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Monday, November 21, 2005


- It sucks that I don't have the internet, that my computer sucks and that we are waiting for Marisa and her boyfriend to supply us with a computer. But what DOESN'T suck is the TURDUCKEN that they are "allegedly" making for their X-mas party. That is so incredibly awesome. I'm not sure if I spelled that right, the whole turducken thing. Either way, i'll be the one with bells on at their party.

- I watched the WWE Smackdown tribute to "Latino Heat" Eddie Guerrero last night. The best words were spoken by fake-teethed redneck douchebag JBL whose words, although obviously prewritten, were honest tearjerkers. During the night, Shane MacMahon said "The chants of 'Eddie, Eddie Eddie' will live on in ourt hearts forever." And I was suddenly taken back to February 2004 when my family was there live to see Eddie win the championship from Brock Lesnar. When Eddie first came out, I remember chanting Eddie's name as loud as I ever yelled ANYTHING! I felt like a child watching the WWF at the Arizona State Fair in the eighties, watching Hulk Hogan wrestle the Macho Man Randy Savage, chanting Hogan's name as loud as I possibly could in the innocent childlike hopes that the louder that I cheered, the more chance that he'd have to win. That's how I chanted Eddie's name that night. And he won. Eddie was one of my heroes and I do not have too many. Eddie's name will be chanted in my heart forever.

- On a somewhat related note, I have a brand new love. Her name is Megan. Despite her incredibly tallness or her Lutheran upbringing or her love of "The Sound of Music" ... she has the most extensive knowledge of professional wrestling that I have EVER seen on ANYONE ... male OR female! OMFG, she seriously knows her fucking pro-wrestling! Jesus H. Christ, she knows wrestling and WWF and WWE and WCW and ECW! And she has a VAGINA! Wow, that is so incredibly awesome! I am so in love with her now.

- Despite what anybody says, "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" jokes NEVER go out of style.

- In the past week, I have heard the MC Hammer song "Pray" more times than anyone should ever have to hear that song. And if there was a way, although I honestly believe that it's impossible, to somehow record how many times the song that Bobbie Brown wrote for Ghostbusters 2 has played inside the Barnes and Noble at Arden Mall in Sacramento, California in a single year, I honestly believe that the number would be beyond the fifties. And that is so incredibly frightening.

- Right now I am watching Sifl and Olly. It is such an amazing work of pure comedic genius that if you have never seen Sifl and Olly, you are probably going to hell.

- The greatest song ever written and the one that I have been listening to constantly lately is the Beatles song "In My Life." It perfectly represents me right now, the place I am in my life, a man who is nearing his thirties, a man who is married with two kids in a foriegn state away from all his relatives. There are places I remember, times from my past, and I have found myself stopping and thinking about these things, these pieces of my past. Suddenly being quiet and introspective and remembering Glendale and ASU and Tom and Joey and Telle and Deer Valley and Debby and Bennigan's and Sarah and Fag-staff and Saint Simon and Michelle and Rocky Horror and Alaskan Bush Company and fucking at the Phoenix Zoo. And I love all those memories. I do. But I love the life that I have now more than those things that I find myself remembering. That is the song "In My Life" and that is exactly how I feel right now when I'm driving to work in the morning or when my two month old daughter is asleep on my chest. In my life I may think long and hard about my past but I love my present more than my past.

- Two words: Labatt fucking Blue. There's nothing better.

- I would SO buy a legless dog.

- My parents are coming into town this wednesday. They are coming down from Arizona because my brother Joe couldn't get out of his kareoke job. So they came from Arizona to Sacramento for Thanksgiving for my brother. They are NOT, it should be noted, coming down here to make it easier on me and my family and my newborn daughter. No. They are coming down here to make it easier on my older brother Jose and his little dirtbar kareoke job. And not my two month old daughter. This should be duly noted.

- Tonight I am going to go see a preview of the movie "The Producers." Here's a psychic review ... fucking AWESOME!!!

- Natasha wants to move to Arizona. Natasha's parents are already planning on moving to Arizona. Natasha's relatives are either planning on moving to Arizona or have already moved to Arizona. And I am regularly told, mentioned, nudged and PUSHED towards Arizona. And that makes me want to cry. I moved from Phoenix to Sacramento with tearsn in my eyes in 2002 and now that I have found a home and a job and a family and a following, everyone around me is trying to get me to move to Phoenix. What the fuck?!? I don't want to be the guy who moves from his home to California ... just to move right back home. I don't want to be that guy. I am popular and successful here. I am a success here in California. I miss Phoenix and I would like to move back there one day but I feel that if I were to move back there now, I think that I'd be running back home with my tail between my legs. Like I lost somehow.


Sorceress Jade said...

Turducken! Right on. Please post how that is. It sound fucking awesome.

Sorry to hear about your computer trials and tribulations, that's a bitch.

Anonymous said...

electic booga-pray!