We ended up at our local K-Mart.
And Jesus H. Christ what a hideous place this is!
Honestly, it's like a bad dream. It's like the setting of a 1980s horror movie in there. It looks like a cheesy haunted house but it's open year round. It's like no renovations have happened there since the 90s. It's like a strange time warp. I felt like I was walking into Stephen King's book 11/22/63 and the doors would open and it would be the sixties again.
For starters, the signage is a perfect representation of what you'll find inside...
The parking lot looked soooooooooooooo crappy. It looked like the parking lot hosts demolition derbies during the weekends. Like, how in the world do you allow your parking lot to look THIS bad, guys?
The store constantly plays 80s music. Nonstop cheesy 80s music. It's like they refuse to play any music other than the kind that came from the era in which they were relevant as a company.
The floors looked like shit. All the floor. The entirety of the floor area inside the K-Mart. There were cracks and bumps and spill stains everywhere. I felt disgusted every time I looked at the ground. Really not cool, guys. I only took a few pictures but seriously, these sorts of images were everywhere.
The place wasn't packed because, well, K-Mart. At times it felt like an old folks home. At one point I spotted an old foreign man trying on toddler t-shirts. I called my oldest daughters and we just stood at a distance and watched a 65 year old man try on a size 5T Kung Fu Panda shirt and then the struggle he had, struggling for a ridiculous amount of time trying to take it off. It was something akin to spotting a massive grizzly bear in the wild. It was both awe inspiring and frightening.
I also spotted a graphically DISTURBING Walking Dead coloring book stocked in the kids section ...
That pissed me off. Like, for reals. Way to drop the fucking ball, guys. It's like you're not even trying.
Their electronics department looked abandoned. There were empty boxes everywhere. A lot of the shelves were empty. And, strangest thing, my wife noticed a very small pair of kitchen utensils on the counter for no reason. I felt like I was in some sort of online mystery solving game and I had to solve a crime based on this very strange picture ...
And another thing!
The majority of their signage had post-it notes, as if they cared more about remembering which sign is which as opposed to allowing customers to actually read any of the signs ...
And the ABSOLUTE LAST STRAW for me was this old, outdated, and racially offensive t-shirt they carried ...
DRINKO DE MAYO?!?!
First off, it was June 11th when I took that picture! So why are you still selling Cinco De Mayo crap? And also, Cinco De Mayo is a holiday meant to commemorate the Mexican Army's victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla and you are selling clothing that takes this important holiday and turns it into an excuse for white rednecks to drink.
Fuck you, K-Mart.