incredibly hard. And dating is hard. And arguments are hard, especially for me. I don't do arguments. I mean GAAAAWD! I don't know how other people do it.

-There are people out there that, despite the fact that they take it easy and try to relax at work, they still work twice as hard as everyone else that they work with. Now, I'm not saying that I AM one of those people. I'm just making conversation here. But I WILL say that people LIKE THAT should DEFINITELY get more hours. And a raise.

-My two daughters have been off of school for the whole summer. And they've been seriously annoying the crap out of me. Bela and Emerald are constantly arguing and fighting with each other, not to mention being loud and being a constant source of migraines for me. But they're going to be starting school this wednesday ... and I'm reeeeeally going to miss the shit out of them. And that makes me feel really guilty. But, he, whatever, I'll deal with it.

-So I'm working more. I'm working a loooooooooot more. My legs and feet are killing me. In fact, sometimes I come home and I'm so sore that I just want to cry. It's a bit sad. I'm not the twentysomething young guy who works 39-42 hours a week anymore. I'm a late thirtysomething stay at home dad whose legs hurt. But, hey, trying not to complain here. I mean, money is money, right?

-Sex. I like it. And, not to brag, I'm prrrrrrrrrrretty damn good at it, too.

-I reeeeeally want to go back to the drive-in. Soon. I just love drive-ins and watching movies under the stars and just the whole experience. My tastes are old. Really. I love bad movies, dressing up in suits and ties, watching old horror movies, Frank Sinatra music, going to the drive-in, going on long road trips. I sometimes think that I'm an old soul, or perhaps I was just meant to be born during another time. I don't know.

-The picture above is a series of shelves in the house of a friend of mine, What an awesomely odd assortment of items: box of condoms, string, butterfly, machete, small pocket knife, nightlite, small package of friend seaweed, a penny, and shoe polish...

... and THAT, my friends, is an EXACT REPRESENTATION of the crazy random crap my mom would put on a shopping list, minus the condoms of course.

"Hey Stevie, get me cat food, double A batteries, toilet paper, and a box of raisins."

Crrrrrrazy.

Anyway, more soon. I promise ...