NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Lack Of A Proper Digital Camera Forces Steve To Do Very Strange Things ...

... first off, check out this Reservoir Dogs poster that was made using the entire movie script! It's pretty awesome. The Godfather one is sweet, too. I'd totally buy one if I wasn't so destitute.

Secondly, I am now officially shopping at Safeway because they just started selling the greatest beer in the world: the big blue, baby, it's back ...

I love my Labatt Blue. As regular readers of my blog will already know, I take my Labatt Blue drinking very personally and (sadly) stopped drinking it regularly over a year ago. But my parents came to see me do my storytime thing and mingle with my kids this afternoon and gave me some beer money. And a fate stop at a Safeway led to the purchasing of some awesome cool blue tall boys. I swear, once I saw them the theme music from Ed Wood's Glen or Glenda started playing in my head, this swelling of strings and happiness and hope.

Like the bartender at the Hard Rock restaurant here in Sacramento said when I cussed him out for not telling me earlier that they carried it in bottles, Labatt Blue drinkers are the most loyal beer drinkers out there this side of Guiness (i.e. pretentious beer that tastes like burnt toast). There's just something about Labatt, though, that makes it taste better than all the other beers that I regularly drink solely because they're readily available. It's like a Budweiser-flavored MGD but it DOESN'T taste like ass and it goes down smoother than a greased up naked Oprah on a goddamn Slip 'N' Slide.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first and last time that I will ever use the phrase "a greased up naked Oprah on a goddamn Slip 'N' Slide" in any serious way. If I ever mention that in my blog again, I'll just be mentioning it in an ironic way.

Where's Mr. Steve?

Thirdly, I'm doing another one of my fifty mile couch sorta nights. hence the Labatt Blue. I don't particularly like being alone. I especially don't like it when Natasha goes out and I stay home alone, like tonight. But the kids make it easier. Bela and I played together and watched Invader Zim. Emerald and I ate ice cream and played her uncle's Nintendo Wii. I played my iPod and watched an episode of Dora before she kissed me good night and went to bed ...

Natasha's at this "mixer" thing. She's partying with somewhere between 100-150 people drinking and meeting new people and dancing and making contacts and maybe getting spanked. Me? I'm alone in a stinky house drinking canadian beer and watching Glen or Glenda for the 40th time. I'm not angry. I'm just drunk and lonely. I miss going out. I miss having a bar to go to. I miss my brother. I miss seeing movies. I miss Ricky and Jason. I miss giving Marisa rides. I miss talking to Marisa. Fuck, I just miss Marisa.

(no posting comments about that last part about Marisa, no matter how funny and self-deprecating your comment may be)

Finally, the kids and I went to the California State Fair yesterday. It was loud and crazy and despite the occasional near riot it was a lot of fun. I would show you pictures but our digital camera went all crapskis on us, so we have nothing to take pictures with except for a polaroid and a webcam.

So, in a crazy move the likes of which no one else has ever DARED to attempt, I have somehow managed to recreate two of last night's most memorable moments by cutting and pasting and cropping old pictures and turning them into illustrated representations of last night's state fair trip. I used old pictures to create pictures from last night's trip. If that sound's crazy, that's because it IS crazy.

Here are the two pics I've completed ...

The more I look at the pictures I created, the more I'm convinced I'm crazy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Call me next time. All I did tonight was sit around my apartment wishing I had some beer...