NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Christmas 2014 Pictures ...

2014: A Retrospective ...

It's New Year's Eve. I'm at Auntie and Uncle's house. And I figured what a better time to take stock of my year and what's happened to me.

Ready?

Then lets do this ...

First off, I have my own podcast called "The Pope on Film" that's just a whole bunch of fun.

I just recorded episode 13 and it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself. We talk at length about movies, good and bad, new and old, and along the way we talk about whatever pops into our heads like Mel Gibson and racism and 9/11 and porn. It's fun and worth a listen and the simple fact that I have my own podcast has really brightened up my self esteem, you know? I have my own freaking podcast! How freaking cool is that?

Work is good.

I got a promotion and a raise and now I'm working a full week's worth of work every week. It's difficult to have gone on for so long without working regularly to then just jump in and suddenly do a bajillion hours of work. It's hard as hell and my legs and knees are trading off being jello, but it feels SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD to be back in charge of my own department again. It really does feel damn good to be back in the swing of things.

My personal life is good.

I have friends. I don't think I could have said this a year ago but yes. I have friends. I have people who care about me. I have a bit of a life. That is definitely different from the me before. I have people that hang out with me and want to spend time with me and go to movies with me and actually want to hear me and my crazy ass stories. I have a life. That is awesome.

I mean, sure there's problems.

Money. Bills. Time. There's no time. I miss my kids. I miss my parents. My storytimes are suffering from bad weather. My relationship with Natasha is ... a constantly frustrating enigma. Plus the kids are just constantly fighting with each other, meaning I never get any silence in my house. Emerald is grounded and so she's throwing the biggest shitfit ever about it. No internet in my house. It's all just horrible. And the weather. THE WEATHER! IT SUUUUUUUUCKS!!!

But things are getting better for me.

And that's not bad.

Monday, December 29, 2014

The Definition Of "Rough Christmas" ...

I woke up early and worked late Christmas Eve.

Then I stayed up until 3:30am wrapping presents (and getting drunk).

Then the kids woke me up at 8am on Christmas Day.

Then, after the unwrapping, I stayed awake playing with the kids all day.

Then we went to the in-laws where they had an unusually late Christmas dinner and more unwrapping. We didn't get home until after 11pm. I went to bed, finally, around 11:45pm.

Then I woke up at 5am the day after Christmas so that I could be to work super early and do, basically, everything.

This was my Christmas. It is the very DEFINITION of a rough Christmas.

I am JUST NOW getting back to normal.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Are You Listening ...

Hey!

It's me.

Hey, man, I should be getting internet back on in my house in a few weeks, so prrrrrrrretty soon this blog will be back to normal, so don't worry about all that. This place will be up and kicking soon enough.

Meanwhile, however, I have a question for you ...

ARE YOU LISTENING TO MY AWESOME ASS PODCAST?!?!

If you're not, then you should.

It's called "The Pope On Film" and it's funny as hell. It's on iTunes. And it has it's own Facebook page, so like it there as well. It's also available on YouTube if you don't do the iTunes thing.

Do me a solid and go check it out.

It's good stuff.

Friday, December 12, 2014

About Me (Smallest To Biggest) ...

-My Name is Steve.

-I am originally from Arizona.

-I am 37 years old and I currently live in Oklahoma.

-I have my own podcast that you should listen to.

-At the Oklahoma DMV I once legally changed my race to White.

-My birthday is on March 22nd, the same as Andrew Lloyd Webber and William Shatner.

-I thrive on what many have described as a dangerously high amount of popcorn and coffee.

-I used to be a cutter but I'm not anymore. It's been a number of months since I've hurt myself like that.

-I dress in suits and ties on a regular basis. As suck, I am usually way over-dressed for my job as a semi-manager at a bookstore.

-I have successfully avoided ever seeing the following movies: Swingers, The Sixth Sense, Napoleon Dynamite, and all of the Transformers movies.

-I created my own religion as a joke in 1996. But in 1997 I made it a legitimate religion and now The Church of Ed Wood boast over 4,000 followers worldwide.

-I never saw the movie Napoleon Dynamite because, being a skinny Latino man, I was sick and tired of everyone telling me that I looked like the character of Pedro.

-I have a daughter that is about to be thirteen. She is too smart and gorgeous for her own good. I also have a younger daughter that is nine and a wild child. Then there's my son Maxwell. He's three, crazy about Godzilla, and insanely cute and hyper. They are my entire life.

-I have a love/hate relationship with my race. For example, my real name is Esteban but you might as well call me Cheech because my real name acts as a big billboard that says "I am a Latino who is WELL VERSED in my own culture and takes pride in my heritage" when in fact I know next to nothing about my heritage.

-My love of movies came from my mother. She loved movies and didn't feel like letting the fact that she had a very small child stop her from going to the movies. So as a veeeery young child I saw a number of films (The Color Purple, Chariots of Fire, Poltergeist) that I probably was too young to see. But that started me.

-Part of the reason for me never learning Spanish was because of some sort of mental block in my head. I subconsciously refused to learn a lick of it. HOWEVER, another large part of the reason I never learned Spanish was because my parents used Spanish as their own secret language that they could use to be offensive and cuss around their youngest child without me knowing. My wife and I used to do the same thing with sign language that my parents did with the Spanish language.

That's going to have to be it for now.

More later ...