NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Joys of Staying Through the Credits ...

... I am rare. I am special. That is because, unlike everyone else who books straight out of a motion picture right at the end so that they can "beat traffic," I always stay through the whole credits.

It's a sign of respect to a great movie, to sit through the entire credits. It's something that my wife and I do only to those really special films that we love. And seeing as how we sgo and see a movie every two or three months now ... aah, the joys of fatherhood ... almost every film we see is a really special film we love. I have no idea why everybody just takes off when the credfdits start rolling. Not only does it show a true love of motion pictures to sit there through the credits but it also allows you to exit from a virtually empty theater and not push and shove your way through a massive swelling of people rushing to the bathroom once they see "Directed By" on the screen. Plus it's also really fun to make fun of the gay Hollywood names on the credits. Like MST3K. It's awesome.

The best part of staying through the credits is that, sometimes, you are rewarded by some extra added bonus scene hidden either somewhere deep within the credits or safely stowed away right after they've finished. There's an entra reading from "The Book" deep within the credits to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that's really funny. I saw it at a sold out preview and yet when that passage came on there were only about twenty people there to see it. A secret club of credit watchers. There's a incredibly hillarious and disturbing as fuck "Milkshake" scene at the end of Dodgeball that will probably haunt me for life. My favorite line in Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy is "Well he missed the clown!" from the end credits. There's also another secret club little eight second scene at the end of Wet Hot Aamerican Summer. These are like "thank you" giftf to people like me, thanking me for loving the movie so much to stay through the entire credits.

I say this because I saw a sneak preview of The Producers on monday. There was hardly anyone there, probably about forty or so people there hardly filling up the shitty downtown theater. I was there with Jesse and Ian and Jess and my wife and sitting behind us some annoyingly loud and ostentatious "I shop at Hot Topic" type theater fags. The movie was awesome. If you haven't seen the musical, then you HAVE to see this film ... and if you HAVE seen the musical, then the movie is even better. It's an awesome film and as the end credits rolled my wife and I cuddled up together and started making fun of names. And I was upset to see Ian and Jess and Jesse leave because I didn't peg them as credit leavers. They said that it was because they were tired. Whatever.

Whatever reason they had, they missed the incredibly awesome German ballad song that Will Ferrel does during the end credits. he takes his first song, the "Hop Clop" song, and transforms it into a love ballad that is just hillarious when you realize what you're listening to. And what he whispers at the end of the song is histerical. And it mentioned my work, which I strangely felt some sense of pride in. Which is strange. And, another incredible secret club scene, there is a big full cast musical number at the end of the credits. Tht's right, an entire awesome little full cast musical number after the credits. It even featured Mell Brooks! It's probably the single most awesome end credit scene EVER. And there were only eight people left in the theater to see it. And two of those eight were me and my wife.

Syat for the credits. I guess that's what I'm saying. Stay. What's your fucking hurry, huh? Kick back, eat the rest of your popcorn, make fun of people's names and relax. And you just might be rewarded at the end.

Just watch.


Sorceress Jade said...

You know, I might have sat for the credits if the end of the movie weren't so terrible. If it had ended somewhere around the 'the movie up to this point' jail recap, I would have been fine. But the whole tale end of the movie bugged the crap out of me and I couldn't sit there any longer. I have no problem relaxing and chatting through the credits, and make no mistake, I have been there for plenty of easter eggs myself. But I just couldn't take anymore from that movie. The Movie was good, the end was not.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was long, but I enjoyed it. I do regret not staying for the credits, myself. I'm still a Will Ferrel fan, so when it comes to video I'll definitely check it out. I don't know if it will top my favorite end credit scene in Daredevil where he kills a fly. YES! I also love the Jackie Chan ones...
J to the s e

Gregorio said...

amen. amen amen amen. as a graduate of film school, one of the major things we learned was - stay through the credits. it's a show of respect, number one... (something americans in general lack), and 2, it can be rewarding in its own way... whether you mock the names or catch the stingers.

i salute you, rev. steve.

and happy thanksgiving.