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Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Haven't gone out for about a week, maybe more, and I haven't felt better.

MOOD: headachesneezyhappy

BACKGROUND: Sewing with Nancy "Fake Girl"

Been going to work and all that, doing my work,my manager thing, being happy Steve, cheering everyone up and all that good stuff that gets me my paychecks. But when work is done, I get my ass home and stay home, read comic books, watch television, work out, talk on the phone. Staying in for a change. Invited to some big rave on the bay where my boy Nate was going to be spinning and I just stayed home. Invited to some big house party in Elk Grove and I just stayed home. Invited to hang out with and drool around those Papa Roach boys and stayed home instead.

Different sort of feeling, holding all that public appearance partying inside and just staying home watching television. I mean, I haven't really stayed in for a while. I'm not a staying home sort of guy. Even without drinking and smoking (and I'm somewhere around day 48 of my sobriety now, thank you) I've been a pretty popular guy around this town.

But now I'm just staying in and feeling much better about myself. For starters I really have a lot of monies in my wallet right now, all the money I've been saving, making my fragile male ego feel much better.

Tell you, too, my relationship with my mother has really evolved. Thinking back, it seems like a really sad sort of thing, me and Joe leaving our poor mother alone in this house almost every night while we went out and got in a plethora of wacky adventures. Now that it's been the two of us hanging out and watching television together, we've become really good friends together in a way that I never thought we'd be ever.

Where's my brother in all this?

Well, his sobriety lasted about two, three weeks and now he's back to his lecherous drunken bastard self, which is good because the words Joe and sober don't really match in a perfect universe. And me and Tere haven't really been seeing him escape the cavernous shell of his side of the house lately. He's the house sasquatch. Looks like him and his girlfriend of over a year have broken up again, then gotten back together, then broken up, all within this past week.

I love my brother but I'm slowly going beyond the bounds of giving a damm. Sorry.

Speaking of fragile male ego, Bobbie got back together with her old boyfriend. Like no one in the world expected that to happen, right? I mean, come on. It's my theory that five-foot-nine natural blonde twenty-three year olds with a winning personality and DD tits eventually get back together with their old boyfriends no matter what the situation and that's the way it is, especially for me, not that I ever really expected anything romancewise with this woman. We were just really good friends that occasionally smoked out.

Am I usually this negative regarding women? Am I even being negative at all?

I don't know. It's just that I don't think that I'm necessarily negative towards women insomuch as I'm extremely negative in regards to my chances with women.

Not that that's any of my business right now. I'm in love with a young girl. Her name is Isis. I'm falling heaad over heels with this woman. Go over and see her whenever I can. We dance together. We play games with each other. Most of the times though we just sit on the couch and watch television, arms around each other, cuddling. And when she looks into my eyes and smiles, I can see somewhere in that beautiful head of hers that she really does love me back.

Okay, she's only about two, three years old, but my feelings remain the same. Her mom's a nice piece of ass, too. But it's an incredibly surreal feeling for me, subconscious feelings almost fatherly towards Collyne's little baby everytime I come over and see her face light up. I love this woman, this little Isis, the new woman in my life. And sometimes when we're playing and laughing and having fun, she'll give me her blanket to hold. She doesn't do that to anyone but me.

And sometimes off the corner of my eyes I'll catch Collyne smiling, almost crying, so happy.

My two girls.

Think I'll go and see the two of them today. It's wednesday, and you know what that means ... the new comic books are in! Mondays (Raw), Wednesdays (new comic books), Thursdays (Smackdown), and Fridays (payday) are my favorite days of the week. Absolutely stunning. And while I'm here, the worst days are Sundays (jesus) and Saturdays (real reason).

But wednesdays, day off wednesdays, are the bestest most super days of all.

Wednesdays mean I take a shower, hop in my Caddy, and drive around to my two comic book hook ups, maybe stop by at Weinetschitzabadbutcheapkraut foodtypeplace and get me some good food, maybe go to Borders and buy a cheap DVD and a coffee, then stare at the one cute chick that works there with the huge tits. Maybe stop at the record store or the toy store. Maybe stop at the Video Clearance Center where I get all my videos or maybe stop at the Tower Books where I get my porn.

Then I get to go down to Marconi and play with my girls. Nothing better than that.

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