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Sunday, August 24, 2008

Trying/Failing ...

I'm trying to ditch the crutches. I'm trying to walk on two legs a little bit. I'm trying not to sleep all day and night. I'm trying not to be stuck on that damn couch all damn day. I'm trying not to pop vicodin like they're mentos. I'm trying to get better.

My wife, however, is limiting what I can and can't do. She doesn't want me to overdo it and hurt myself screw my leg up even more. And I fully understand her fears. What I have in my leg is a serious thing. I've been cut up twice now and I don't want to go for three. I want to get better and in order to do that I need to take my health seriously and take it easy.

But being stuck on that couch is driving me fucking insane! I like to move, to busy myself, to work hard and fast and move and walk. I don't want to spend all day sleeping on the damn couch!

I mean, it's good that I'm being forced to slow down and rest and all that. I was working way too hard and I was close to a burn out. Hell, this might BE my burnout. And it's good to have time with the kids and all that. I guess its a forced vacation, a forced couch vacation.

A forced couch vacation is much lamer than it sounds. It's like I've been benched. I've been benched. It's so frustrating having to spend most of my day on this damn thing. Plus we hardly have any food in this house save some bits here and there for the kiddies. I just want to stand up and run away but I can't because I'm benched.

We go back to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully I won't have to get cut up some more.

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