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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Well, my 17,984th attempt at being happy is, so far, a huge fucking success!

MOOD: perfectlycontent

BACKGROUND: And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead "Worlds Apart"

I'm here at Natasha's mom's house copying music so I can burn me some cd's. I've really been getting back into music lately. Trail of Dead, Armor for Sleep, Limbeck, Arcade Fire, Raveonettes, Seether, Stereotyperider, RX Bandits, the Weakerthans, Big D and the Kid's Table. Feel a bit quilty, though. I mean, I know I should be helping Tasha and her parents next door with the hammering and the painting and all the other interior decorating things they're doing. But I can't. I don't have it in me. I can't pick which color paint should go on which wall to match which carpet. That's impossible for me to do. It's like asking me to do differential equations or to stop masturbating. Just not possible.

And Tash seems to be okay with that. The sort of unspoken rule is that I take care of the baby and she takes care of the man stuff that I would actually be doing if I was any sort of stereotypical male. But I'm not. I'd hate to use the phrase "metrosexual" because I don't go in with culturally popular little buzzword catchphrases like metrosexual and hella and whatnot. But Natasha is doing all the hard work and I'm here typing and burning cd's.

I feel happy, though. I've been happy nonstop for about a month now. It feels fucking great. I've been working on the Woodian bible, getting into some great music, reading some wonderful books (Yeeissah, thanks for the Daniel Handler BTW) and Natasha and I have been great. Absolutely great. Super Mecha American Party Fun Time Number One! I've never been this happy in my entire life. We're getting married. And soon. And just between you and me, we are secretly expecting a certain little "bundle of joy" in six months.

Plus, and this is really amazing, there's this GREAT little video montage from Edwoodstock that's now available on-line. Edwoodsock was my lifelong dream, a movie festival and music festival all centered around Ed Wood. I never thought it would actually hapen eve. But it did. October 18th, 2004. And now there's a really sweet little video clip from the event for anyone who wasn't there. Click here to check it out. I watch the clip a lot. It always puts a smile on my face, makes me centered, makes me realize that achieving your lifelong dreams is a reality that exists in places other than in Hallmark cards.

I feel like there's this fire inside my chest. It's happiness, not heartburn. I always wondered what it feels like to be happy all the time. And, wow, it feels fucking fantastic.

I do feel guilted enough, however. to go next door and help them work on our soon-to-be home. So, thanks for listening. See you later.