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Friday, January 5, 2007

What The Doctor Had To Say ...

... well, apparently I am one of the few people for whom the drug Paxil means mind numbing depression. It can happen, although the chances are apparently very rare that an anti-depression medication could lead to mind-numbing depression. So I guess I should be honored. I should buy myself a scratcher or a powerball, I'm so damn lucky.

So no more Paxil for me. I could see myself going down a road that could have led to me doing some stupid things if I had continued taking that stuff. And the stomach meds, which were making me high and dizzy and just ended up making me trip balls at work, are all over for me, too. No more meds for me. I'm still taking the nasal stuff (or at least I WILL be taking it again once I find out where I lost it in the house) and the powder inhaler stuff. But no more pills for me, not for a while at least.

As to the reasons why I am the way that I am right now - angry, depressed, pissed off, stressed out, nervous, shaking, random crying and all the rest? Well, the doctor say that the long lasting Paxil is still in my system and is giving me side effects. What's worse is that my body has gotten used to it and now that I'm NOT taking it my body is having withdrawls. So for the next week to a week and a half I should expect to have more amazing mood changing days like the ones I've had in the past few days. Hooray for me.

My wife, however, thinks that a large part of the way that I'm feeling has a lot less to do with the pills and a lot more to do with me. She thinks that a lot of this is me having no one to talk to, no real friends that ever want to hang out with me, my work stressing me out, problems at home and my parents pretty much ignoring me for my brother. She thinks that I've just been building up all these small little thinbgs and now its all starting to blow.

So I'm going to see a shrink and get me some therapy.

I'm trying not to think less of myself as a result of that.

So that's that. My doc game me the name of a new anti-depression drug and my wife and I are going to find out about it and get back to him in regards to if we want to try it. I'm not sure. On one hand I don't want another Paxil incident on my hands. On the other I totally want to pop fucking pills because that's fucking rockstar.

Anyhoo, in honor of brand new therapy Steve I give to you a few eps of the world's greatest shrink of all time.

Enjoy ...

And that's that. Peace out. Wind clan wins again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Steve, don't look down at yourself for getting some counseling. You've been stuffing emotions for years and need to find a way to let it out and also deal with the problems behind them so you can truly be happy.

I know you love Natasha and the kids very much. Think if this as your gift to them in giving them a husband and father who is generally more content with life.

This is a good thing, Steve.