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Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Just talked to somebody on the phone.

MOOD: angrysad

BACKGROUND: Audiovent "Dirty Sexy Knights in Paris"

Called figuring that, just like what's happened the past ten times I've called in the past week, that I'd get no answer or I'd get the answering machine. Instead, I got a girl who apparently didn't recognize my voice because I snuck through their security and talked to her.

I swear, when she realized that it was me on the phone, she acted like I had just told her that her mother died. I mean, what did I do other than cheer her up and make her smile and tell her how great she was, huh? How come I'm the nicest, kindest, and most single man on earth? Maybe this is my bitterness talking, but women are attracted to power, to money, to security, and to assholes and not to quiet, sensitive guys like me.

It's not like I was a player to her or an asshole to her and I'm definitely not stalker boy. I just wanted to talk to her, to see how she was doing, especially after Joe told me that he saw her and The Big HIM together at the bar last night. I mean, I love this woman, but, fuck, if I'm going to have her break my heart into a million pieces again, I would like to have it happen like a band-aid ripping off instead of this shit where I spend days just waiting by the phone, you know?

Well, she forced about three or four sentances out. Ok, I'm supposed to believe that she's just been trying to get her head together and stuff. Yeah, right. That's "chick" language for "I don't want to be around you anymore." Then she made up some excuse to get off the phone and that was it. A good minute conversation. And that was it. It was just a week ago that we went to Denny's and had food and held hands and laughed and cuddled and had fun. And then out of nowhere, she just cuts off all contact with me and starts hanging out with her ex again.

Man, white people are fucked up.

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