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Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Horrors Of The Shawnee, Oklahoma K-Mart ...

Yesterday we wanted to go somewhere where we could walk around, maybe do some laps in the hopes that all the movement could kick start the labor process.

We ended up at our local K-Mart.

And Jesus H. Christ what a hideous place this is!

Honestly, it's like a bad dream. It's like the setting of a 1980s horror movie in there. It looks like a cheesy haunted house but it's open year round. It's like no renovations have happened there since the 90s. It's like a strange time warp. I felt like I was walking into Stephen King's book 11/22/63 and the doors would open and it would be the sixties again.

For starters, the signage is a perfect representation of what you'll find inside...

The parking lot looked soooooooooooooo crappy. It looked like the parking lot hosts demolition derbies during the weekends. Like, how in the world do you allow your parking lot to look THIS bad, guys?

The store constantly plays 80s music. Nonstop cheesy 80s music. It's like they refuse to play any music other than the kind that came from the era in which they were relevant as a company.

The floors looked like shit. All the floor. The entirety of the floor area inside the K-Mart. There were cracks and bumps and spill stains everywhere. I felt disgusted every time I looked at the ground. Really not cool, guys. I only took a few pictures but seriously, these sorts of images were everywhere.

The place wasn't packed because, well, K-Mart. At times it felt like an old folks home. At one point I spotted an old foreign man trying on toddler t-shirts. I called my oldest daughters and we just stood at a distance and watched a 65 year old man try on a size 5T Kung Fu Panda shirt and then the struggle he had, struggling for a ridiculous amount of time trying to take it off. It was something akin to spotting a massive grizzly bear in the wild. It was both awe inspiring and frightening.

I also spotted a graphically DISTURBING Walking Dead coloring book stocked in the kids section ...

That pissed me off. Like, for reals. Way to drop the fucking ball, guys. It's like you're not even trying.

Their electronics department looked abandoned. There were empty boxes everywhere. A lot of the shelves were empty. And, strangest thing, my wife noticed a very small pair of kitchen utensils on the counter for no reason. I felt like I was in some sort of online mystery solving game and I had to solve a crime based on this very strange picture ...

And another thing!

The majority of their signage had post-it notes, as if they cared more about remembering which sign is which as opposed to allowing customers to actually read any of the signs ...

And the ABSOLUTE LAST STRAW for me was this old, outdated, and racially offensive t-shirt they carried ...

DRINKO DE MAYO?!?!

First off, it was June 11th when I took that picture! So why are you still selling Cinco De Mayo crap? And also, Cinco De Mayo is a holiday meant to commemorate the Mexican Army's victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla and you are selling clothing that takes this important holiday and turns it into an excuse for white rednecks to drink.

Seriously.

Fuck you, K-Mart.

22 comments:

NEVEN3088 said...

This article is pointless. U can find the same stuff at Walmart.

Anonymous said...

So right my first job when i was 17 was that kmart im now 33 it looked like that then lol crazy how it never changed

Robert Jensen said...

I think I see my car in one of your pictures. Anywho, can you really blame them for the gravity of the shit rolling downhill. C'mon we all know the scale. Real specialty store > Vague specialty store > Target > Walmart > K-Mart = Dollar store.

Anonymous said...

I used to work there at the good area. I don't blame u . This place is stupid and not organization and messy and doesn't keep updated with anything and the people that works there are rude and everything. And the boss is a bitch

Anonymous said...

Try buying something there. The credit card machines might work, but probably not.

Anonymous said...

HA! This is hilfreakinglarious! Good job, Steve, altho sorry you had to go to a Kmart??? Go to Walmart instead!

Jose Galindo said...

Really entertaining and fun!

Anonymous said...

lol. you're "racially offensive" comment followed by a racially offensive comment about a different race. #eyeroll

Anonymous said...

I was just saying the other day that Kmart sucks

Reverend Steve said...

Wow, I'm deleting a lot of comments from very angry white people all butthurt that I call them rednecks. Seriously, white privileged much, guys?

Jean said...

I think you should have left them in so the rest of us could make fun of them.....

Anonymous said...

Was wondering why the big K sign was removed and replaced with the sign that was there when the place 1st opened! Looks like they are trying to repair the parking lot. Place has went to crap in the last couple years a

Anonymous said...

I agree with a lot of what is said here and that store is way higher than Walmart or Dollar General. However I still use it. The parking lot is under construction and they are actually working to fix it. As for the inside can't argue with the way it looks however the manager is not a bitch I find her to be very helpful and kind and none of the workers there have ever been rude to me, in fact they have always been very helpful. They probably don't renovate because it is one of the only ones left probably will eventually shut the doors themselves.

Reverend Steve said...

One person just left a reeeeeaaaaallllly angry comment that this post was a "stupid freaking wast of my time" and a bunch of other negative stuff, like, I tied him down and forced him to read my blog.

Stupid asstaco.

Kim Troxell said...

I'm from Shawnee but now reside in Tulsa. That Kmart is exactly how you described it now as it was the whole 30+ yrs I lived there. It's a shithole! Jus sayin!

Unknown said...

If your work skills are the same as your grammer no wonder yall think it sucks so bad maybe you should get a job with the rest of the retards around here

Reverend Steve said...

Wow, SOMEONE is a bitter employee!

"If your work skills are the same as your grammer"

Spelled grammar wrong, genius.

Anonymous said...

Why would you delete comments that disagree with your article. Awe you don't like to be judged. Your not awesome Steve your not a man of God. Kindly remove your title. Steve is a blogger that will kick a person when they are down. Your just mean.

Reverend Steve said...

How's about this for the word of God: Fuck off.

Anonymous said...

Its not "white privilege" its called not being a fucking hypocrite. Dumbass

Erica Palmer said...

Honestly,im laughing because i thought the whole time i was reading this it was leading to a joke. Dont go if you dont like, no need to bash a buisness. Obviously its an old store, but it still employees people, which helps the economy, and honestly they have awesome deals. The whole walking dead thing, that was a lazy customer. This is absolutely silly. They offer free lay a way at christmas, it helps alot of children be able to have one. You could say the same thing about a lot of places around Shawnee. Wal mart is crawling with meth heads all hours of the day, but because they have a modern looking store , it makes them better? Hahah, lady this is a good example of society and their materialism attitudes and taking genuine right out of us. Dont like it, dont go.. no need to to bash!

Kristin Williams said...

Everything is poorly placed. , but the works try , management not so much, only to ur face.