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Monday, October 17, 2005

I'm Thinkin' YES to Zombie Prom ...

Natasha and I have had our sleep patterns turned over and spanked in the month since little Isabela has been born. And for a good three weeks there, I've tried to be super duper father person and go to sleep late and wake up early and get only three or five hours of sleep and take care of both Emerald and Isabela and feed them and wash dishes and throw out trash and be all around Super Dad so that Natasha could get a ton of sleep to heal her c-section. But now, out of nowhere, roles have been reversed. It happened like three days ago, too. Suddenly I'm trying to wake up at eight or nine but I end up waking up right before noon and staying up until one or two in the morning.

And that's where I'm at right now, sitting here in front of our computer from hell just screwing around and drinking the last fruity smurf-sweat drink as Rhett Miller sings depressing songs to me about lost love.

Speaking of the baby, I took care of Isabela for a good two hours or so ALL BY MYSELF today. Nobody else in the house sleeping, no parents next door in case things get crazy. Nope. Just me. And she was an angel. She acted up once she realized that mommy wasn't around, but then Super Dad swept into action and put in the BABY SLEEPING CD that I made a month ago that is 100% guaranteed to put you and/or your child to sleep. And Bela knocked out like she was doing shots with my brother. It was awesome. Here's the track listing if you want to jump on Kazaa and make your own. It's like fucking baby kryptonite. It's awesome.

Anyway, back to my original gist ... I feel that it's my job as the husband to get Natasha out of the house once and a while without the kids, make sure that A) our love remains fresh and strong, and B) make sure she doesn't snap. And that was the ulterior motive behind our big Woodmas bash at the dirtbar. I wanted to go out with Natasha just like we used to, back in the day when we would go to The Crest downtown for the big Trash Film Orgy shows (before they became haven to ostentatious hipsters and Hot Topic rejects) and come home at three in the morning. That was when we really cemented our love for each other.

So anyways, I'm sitting here just screwing around, waiting to get tired, and I stumble onto something ... so now I think I'm thinkin' YES to the Zombie Prom ...

I went to nine proms. Yeah. Nine fucking proms. That's the latino heat in action right there. I went to three of my high school's proms, then I was the date of choice for dateless catholic girls in the greater Phoenix area, which continued after I graduated in 1995. The last prom I went to was in 1998. Tom Wegner and I were BOTH the dates of my girlfriend at the time. This was BEFORE she cheated on me twice and then decided to go dyke. That night was awesome. I pissed off a ton of people, got drunk, and almost had a threesome. A fitting climax to an evening's entertainment, to quote Criswell from "Orgy of the Dead." I always liked that memory as being my last prom.

And yet, my OCD hates it that I ended my run of proms on an odd number. And Natasha hates it that she never went to prom one.

So, two birds with one stone, I figure. Here's all the info. It all sounds pretty kick ass. Now, I know from experience that "sounds kick ass" and the reality of the situation differ greatly when it comes to the TFO, but this sounds really promising ...

"Doors open at 9pm for the TRASH HIGH ZOMBIE PROM ... enjoy dancing, games, drinks and more!

-Live show starts at 10pm with a 15-minute musical version of Macbeth and TFO's educationally insane compilation of the weirdest and wildest in vintage prom etiquette films, followed by a brief intermission and one last chance for Zombie Prom fun!

-11:00 FEATURE FILM BEGINS (Sun Oct.30 - CARRIE/Mon Oct 31 - PROM NIGHT)"

The last Trash Film Orgy show that I went to was their big "Friday the 13th" bash and it left a nasty taste in my mouth. It was a bunch of drunk people and jocks and neckless assholes and ostentatious fucks and just a whole mash of pricks. We all agreed that the TFO had gotten too big and decided not to show our faces anymore. Plus I personally had a bad experience last summer passing out flyers for my movie/music festival and getting looks of disdain and disgust from a bunch of high and mighty tattooed and pierced KIDS who thought they were better than me just because they looked more PUNK than me.

But goddamnit if the TFO prom doesn't look really fucking good. CARRIE! That's awesome.

I think Steve and Natasha are going to prom together. Who's coming with us?

1 comment:

Gregorio said...

if i lived up your way, i would TOTALLY fucking go... that sounds awesome. truly. awesome.

and by the way, i have to say that im relieved that someone i know went to more proms than me (i've chalked up 5 so far... SO FAR)