NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Friday, July 14, 2006

A (manic) Day in the Life of Reverend Steve ...

5:50 am - I wake up, shower, and spend what is supposed to be daddy's "personal time" with the internet (wink wink) but ends up being daddy downloading songs and reading wrestling web sites. Not too erotic.

7:08 am - As I make coffee and some lunch, Emerald wakes up with blood covering her face and right arm. I have a small freak out but am quickly quieted by Em's calm "I just had a nosebleed, daddy." I figured she'd be crying and freaking out but no. Her poise kinda spooks me out, seeing as she's four years old and covered with blood.

8:45 am - Manager Nicolas has this great idea about how we're all going to "engage" the customers and when we do he'll give us an "engage" card and put it on a big poster of Cpt. Picard. I look at the carpet and play with my new iPod.

9:10 am - The store manager, who is supposed to be on vacation, comes in with the district manager and someone who is later identified as the head of loss prevention. They engage in a three or so hour closed door meeting with a sign scotch taped to the door saying "Do not disturb." Tensions run high and talk spreads like an Arizona summer wild fire.

10:30 am - One employee yells and cusses out another employee loudly at the customer service desk in front of a handful of customers.

11:10 am - One of the managers makes one of the female employees cry, one of my near and dear friends. I swear to god that for about five seconds I wanted to slap the shit out of whoever made her cry. I ran after her to comfort her, ended up holding her for a while in the reveiving room.

Noon - Handcuffs. That's all I can legally say about what happened. Handcuffs. Wow. Didn't see THAT one coming.

12:50 pm - Apparently someone told someone else that our store might be closing down if we have a bad x-mas of sales. I take an extra ten minute break to try to stop shaking. God. What has happened to my fucking store. Since when did it start falling to pieces like this?

1:30 pm - Overhear a customer say that the children's department, MY children's department, is one of the worst they've ever seen. Fucking teachers, man. I hate them all, the fat white conceited bitchwhores.

1:45 pm - Point blank ask the manager if our store's in danger of being shut down. She says that no, the store will more than likely be relocated somewhere around the same area as a bigger store with a music and movie and cafe section.

3:00 pm - Kyle: "Goddamn, this is the most ghetto ass fuckin' bookstore ever, man!"

4:05 pm - Manager lectures us about being professional. Someone, NOT ME, defamed the "engage" sign to say something unprofessional regarding the "handcuffs" incident. I think the manager thinks it was me who did it.

5:10 pm - Drive home listening to a shitload of MF Doom and debate if I should apply for the manager position. The last time I applied for a manager position I had two managers point blank promise the position to me only to let me down. I don't want that to happen again. Plus, I want to spend time with my wife and kids, not go to work at 6 am and leave at midnight. Screw that.

5:40 pm - I ask Emerald if she will go swimming with me in nana's pool next door. She says yes. We play horse and shark and we make wirlpools by swimming really fast around and around. I get very dizzy.

8:12 pm - Holding little Isabela, she pokes me in my right eye. It swells up a little and gets red like a Coke can.

9:48 pm - Trying to watch Smackdown but it's just not in me. I've been such a wrestling fan for so long but I just don't seem to have it in me to watch this boring rehashed WWE bullshit anymore. Instead, I try to hack into porn sites and try to wash this day out of my brain.


Anonymous said...

Your times are screwed up. There was no crying in the receiving room until at least 11:25, because I was still working on the shipment.

Just sayin'.

Reverend Steve said...

See, I own no watch. Tell the truth, I was just spitballin' on the times. God, what a fucked up day, huh?

BTW, what do you think of today's blog title graphic? You eating your own fist has never looked better!

Anonymous said...

It was a-maze-ing.