NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest pbskids.org or barbie.com, you wuss!


SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE TO LISTEN TO MY HILARIOUS AND WILDLY OFFENSIVE PODCAST!

Friday, June 29, 2018

Script for the podcast ...

STEVE (Padme): When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat. See that island? We used to swim there every day. I love the water.

BUNNY (Anakin): I do too. I guess it comes from growing up on a desert planet.

STEVE: We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us... and try to guess the names of the birds singing.

BUNNY: I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything’s soft... and smooth...

(THEY BOTH GET MORE AND MORE SING SONG LOVEY LOVEY ROMANCE LIKE)

STEVE: There was a very old man who lived on the island. He used to make glass out of sand - and vases and necklaces out of the glass. They were magical.

BUNNY: Everything here is magical.

STEVE: You could look into the glass and see the water. The way it ripples and moves. It looked so real...but it wasn’t.

BUNNY: Sometimes, when you believe something to be real, it becomes real. Real enough, anyway...

STEVE: I used to think if you looked too deeply into glass, you would lose yourself.

BUNNY: I think it's true...

(KISS SOUND EFFECTS)

AND SCENE!

Monday, February 26, 2018

Fired ...

I was recently fired after 17 and a half years.

The company ruthlessly fired over 1,800 of their most senior employees without so much as a warning.

Weeks before, my store manager literally told me that I would be employed forever. "I own your soul until the day you die, Steve" she said. And days later, corporate made her fire me.

I'm trying to land on my feet. I'm doing storytimes online and I'm setting up live events. I just can't believe that they would screw me like that.

Anyway, here are some pictures from some of my last corporate storytimes ...

So there's that.

Anyways, here's some free music ...

Marian Hill: Down
Seth Sentry: Campfire
The Groovie Ghoulies: Deviltown
Courtney Barnett: Scotty Says
Childish Gambino: Riot
Hadestown: When The Chips Are Down
Faith No More: Motherfucker
Rob Base and DJ Ez Rock: It Takes Two
The Jimi Hendrix Experience: Fire

Be good, people.