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Sunday, October 10, 2004

This is going to be the most stressful week of my entire life and I will spend this entire week trying not to freak out or cry or just completely lose it, all because my childhood dream is about to come true.

MOOD: nervous

BACKGROUND: Ed Wood soundtrack

I'm talking about Ed-Woodstock, my childhood dream which in one week's time is going to become a reality. I could talk for days and days about how important this next week is for me, that my childhood dream is about to come true.

It is absolutely incredible and humbling and simply mind-boggling to me to think that I first had the idea for Ed-Woodstock way back in 1992. I mean, where were YOU in 1992? Me? I was a nerdy fifteen year old virgin with very little friends other than my old movies. And now I'm twenty-seven with a daughter and a family and my lifetime dream is about to happen and I have so much to do and think about and plan and write that I feel like my heart could explode from fear and happiness all at the same time.

And, technically, this isn't the first Ed-Woodstock. I actually had a makeshift Ed-Woodstock in 1994 in my parent's living room in Glendale, Arizona. Joey Karas was there are Telle Jarboe and Jamie Wedow and John-O. My older brother Joe sat in with us for most of it. My old catholic school buddy Greg was there for seemingly nothing more than to temporarily make out with Michelle, his girlfriend whom I crushed on for my entire senior year of high school, right on my parent's couch. That was strange. I think Daif was probably there as well. And I remember being really, really upset that my best friend Tom was out of town and couldn't come. And a part of me wishes that he could come next week but I know he probably won't.

We stayed up all night and watched bad movies. All of us. We laughed and ate bad food and drank soda and had an incredible time. It was incredible. It was amazing. It was like my high school friends were meeting my childhood friends, my movies. And especially Ed Wood. To me, he was like a childhood friend. I looked up to him and admired him and in my mind he was really my imaginary friend. And why not? He was a misunderstood maverick rebel who tried to reach the spotlight and got nothing but laughter and ridicule. And yet he never stopped trying to reach his dreams. Other kids had G.I. Joe as their imaginary friend and I had Ed Wood. No wonder I turned out this way.

For the first few hours of the first Ed-Woodstock there was almost 30 people there, various friends and whatever. It was fun. It was a nice little get-together of people having fun and being peacefull and watching Ed Wood films. But by one am there was only about five of us left, drinking Jolt and feeling like the night was perfect and that it could go on forever and that WE could stay up forever and never grow up and just screw around and have fun until the day we died.

And someone, Joey I think, said, wouldn't it be cool if we could have a big Ed-Woodstock with bands and movies in an actual movie theater. And I laughed and nodded and thought that it could never happen, that even though that would be my ultimate dream, to feel that happiness and love and unending fun in such a massive scale as to fill an entire theater, that there would never be a way for Ed-WOodstock to ever happen again.

And now, I find myself about to cry from thinking that, over twelve years later, that my Ed Wood dream is about to finally come true.


... and I hope to see you there!

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