NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, May 13, 2006

Random Stuff ...

- my wife is naked on the couch and damn if she doesn't look hot as hell. She is the perfectly proportioned woman. She has the tastiest curves. And she's drinking some wine. That MEANS something 'round these here parts, wink wink. Just looking at her makes me want to fast forward two or three hours to when the littlest one falls asleep and it's just me and my wife and our dirty dirty minds.

- no matter what concert you go to, be it Toby Keith or Vince Gill or System of a Down or Los Lonely Boys, there will always be one guy there who is slightly drunk and can whistle with all the volume of a humpback whale being raped by Godzilla. And he will be right next to you. And he will whistle. The. Whole. Fucking. Concert. It's that fingers in the mouth whistling thing that 60% of white males know how to do and 10% of mexicans know how to do. And that's the fucking truth.

- I can't wait for E.C.W. to come back. In the book Hardcore Homecoming, wrestler Jerry Lynn gets upset over wrestling fans who yearn for an alternative to the WWE but don't bother to watch TNA on Spike. What he fails to realize is that TNA, although it is groundbreaking and revolutionary, is run by the Jarret family who just happen to be a bunch of fucking douchebags. I hate Jeff Jarret, not because he's a great bad guy but because he thinks he's shit on toast and yet he has earned absolutely ZERO respect from wrestling fans. He's a douche. I want to watch an alternative to wrestling that is NOT a Jeff Jarret cock sucking contest. That said, fuck TNA. ECW is the return of real professional wrestling and I for one cannot wait.

- my store manager is hot as fuck. Sad but true.

- work has made me think something up... is it wrong to know TOO MUCH about someone's personal life? And if it is, then how do you go about telling that person that you don't want to hear anymore of their heartbreaking freaky ass horror stories from the deep bowels of their horrible marriage? I don't think you can do it without coming off like an asshole.

- I just couldn't believe the season finale of The Office. WOW! I did not see that one coming. It just hit you like a fucking train coming out of nowhere. Wow, man. And if you missed it, here's the last three minutes for you ...

... America has been trying to rape ideas from English television for years and years and years ... Men Behaving Badly, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Big Brother, and the dead in the water Coupling. But we have yet to be fully 110% successful until The Office. The creators of the original show decided to stop the show after two seasons so that they could end on a high note, a decidedly quiet and polite British sort of thing that we asshole Americans can't comprehend. Our American version, however, didn't fully become popular until now, the end of the second season, so now OUR Office will be surpassing the original. Who the fuck knows what's going to happen from here on out? No one knows. And, as a sign of good faith, the original british creators have signed on to write an episode or two for the next season. That's awesome. I was the ONLY ONE at my work extolling the praises of that show when it first aired. Everyone else hated it. And now the rest of the world is slowly coming back to me. The Office rocks. Join us in our conquest of British comedy.

- I'm hopped up on cold medicine. AND I LOVE IT! FIESTA!

- I honestly and sincerely hope that Deborah Bell and all three billion sisters of hers are all doing good. I miss my Arizona days and thoughts of Arizona alywas stray to thoughts of her and her family. I really do mean it when I say I hope she's going well. She deserves great things. On Debby's myspace it says no drinking/no smoking. And I hope to god that's true. And I really hope that she's doing well, hasn't caught some horrible disease, and I hope she knows that I miss the fuck out of her and hope her life is good. These are the thoughts that eminate from the dirty whorebeast that is fucking myspace and its evil mutant power to help you find everyone that you've ever known EVER! It's a day to day fight, the whole NOT joining myspace. But, hey, I'm just taking it a day at a time.

- I called in sick for tomorrow. And FYI, yes, I am actually sick. So there.

- the other day when I came home from work my wife was asleep on the couch with the baby and Emerald was on the couch with a bathing suit on and ONCE I walked in the door she asked me if I wanted to go swimming with her. And I didn't. But the look on her face has the power to guilt Hitler for shit's sake, so I threw on some trunks and went swimming with her in the 2 1/2 foot pool that nana has in the backyard. And fuck me if I didn't have the most fun I've ever had swimming. It just reminds me that Emerald is becoming more and more like a regular person, a grown up, a human, and I am happy to say that if I wasn't her daddy then I would still like to hang out with her because she's cool and a ton of fucking fun. And that's awesome.

- here is a link to a big titty blog. It's good stuff.

That's about it. Life is good. Here's some free music for your ass ...

Michael Penn: No Myth

The Raconteurs: Steady As She Goes (acoustic)

Porno for Pyros: Pets

The Editors: Orance Crush (awesome cover, these guys are the balls)

Weezer: Island in the Sun

Sifl and Olly: The Panda Song

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I still think the British version is better. : )