... YES, the polls are closed, the voting booths are being dismantled, and I, Reverend Steve, have finally chosen a rap persona for myself. And yes, the winner and the name that I will be going by in the rap world is none other than Early Bedtyme.
Although Preposterous just barely won the popular vote, in the end I decided that Preposterous sounded too serious, too honest, just too damn GOOD for me. I mean, for christ's sake, it could easily sound like some actual rapper with talent's actual rap name. Ludicris and Preposterous, the "That's Silly" Tour! That sounds like it could actually happen. So that name, although the winner, was out of the running. I went instead with the name that I thought most screamed "pathetic rapper."
And that name is Early Bedtyme.
I am also proud to say that not only am I going to be "rapping" the "lyrics" that I in no way "found" at work and not only am I adopting a rap persona to record these tracks but I am dusting off the term B.S.O., short for the Book Seller Order, the fake wrestling faction from my massive fake wrestling federation that I spent countless hours writing about right here on this blog way back in oh-5ive. I liked the B.S.O. and the idea that all the Barnes and Noble employees banded together to form this evil NWO parody. That made me laugh. And I still wear my B.S.O. shirt to this day, I love the concept so much that I didn't want it to just up and die.
So now the B.S.O. will not be simply an outdated fictional wrestling faction but my very own hardcore rap crew! I have a rap crew! Yippie. Today, shortly after getting the idea for the B.S.O. I recruited my first member ... MILTON, the quiet, soft spoken black guy who works at my store and liked Mudvain and the Warriors series of cat books for kids. Milton. What an awesome fucking name for a member of my crew. He got my back like Flava wears big fucking clocks.
Early Bedtyme and the B.S.O.
This is going to be fucking awesome!