MOOD: frightenednervoushungry
BACKGROUND: my daughter pretending to be Princess Fiona
So I'm here trying to pack. I'm here at my future mother-in-law's house. I
So I'm here in front of their computer (the girls - Emerald and her cousin) are using the big people chairs and instead of kicking them out I'm sitting in a little toddler chair trying not to panic. I am so scared of flying. I am so frightened about tomorrow. I am so scared to get on that plane. I'll probably have to down myself a few Steveweisers before I get on the airplane.
What makes it a bit more difficult is that even though I am deathly afraid of flying - and this is my first flight at night - I will have to act brave because this is Emerald's first plane trip. She is so excited, too. She is a million times braver, as two years old, than I will ever be in my entire life. So she's excited and I'm frightened. Great. I'm being pussied out by my own daughter.
Added to all this is my own fear about going back to Arizona and staying with my parents. This will be the first time, really, that I will be a parent around my parents. Because as I have been becoming a parennt, becoming a father to Natasha's daughter, my parents were moving to Phoenix and barely speaking to me. So I'm nervous. And frightened. And trying to pack. Well, in all reality it's my future mother-in-law that's really doing most of the packing while I type and try not to cry.
Wish me luck.