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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Dear Republicans: YOU WERE RIGHT ...

DEAR REPUBLICANS,

YOU WERE RIGHT!

ABOUT ALL OF IT!

There's no doubt now that the evil and sinister Obama is about to take away all of your guns, lock up all the Christians, institute his evil death panels, and make himself an emperor! You were right and we dumb liberals were wrong. Why didn't we take your angry rants seriously? Why didn't we realize all the false flags? Why did we believe in science and book learnin'? Why were we so dumb as to treat Muslims like normal people?

WHY DIDN'T WE ALL TAKE JADE HELM and THE WISDOM OF ALEX JONES SERIOUSLY?!?!

It's already too late for us dumb, evil liberals, so you republicans go out and SAVE YOURSELVES!!!

Get all of your guns and your bug out kits and your Jim Bakker survival food buckets and your survivalist gold and go hide in your bunkers. Seal them tight, turn off all your electronics and your cell phones, and just wait it out.

SAVE YOURSELVES! YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE FOR THE FUTURE!

The earth will no doubt fall into a hellish nightscape of post-apocalyptic terror, so you should stay hidden in your bunkers until AT LEAST NOVEMBER 9TH! That's how long it will take us dumb, stupid, Satan-loving liberals to overthrow the evil empire. So whatever you do, don't come out of your freedom bunkers before November 9th.

And don't worry about us evil liberals, evil gun haters, evil atheists, and evil lgbtq supporters.

Well try and make it ... somehow.

The Pope on Film Podcast
The Church of Ed Wood

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I came here to tear you a new one and ended up laughing my butt off. Thank you, good sir