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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Captain Book TRAPPED by the Evil and Sinister (and incredibly handsome) Dr. Borderz ...

... so today was the big Captain Book storytime sans Captain Book and despite the low kid turnout (11 kids total, not as big as I was hoping but still pretty good for a practice run of what's going to be a BIG reoccuring storytime movement this year) it was a SHASHING success!

As this video starts, Mr. Steve has just run into the back to fetch bookstore superhero CAPTAIN BOOK, leaving the kids to chant "Captain Book" but the chants are soon drowned out by one loud young boy screaming Queen's "We Will Rock You." They are soon joined by beautiful, young, big tittied Marisa who has unfortunate job of breaking the news that storytime is cancelled. Eventually the kids turn on the "BOOK-0-VISION 3,000" and pretty soon Marisa is attacked by the evil and sinister (and ruggedly handsome) Dr. Borderz.

I was late coming out because at the last second I remembered I forgot my cape which took Natasha a few hours last night to make, which meant Marisa had to ad-lib. It was good. Apparently one of my regulars had a dad who owns a hatchett. Awesome. My favorite part is when Isabela suddenly walks up on stage and she becomes my evil "henchman."

This is crazy stuff, proof positive that I should be paid salary. Check it out ...

This isn't all of it, obviously. There was about 45 minutes of storytime before this video and there was about 10 minutes of goofing off right after this. But what my wife managed to get on our new camera was the totally awesome money shot, me coming out and riffing with the kids and most of the videos, the big videos at the end. I'm very excited about how it all turned out, despite the low kid count, and it's a really good example of what's to come this year. Starting next month we'll have a different Captain Book adventure the last saturday of every month. And this is just a small taste of the big shiznittle to come.

FYI, at the endof the video when I fall to the floor, I apparently fell right on the screen of my iPod. Broke it all to hell, can't see shit. Sucks.

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE to buy yourself an official $9.00 CAPTAIN BOOK t-shirt before he becomes HUGE!

Not going to make a big deal out of this next part. I don't want to upset people, my parents in particular. So I'll give all y'all the short version of it.

Immediately after storytime I rushed off downtown with Natasha and the baby because she needed an MRI to make sure that the siezure she had wasn't anything serious. Bela was crabby as all hell because she hadn't eaten solid foods since the night before and she hadn't drank anything for a few hours. It's a miracle that she was so quiet and well behaved during the rise of Dr. Borderz. When we were in the waiting room she started doing her super baby freak out, kicking and screaming like bloody hell. So I walked outside with her, walked down K Avenue with her in my arms, and sang to her. I sang everything I could. Beatles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jason Webley, Elliott Smith, Jimi Hendrix, Eels. A slow version of the song that Judas sings in the opening of Jesus Christ Superstar.

And I have made her fall asleep three times now with my slow ballad version of the obscure Dr. Demento song The Martian Hop, a song that only Isabela has ever heard me sing.

I made her fall asleep with her in my arms while I did a one man concert downtown for my own special baby and it was the greatest performance that I've ever done in my entire life. Really special. Something I'll always remember.

The MRI went fine. The drugs they gave her took effect in like ten seconds. It was frightening to see. She was screaming and crying and freaking out from the IV and seconds later she just knocked out. She was hungry and loopy afterwards, when we eventually were able to wake her up from the knockout drugs. She was tired and rubbery but once we were home she had a handfull of popcorn in one hand and a McDonald's double cheeseburger in the other hand. Just like her father.

She's doing fine now. Here. See for yourself ...

She makes that face EVERT TIME MC Hammer says that. It's awesome.

We'll hear the MRI results in three to four business days. Join us in hoping that everything's okay.


Ian McEwan said...

Awesome! It's good to see you 'live-action' again. Marisa too, but I get to see her about every 3 months. And Scott is Captain Book? Ah,and the store... my store now is basically the worst imitation of a Borders. At this point, the Borders downtown is unbelievably better. It's like the corporations swapped agendas.

You should film everyone at the store for all of us Portland folks(namely, me).

Reverend Steve said...

Scott IS NOT Captain Book. I would NEVER allow that.

Kenton, one of the new booksellers, is Captain Book.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Borderz (!!) is pretty cool. WIsh I could see one of his adventures. Looks like a lot of crazy strangeness.