NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Sunday, February 1, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...

I am REALLY excited about this week's church-less movie because, hell, it's almost like actually being at church ...

Yoinked from Wikipedia:

"Left Behind: The Movie is a film released to theaters, VHS, and DVD in 2000, starring Kirk Cameron, Brad Johnson and Clarence Gilyard. It was directed by Vic Sarin. Left Behind is touted by its creators as the biggest and most ambitious Christian film ever made. It is based on the Left Behind series of books. In the words of star Janaya Stephens, 'Left Behind is not the story about those who were called to Heaven, it's about those who were left behind.'

The film was widely criticized and received only a 12% positive rating among reviewers on the Rotten Tomatoes website. The Washington Post's Desson Howe, described it as '...a blundering cringefest, thanks to unintentionally laughable dialogue, hackneyed writing and uninspired direction. The more this movie tries, the worse it gets. Its sincerity ends up becoming a bulging bull's-eye for rotten-tomato throwers.'

One of the authors of the book series, Tim LaHaye (who along with Jerry B. Jenkins, refused to attach their names to the film) was outraged over this, as claimed he was promised a movie version on a $40 million budget and a two-hour adaptation, and sued Namesake and Cloud Ten for $10 million. Jerry Jenkins, however, refused to join as a plaintiff in the lawsuit and LaHaye's claims were eventually dismissed by the trial court. After an appeal by LaHaye reinstated some of the claims, the parties finally settled the case in July 2008. LaHaye dropped all claims against Namesake and Cloud Ten in exchange for an option to remake the films based on the first two books in the series."

Steve's Snacks Of The Week:

Lays Wavy brand chips

Chocolate Gorge ice cream

Copious amounts of coffee

Nice big mellow pills

CSS: Left Behind

Silverpennies: Left Behind

Jeremy Fisher: Left Behind (live)

Check the comments to read my commentary on the film as it happens!


Reverend Steve said...

I know this is supposed to be the biggest christian film of all time and with the biggest budget of any christian film. But apparently the biggest christian movi9e budget is still slightly lower than your standard Lifetime movie of the week. Or one of those crappy made for tv, bad special effect disaster movies. But with Jesus sprinkled in for fun.

Reverend Steve said...

Takes so fucking LOOONG for these badly written douchbag characters to figure out why everyone's gone.

Shit, bitches, the film is called LEFT BEHIND! We KNOW they're gone because of the bible, so you don't kneed over an hour of a bunch of sinners wandering around fake rubble going WHY?!?!?!?

Reverend Steve said...

And is the U.N. evil???

And why is the guy who's trying to feed the poor and bring peace somehow the evil bad guy?

I'm confoossled.

Reverend Steve said...

How fucking awesome would it be if Kirk Cameron is trying to save the world and then suddenly Mike Seaver's buddy BONER shows up and saves the day?


Reverend Steve said...

Like, 5 minutes to go until the end of the movie and finally the bad guy becomes bad. Jesus, dood, did you need a jump start or what?

And the lead character is Ace Reporter BUCK WILLIAMS! Gee, that's subtle. Why not ca;ll him Dashing McHeropants.

Reverend Steve said...

... and apparently the bad guy has evil sith mind-control powers.

What the fuckles?

Reverend Steve said...

Well, end of the movie.

Funny. The movie's pretty shitty. Corny dialogue, crappy ass fake special effects, bad acting. All over crummy.

But I totally want to see the sequel now.

How 'bout that, huh?

Anonymous said...

I might have to check this flick out. It sounds like the kind of bad that I really enjoy...That, and mocking christians.

The Bunster

Reverend Steve said...

The insane amount of computer effects look like bad Gumby effects but done on a computer. And trying to make a rock quarry look like Israel doesn't fool anyone.