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Thursday, May 12, 2005

This story is about Harry Potter, a British sci-fi magazine, and what being "faux" means to me.

MOOD: hungrybuthappilymarried

BACKGROUND: Monster Magnet "Powertrip"

I am a simple man, despite what other people may think. I don't think that I fall into the mental category that people place me into before meeting me. People apparently expect a lot of things from a person who started their own religion based on Ed Wood and I seem to never meet any of these claims. I think, if anything, I'm a lot more normal than people seem to think I am.

YES I founded the Church of Ed Wood which currently has over 3,000 followers. That's true. But I also am happily married, really into comic books, I'm a huge fan of Godzilla, do absolutely no drugs, read a lot of books, am deeply into music, hardly ever drink, am one of the poorest men you'll know, own a shitty car, and I work at a bookstore where I do crazy storytimes and run a Harry Potter club for kids.

Those are the two things that really makes my job special, being able to read stories and color with my kids and to get all loud and silly at the Harry Potter meetings. Plus, I'm great at my job. I don't mean to toot my own horn but BEEP-BEEP. I know kids books and want to help people find what they're looking for.

So here's the gist of my story ... I was at work yesterday, preparing for last night's big Harry Potter club meeting. It's at six pm, so I get to work a little bit before noon and spend the entire day getting ready for it, getting activities and trivia questions ready and stuff. I go to our magazine section and spend a good ten-twenty minutes flipping through sci-fi and movie magazines looking for Harry Potter stuff.

I pick up the May 2005 issue of SFX magazine. It's a British magazine. And in it there's an article about Vampira. Wow, I wasn't expecting that. So I read the article. And in it, they say "There's even a FAUX religion called The Church of Ed Wood."

They called my religion faux. And I've been pissed ever since.

This is usually where Natasha, my wonderful wife Natasha sets the record straight by informing me that it is not that they called me faux ... they called my religion faux. I always get geeky excitement everytime the church gets mentioned in a magazine or a newspaper. But Tasha is the one who tells me that I am not in the magazine, but my religion. But to me, there is no separating me and my religion. I've been an Ed Wood fan since I was in sixth grade. I created the church in 1996. I've spent these past nine years creating beliefs and ideals and preaching them to the world. I have bled for this religion. I have cried for this religion.

As far as I am concerned, I AM my religion. I AM The Church of Ed Wood. And SFX magazine called ME faux, me and the 3,000 + followers who also call themselves Woodites.

SO, if you have some time on your hands, here's a link to contact information for the people at SFX magazine. E-mail them and let them know how wrong they are.

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