NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, August 20, 2005

Where will the Galindo family be killing next?

True Crime: New York City drops on the Gamecube on 11/15/05, I type as my pregnant wife shoots the shit out of a gang of Russians. We still love our original True Crime. It's been a great way for us to alleviate all the stress that comes from being less than four weeks (holy SHIT - four fucking weeks!!!) away from the strict on sale date for our new baby. What better way to relax than to run over old people?

But just look at that screenshot. That rocks ass! It's taken from a Gamecube, too, which is impressive for their shit-eating console. But this next True Crime is going to be absolutely amazing. I can't wait to go to New York City and shoot the fuck out of people, just start popping off tourists and bums and fat white chicks. I see myself just standing right in the middle of Times Square just getting head shots on random people. That makes me smile.

I am ALL ABOUT killing!

And then, what will I do for purgatory, when I start to feel bad about all the people that I've killed?

Ultimate! Fucking! Spider-Man!

Goddamn I love my fucking life!

The other day Marisa was at my house, sitting at the dining table while I typed GVWA results, and what does this chick do? She ups and picks up one of MY own personal journals (I have a cock, so I call it a journal) and just starts reading it, right there in front of me like it's a fucking Tom Clancy novel. And I tell her that, seeing as how some of the stuff in there is about her, that perhaps she shouldn't be reading it. She told me "Steve, all I see is a bunch of cussing."

You know what I say to that? Fuck that.

Here is some free music for all my niggaz ... right click this shit ...

Radio host Casey Kasem ciussing up a fucking storm!

Queen: "We Are the Champions"

Party Ben presents The Clash vs. Gwen Stefani: "Radio Hollaback"

Grand Buffet: "Candy Bars"

Psycho Charger: "Graverobbers from Outer Space"

The Cautions: "Big Hit Song"


Anonymous said...

Oh pshaw, like I would actually read your journal.


I saw a stack of journals on the table, each one more colorfully decorated than the last. I am admiring Steve's handiwork when he says "There's stuff about you in there."

There are two different Marisas. There is bad Marisa, who is incredibly vain. And then there is good Marisa, who wears a white headband and cares about other people's feelings.

Bad Marisa: (opens a journal) Wow, I am such a badass.

Good Marisa: You're terrible. These are full of Steve's personal thoughts!

Bad Marisa: And they're about me, he told me so. Therefore, I can sort of skim around and look for my name and stuff. (flips through pages)

Good Marisa: OMG this is so wrong. (averts eyes)

Bad Marisa: Noooo! All I can see are bolded swears!

And then, three weeks later, Steve told the internet that I am a terrible person. In actuality, I am only a terrible person for a couple of seconds before The Goodness kicks in.

Dear readers, I would be lying if I said I never touched Steve's attractive journals. But I did not read them.

The end.

Reverend Steve said...

GodDAMN Marisa. That is some serious shit right there. God I love you. And I don't think you're a horrible person. You're funny, warm, open, friendly, and you have sexy fucking feet.