NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Friday, January 24, 2003

Why the fuck is my page here all long like this, or is it just my old, slow, pornified laptop?

MOOD: just kind of takenbackquietstunned

BACKGROUND: The Grindcore Poppies

I appear to be having some temporary blogging problems that causes my blog to become about nine miles horizontally in a neat but annoying as all fuck sort of way.

On the negative side, my blog is all longified in a way that makes it hard to read. On the positive side, I mean, yeah, sure, I have over 3,000 followers of the religion I created in 1996 and yeah I've been on Mark and Brian and Mancow and mentioned on Howard Stern and all that, but, I mean, come on, like anyone actually reads this shit. I mean, Hitler buttraped my mother and shit in my dead grandmother's puss-ridden occular cavities - could I say that if anyone actually read this crap? So this blog could be nine feel long horizontally with nude pictured of Neil Diamond for all I fucking care, just as long as I still get a podium to write in.

Oh, and speaking of no one reading this, here's a tip for you. And this goes doubly so when you're sober, ok? It might seem like a fun time to waste away your boredom, looking half-assed on the internet for old friends and old flames, but, hey, just don't, okay? Just don't. Not that it's not fun. It's just a tit bit spooky, you know? Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

My life is a lot better than I give it credit for, you know? It's this whole not drinking/not smoking thing which, in retrospect, is the stupident fucking thing I've ever thought up. Sobriety is turning me into a stick up my ass little prick, an anal retentive asshole, a short tempered, easily offended, no fun at all loser. A Christian republican, basically (ladies and gentlemen, the extent of my political humor, GOOD NIGHT!).

The drunk Steve-O was much more fun. he never gave a shit about anything. I mean, sure he destroyed things with his ex-fiance, but that would have happened eventually, I mean, who are we kidding? All I'm saying is that, no, I'm not seeing myself drinking anytime soon. All I'm saying is that I can see Drunk Steve-O doing a pay-per-view match a few months from now, maybe when my friend Jason gets out of prison or something.

That's be something to see.

No comments: