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Sunday, September 16, 2007

How to Grill A Gummy Hamburger ...

STEP ONE: Find something gummy. I usually prefer gummy bears. However, yesterday all we had were gummy dinosaurs, which worked just as well.

STEP TWO: Ground up some meat. Add seasoning salt and a liberal helping of Worcestershire sauce.

STEP THREE: Mix the gummy bears (or dinosaurs) in with the meat, then mold into large thick hamburger patties. Make sure they are thick so the gummy pieces will stay in the meat during the cooking process.

STEP FOUR: Thank the crap out of your lovely wife for grilling you gummy hamburgers.

STEP FIVE: Place gummy patties on the grill and monitor closely while drinking. The drinking is important. It is best to have drank two or more beers BEFORE eating a gummy hamburger as the beers help the taste.

STEP SIX: If a few minutes your gummy hamburger will be ready. Add cheese, ketchup and mayonnaise for taste and place on a bun. If your patty comes out smaller than you had hoped, simply get another patty and make a double-decker gummy hamburger, as the picture illustrates. Now you are ready to eat your gummy hamburger.

STEP SEVEN: Eat the crap out of your amazing Galindo-invented gummy hamburger. The taste is interesting and cannot be described. One thing is for certain, however. It tastes ten times better than you THINK it tastes.

STEP EIGHT: After you've had a few bites, many people around you will want a taste. Some people who said before or during the cooking process that they wanted a taste might chicken out at this step. Make fun of them. For unknown reasons, the gummy hamburger is a very mexican friendly food. Mexicans LOVE the gummy hamburger. So, if you have mexican friends with you, it is best to make them their own so that they don't totally jew yours.

This hamburger has also been tested on canadians. I am happy to say that our cadadianite neighbors from the north ALSO enjoy the taste of the Galindo-invented gummy hamburger.



Gregorio said...

This is revolting. Note that I am neither Canadian nor Mexican... but I kinda wish I was Mexican... but this... ugh, no.

Reverend Steve said...

"Step Seven: It tales ten times better than you THINK it tastes."

Try it just once and you'll see.

Tastes like heaven.