NOTE: If you are easily offended by offensive things then please go somewhere else. I suggest or, you wuss!


Monday, November 30, 2009

My Apologies ...

I am very unhappy with yesterday's Church-less Movie Of The Week. Three movies were too much. The videos kept on un-syncing. Gamera is just strange and boring and not as fun as watching a stupid Godzilla flick.

It just wasn't a fun sunday. And I'm sorry.

I'll go back to cool, strange cult movies this sunday. I promise.

And if you haven't done it yet, then please read about my exciting new campaign.

Also, there's a brand new story of sadness and drunken longing at my other stupid blog that's worth a click.

Thank you for your time.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Random Awesome Pictures ...

The "Get My Wife To Let Me Buy This DVD" Campaign ...

"When Gangsters kill her boyfriend, the eye-popping, excessively endowed Chesty Morgan seeks revenge with two of the most incredible weapons ever seen on the motion picture screen: her 73-inch breasts!

Miss Morgan (billed here simply as 'Zsa Zsa'), an Israeli stripper whose gigantic, watermelon-sized bust is downright scary, plays Crystal, a 'successful advertising executive' who tracks down the men who offed her lover and smothers them by shoving their faces into her copious cleavage! All of which leads up to a bizarre, mind-boggling surprise ending.

A completely deranged cult classick from director Doris Wishman, DEADLY WEAPONS proved to be such a hit on the grindhouse circuit that another Doris and Chesty collaboration, Double agent 73, quickly followed. To see it is to disbelieve it!

AND: Chesty Morgan, whose 73-inch breasts were the twin stars of Deadly Weapons, is back in this screwy spy epic from director Doris Wishman (Nude on the Moon).

The shocking, excessively boosomed Miss Morgan plays Jane, a.k.a. DOUBLE AGENT 73, whose assignment is to bust up a heroin ring and discover who the ringleader is. To accomplish this, she must take photos of everyone via a miniature camera surgically implanted in her left breast. Really. Whenever it's squeezed, a camera shutter slicks and a flash goes off. Honest. But - get this - the camera is also a time bomb (!?), thus making her boob...well...booby-trapped!

Besides Chesty committing one fashion crime after another, there's also a bloody shower stabbing, a ridiculously sped-up car chase, and far too much cinematic insanity to be listed here. Doris Wishman's films are often startling, but this one is a full-scale assault on your senses!"

It's a double feature, two of the worst big breast/murdering people with tits/spy/revenge/exploitation films ever, together for only TEN BUCKS!

So why won't my wife, my amazing and beautiful and smart and funny and very UNDERSTANDING wife, let my buy this damn dvd online?

And how can YOU help me?

By BUGGING the SHIT outta her!

So here's the deal ... my wife's e-mail address is ...


E-mail her telling her why she should let me buy the movie. Send her an e-mail. E-mail her more than once. E-mail her a lot. Send her a freaking e-card. Really just let her have it. Then get your friends to e-mail her, too. Tell ALL your friends to e-mail her! And maybe TOGETHER we can get me that dvd!

I mean, seriously, it's two of the worst films ever made about a foreign chick who uses big tits to kill people. Come on! I'm Reverend Steve, man! I started a whole freaking CHURCH based on bad movies, man! I so totally HAVE to have these stupid movies!

And it's only ten bucks for the both of them. Seriously! I want this movie! I have to have it! And maybe, if she doesn't kill me when she sees this post, maybe YOU can help me get it!

It's the "Get My Wife To Let Me Buy This DVD" Campaign. Help yourself by helping STEVE buy a movie about murderous big tits!

Also, and I hope you are still reading this, I have been doing storytimes for kids every week for well over 11 years. And in celebration of this I've compiled a big photo album of over 50 pictures and hilarious stories from over a decade of entertaining children.


And, if you could, plllllleeeeease share the photo album on Facebook. I really want to get my name out there. So a quick share would really help me out. Plus, it's pretty cute and fairly hilarious.

A Funny B.C. Comic Strip ...

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week: Gamera/Mystery Science Theater TRIPLE FEATURE ...

I am a Godzilla man. I've been watching him since I was in sixth grade. I am a big green loyalist through and through. So, when deciding if I should dive head first into the world of that OTHER big green Asian monster, I decided it would be easier if Joel and the 'bots would help ease us into the world of Gamera.

Three movies, three episodes of MST3K, three brain-melting monster monstrosities.

Enjoy ...

Yoinked and bred from a number of wikipedia pages ...

"Gamera is a giant, flying turtle from a popular series of kaiju (Japanese giant monster) films produced by Daiei Motion Picture Company in Japan. It was created in 1965 to rival the success of Toho Studios' Godzilla series during the monster boom of the mid-to-late 1960s.

In the Shōwa era series, Gamera was a titanic, fire-breathing antediluvian species of tortoise who fed on flames, reawakened by an accidental atomic blast in the Arctic during an aerial assault by US fighters on Soviet bombers caught crossing into North American airspace. The narrative points out that Gamera had appeared in the past, revealed in an ancient stone etching. Gamera was already capable of flight and breathing fire (rather than atomic rays like Godzilla) when he was reawakened.

Gamera (大怪獣ガメラ, Daikaijū Gamera?, Giant Monster Gamera) is a 1965 daikaiju eiga (Japanese giant monster) film and the only film in the original Gamera series to be released to American theaters. It was originally presented in America by World Entertainment Corp. and Harris Associates, Inc. who re-named the film Gammera the Invincible. All subsequent entries in the series were released directly to television by American International Productions Television. Gammera the Invincible's American premiere was in New Orleans on December 15, 1966.

Gammera the Invincible was heavily re-edited from its original Japanese version. Scenes were moved around and some were deleted completely. New footage featuring American actors was spliced in to create a more international feel and to replace scenes shot in the original cut featuring American extras with poor acting. This was the last kaiju film to be filmed in black and white."

There's part one, now enjoy part two ...

"Gamera vs. Guiron (ガメラ対大悪獣ギロン, Gamera tai Daiakaijū Giron?, Gamera vs. Devil Monster Guiron, also known as Attack of the Monsters), is a 1969 daikaiju eiga (giant-monster movie), the fifth entry in the Gamera series. The film is copyrighted in Japan because Kadokawa inherited the rights from Daiei. However, US law does not recognize this inheritance of the rights so under US law there is no recognized intellectual property owner successor to Daiei, and so the film is in the public domain within the US. This film's antagonist, Guiron (named for 'guillotine'), is a giant quadrupedal dinosaur-like monster with a head shaped like a long knife, which is 100 times harder than diamond. Along the knife is a hole that shoots small magnetic shuriken. It also has the ability to fly.

Guiron acted as the guard dog of two brain-eating space women, the last of a dead civilization on the planet Terra. The aliens guided him with a mind control device. Guiron proved his combat prowess by effortlessly defeating a Gyaos, reflecting its sonic cutter beam and literally slicing it to pieces with his blade. Guiron later fought Gamera, and nearly killed him as well."

Wow. Part two was crazy. Now enjoy part three ...

"Gamera vs. Zigra (ガメラ対深海怪獣ジグラ, Gamera tai Shinkai Kaijū Jigura?, Gamera versus Deep Sea Monster Zigra) is a 1971 daikaiju eiga (giant-monster movie) featuring the popular Gamera character created by Daiei Motion Picture Company.Zigra is a deadly opponent whose appearance is similar to that of a Goblin Shark, possessing a silvery gray, armor-plated hide, a pointed nose, a row of sharp fins on his back, as well as sharp pectoral fins.

Unlike most Kaiju, Zigra is intelligent and capable of speech, presumably by telepathic means. He is an alien from an unknown planet that landed on earth via a small spaceship shell—the ship sports the same dorsal fins. For much of the first half of the film, he uses a captured human female as an extension of his will to infiltrate dry land. The agent (Lora Lee Virus), possesses a symbiotic relation to the ship and also can put humans in a trance by eye contact and snapping her fingers. After the agent was subdued, the shell was destroyed by Gamera, revealing Zigra's full form. Due to differences in Earth's environment to his native planet, Zigra grew in size to match Gamera's.

Like many of his fellow Showa monsters, Zigra has not made a film appearance outside his initial debut, (except for the obvious stock footage scenes). However, he made an appearance in the Gamera comic series by Dark Horse Comics, that was based on the Heisei Gamera series. In the story, Zigra was an escaped alien creature from outer space, who managed to find his way onto Earth. He'd eventually meet up and face Gamera, who made relatively short work of him. In this series, he was pretty much unchanged, except for the fact he was more of an aquatic-based wild animal."

Steve's Snacks of The Week:



Red Vines

Cable Car Root Beer

Dog N Suds Roor Beer

Chili Cheese Dogs

French's French Fried Cheddar Onions

Kettle Brand Lightly Salted Potato Chips


This is going to be tough for me to sit through. I am, after all, a severe Godzilla loyalist ...

... but more kaiju should be fun.

And here are the sunday movies we have seen so far ...

December 7th: Godzilla VS Mecha-Godzilla
December 14th: Godzilla VS Mothra (free to watch)
December 21st: Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (free to watch)
December 28th: Lord of the Rings (Rifftrack edition)
January 4th: Godzilla VS The Sea Monster
January 11th: Series 7 (free to watch)
January 18th: House of Wax
January 25th: Police Story 3
February 1st: Left Behind the Movie (free to watch)
February 15th: Godzilla VS Megalon
February 22nd: Jesus Christ Superstar (free to watch)
March 1st (part 1): Duck Soup
March 1st (part 2): Godzilla Final Wars
March 8th (part 1): Godzilla VS The Smog Monster
March 8th (part 2): The Three Caballeros
March 15th: Sonny Chiba's "The Street Fighter" (free to watch)
March 29th (part 1): I Bury The Living (free to watch)
March 29th (part 2): Drive-In Massacre (free to watch)
April 15th: Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (free to watch)
April 25th (part 1): Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla
April 25th (part 2): Godzilla Tokyo S.O.S. (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 1): Sex Madness (free to watch)
May 3rd (part 2): Frankenstein Conquers the World
May 10th (part 1): Muppet Treasure Island
May 10th (part 2): La Bamba (free to watch)
May 17th: Mothra (free to watch)
May 31st: Mega-Shark VS Giant Octopus (free to watch)
June 7th: Tommy (free to watch)
June 14th (part 1): Roger Corman's Fantastic Four (free to watch)
June 14th (part 2): Rodan (free to watch)
June 24th: MST3K's Godzilla VS Megalon (free to watch)
June 28th: Last Man On Earth (free to watch)
July 5th (part 1): Over The Top
July 5th (part 2): Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (free to watch)
July 12th (part 1): Air Guitar Nation
July 12th (part 2): Cockfight/We Are The Children (free to watch)
July 19th (part 1): Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saves the World) (free to watch)
July 19th (part 2): Turist Ömer (free to watch)
August 2nd: The Marx Bros' At the Circus (free to watch)
August 9th (part 1): MST3K's Marooned (free to watch)
August 9th (part 2): First Spaceship On Venus (free to watch)
August 16th (part 1): The Atomic Cafe (free to watch)
August 16th (part 2): MST3K's Night of the Blood Beast (free to watch)
August 30th: God Told Me To Kill (free to watch)
September 3rd: Rebirth Of Mothra (free to watch)
September 6th: Cinema Insomnia's The Wasp Woman (free to watch)
September 13th (part 1): A Bucket Of Blood (free to watch)
September 13th (part 2): Cinema Insomnia's Prince Of Space (free to watch)
september 21st: Theater of Blood (free to watch)
September 27th (part 1): The Brain That Wouldn't Die (free to watch)
September 27th (part 2):MST3K's Amazing Colosal Man (free to watch)
October 11th: Horror of Spider Island (free to watch)
October 18th (part 1): I Woke Up Early The Day I Died
October 18th (part 2): Earth VS The Flying Saucers (free to watch)
October 25th (part 1): Frogs (free to watch)
October 25th (part 2): King Kong Escapes
November 1st: The Thing With Two Heads (free to watch)
November 8th: Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle For Earth (free to watch)
November 15th (Franken-Week, Day 7): Frankenstein Conquers the World (free to watch)
November 22nd: The Giant Gila Monster (free to watch)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

My Life In Sentences ...

-My wife is back home and things are good.

-It is absolutely silly for a bookstore to make its employees open the store at 7am, especially when the store has no real sales.

-Jason Mewes, Jay from Clerks, is coming to town in a few weeks for the winter Sacramento Comicon and this time I'm serious when I say I want to go and bring Emerald with me.

-Thanksgiving means one thing - watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with the kids.

-There are literally a million things I don't have the guts to write about here.

-I've been having a bad problem taking my meds at the right time and that's led me to really go nucking futs lately and want to do bad things to myself and it's starting to frighten me.

-My wife and I are as happy as a bipolar man and a woman in her profession can be.

-It used to be that the term "black friday" was used by workers, by employees, by people who worked in retail for a living but NOW it's used by soccer moms and major corporations in ads and used in the nightly news during bullshit puff pieces and it's NOT FUCKING FAIR because they didn't EARN the RIGHt to use the term black friday.

-My youngest daughter loves being nude and it's starting to frighten me.

-We might be looking at some seriously angry drama at my thanksgiving dinner.

-In a few months there's also going to be an Indie Comic Convention in Sacramento and Jeffrey Brown is going to be there, Jeffrey Brown being the creator of one of the coolest graphic novels ever - The Incredible Change-Bots, and I'm hoping that if I go and I ask him nicely that I can still become a member of the Incredible Change-Bots Fan Club that he advertises in the back of the comic.

-Sex + Saran Wrap = Wicked Hot.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Without My Wife ...

I'm sick. Feverish and dizzy as all get out. Vomited last night, which wasn't at all fun. It's my second or third day of having a hangover, despite the fact that this is a year and a half of siobriety for me.

In sickly times like these, there's only one thing that makes me feel better - complaining about it to my wife. But my wife has left, leaving me to school the kids. It's fun to teach Emerald. But I just wish I could be cuddled up on the couch fading in and out of sleep while bad movies play on the tv.

The irony is that I was going to call in sick so that I could take the kids to go see a free preview of Wes Anderson's "Fantastic Mr. Fox" but now I'm just way too dizzy and screwed up to go, so I ACTUALLY called in sick. I mean, damn, I'm missing storytime, for Wood's sake.

I don't think my wife and her family believe me and my sickies. But the heck with them.

And yeah, if I get better I'm TOTALLY taking the kids to go see that damn movie. That's how I roll.

Wind Clan out.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Post #1,246: The Pre-Thanksgiving Trip ...

My wife is leaving for a work trip today. She's leaving in about an hour and she's going to be gone until sometime wednesday night.

I really don't want her to leave. I'm exhausted from work, I'm getting sick, and I'm very emotionally vulnerable right now. But we are so amazingly, desperately, frighteningly broke that we NEED the money!

I mean, we need to keep our house, right?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week ...

Yoinked from the wikipedia (and a number of other websites) ...

"The Giant Gila Monster is a 1959 black-and-white science fiction film directed by Ray Kellogg, and produced by Ken Curtis. It stars Don Sullivan, Lisa Simone, as well as Fred Graham, Shug Fisher and Bob Thompson. This low-budget B-Movie featured a cast of unknown actors (Shug Fisher being the most notable cast-member). The low-budget effects included a live gila monster, filmed on a scaled-down model landscape. (At one point in the film, the gila monster attacks a model train.) The movie has been released on DVD and is considered a cult classic.

This was one of two features produced by an independent company in Texas and meant for release as a double feature. The other feature was The Killer Shrews (1959). Unlike many such features produced in the South, these films received national distribution. The 'Gila Monster' in the movie is actually a Mexican Beaded Lizard.

Despite being full of scenes where a normal Gila Monster wanders through model railroad sets, this film was okay ... until our hero pulls out the Ukulele! Then things get ugly. I still cannot figure out how a song goes from discussing a sad mushroom to a spiritual. Both times the song appeared I whimpered until it went away. That song, that horrible song."

Steve's Snacks Of The Week:




Salad (With Ranch)

... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE! But first lets go over a few ground rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed in this or any Galindo Theaters locations. Any and all talkers will be ruthlessly pee'd on. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING.

And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).

Oh, and remember ...

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Church And Work ...

My daughters are doing a play and a musical performance at church tomorrow. They've been working on it for weeks now and it's supposed to be amazingly cute.

I would like to go but my job made it crystal clear that I absolutely HAVE to work on sundays OR ELSE I would have to step down from my position as kids lead.

I don't know how to feel about that.

There will be a church-less MOTW tomorrow come hell or high water ...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Huffington Post ...

My article is up on The Huffington Post!

I am officially the shit now.

Although I know no one who reads that damn website is truly going to get me. A bunch of latte sipping, Prius driving, Abercrombie and Fitch buying yuppies and WASPs aren't going to get what the latino heat is all about.

This is the biggest thing I've ever done. And yet, I am destined to be misunderstood.

My Gay Stalker ...

I can't say I blame the guy. I mean, just look at that picture. I'm getting hotter in my old age. But, although I don't dig guys, if I did dig dunes I could get a whole lot better than the smelly drunk creepo who comes into my work and stares at me for hours on end.

At first he seemed like this hardcore angry black dude. He would come in to my department and listen to a beat up Walkman which would blare the loudest death metal you've ever heard. I mean, seriously, you could hear his music two or three departments away. That's how loud it was. And he would have magazines about weapons and fighting and books about angels and shit. But that would all be cover. What he really wanted to do was stare at people for hours on end, mainly me. This went on for about two weeks. he followed an employee to their car once. One time he yelled at a customer. It was starting to get frightening, especially the way he's just stare at people, especially me.

Then one day I was covering the front register. It was somewhere around 11:45am and he came up to be stinking of alcohol. He got in my face, introducing himself as Lucifer, and started telling me how my wedding ring is worth at least $1,500 and he knows that because his father is a real pirate and how good I looked and how I must work out and how handsome I was. It was frightening and intimidating and eventually security had to forcibly remove the guy from the store.

I thought that would be the end of it.

He came back twice after that and, again, sat in the kids section to stare at me. Some fellow employees suggested I call a manager to have him kicked out. But I was working in the teen section on those days, our teen department being removed from the place where he was sitting, so I didn't worry about it too much.

Yesterday I was getting ready for storytime. And there he was, waiting for me to start. That's when I put my foot down. I hid at the info desk while the manager removed him from the store. Then, get this, he actually CAME BACK a few hours later. Apparently he can't get enough of me. This time a different manager kicked him out. Now everyone I work with knows about my angry, possibly homeless, gay stalker. They think it's hilarious. Me, I don't find it funny. I watched my back the rest of the day and I even had one of the managers walk me to my car.

I'm deeply frightened about this.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Various Random Whatnots ...

-Watching Raw right now online. I like wrestling. But you know what makes me not like wrestling? Retarded sped wrestling fans. I just feel bad because my wife is writing a novel and she's been extremely busy all month working on it. I don't want to get on the computer because that means she doesn't get to work. Plus I think she might be a bit mad at me.

-I'm re-reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the entire series, even those last two crappy books Adams pooped out before he died. It's a funny, amazing series. It's just different from what I remember and I'm not sure why.

-I'm not sure if I mentioned it before but I, Reverend Steve Galindo, am set to be a special guest blogger for the Huffington Post! HA!!! That's me spreading my insanity even further! I finished my article early sunday morning. It's pretty good. It's honest. Plus I rip Scientology really bad AND I make a great analogy between God and the movies. I personally think that it might be too radical for them to publish, maybe ruffle some feathers, but I'm pretty sure that it's going to be published sometime this week. That will be huge for me, man, big time.

-My meds have been giving me a hell of a time recently. Sometimes I'm at work and I'm happy. Then someone will yell and me or go ballistic and I want to slit my fucking wrists open. All the flirting helpes, though.

-On a non-work related note, if a woman asked to leave early then NO PROBLEM is what the suits would say and they'd trip over themselves trying to accommodate her. but I ask to leave early and I get yelled at and treated like some wet behind the ears newbie scrub. It's pathetic.

OOOH, Heroes is almost on. Laters ...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Franken-week: Day 7 ...

I can't believe it's already been a week, can you?

Well, today our free Franken-week comes to a close now with a bang but with a turd. Yes, any credibility this blog gained seven days ago with Bride of Frankenstein is how squandered by japanese men in rubber suits.

Enjoy ...

Yoinked from Wiki and breeded with a few random blogs ...

"Frankenstein Conquers the World, released in Japan as Frankenstein Tai Chitei Kaijū Baragon (フランケンシュタイン対地底怪獣 ,Furankenshutain Tai Chitei Kaijū Baragon, lit. 'Frankenstein Versus Subterranean Monster Baragon') and Toho's official English title is Frankenstein vs. Baragon, is a tokusatsu kaiju/horror film produced in 1965 by Toho Company Ltd. This film features a Japanese version of the Frankenstein Monster, who becomes giant-sized to fight the giant subterranean monster, Baragon.

At a certain point in the sixties Toho's monster group in Japan took a left turn away from their own best interests. Noted exceptions aside, Toho decided that their monster romps were strictly kiddie fare and began to cut corners on their budgets. The once-threatening Godzilla became a clownish good-guy, sort of a 500 foot rubber suited Jerry Lewis. 1965 was the pivot year, when Toho's last original science fiction film Dogora made its appearance.

The nuttiest Toho so far was the horror-kaiju hybrid Frankenstein vs. Baragon, first announced in Famous Monsters as Frankenstein and the Giant Devilfish. American Henry G. Saperstein was the genius behind the simply terrible Dick Tracy TV cartoons. He partnered with the Japanese on a tale that starts in terrible taste and quickly drifts into the realm of the plotless and pointless. The film is reasonably entertaining nevertheless and remains a perverse favorite of Kaijû fans. There's no denying it: Frankenstein vs. Baragon is just plain nuts.

The movie’s origins are a bit more interesting though. Way back before King Kong vs. Godzilla, Willis O’Brien came up with the idea of a giant Frankenstein battling Kong. The idea was shopped around by a fellow named John Beck and it later became King Kong vs. Godzilla. O’Brien died and Toho still had the original Frankenstein script, so they ran with it.

The movie was a co-production between Toho and the American company Brenco Pictures (or possibly Benedict Productions), who had released a few other Toho films in the US. They were impressed with King Kong vs. Godzilla and apparently wanted in on the action. Originally, it was going to be a sequel to The Human Vapor (called Frankenstein vs. The Human Vapor), but that was canned in favor of Frankenstein vs. Godzilla. That, in turn, was canned in order to make Mothra vs. Godzilla. Finally, they sorted it all out and made Frankenstein vs. Baragon.

A giant octopus appeared on several stills from Frankenstein Conquers the World, but no one could spot it in the film. Ishiro Honda explains apologetically: 'The movie was made in co-production with an American company, Benedicts Productions. The bosses were so astonished by the octopus scenes from King Kong vs. Godzilla, they begged to include it into the screenplay, even in spite of logic. So we shot some scenes with the Giant Octopus but, in the end, they were left out of the picture.'

There are many references to the 1931 Frankenstein film adaptation, which is no doubt the most iconic representation of the monster featured in the famous book by Mary Shelley. In general, the monster is referred to by the name of his creator (Frankenstein), as opposed to 'The Frankenstein Monster' (which Dr. Bowen did refer to him as once in this film). The look of the monster is similar to the 'flathead' Frankenstein Monster designed by master makeup artist Jack Pierce. The mob of people chasing the monster on the beach is similar to the mob of villagers chasing the monster. Kawaji occasionally acts as the Fritz character from the 1931 film, when he plots something against the creature against Dr. Bowen's orders or unbeknown to him. The monster Baragon kills many people as well as farm animals, and Frankenstein is wrongly blamed for this, as nobody is yet aware of Baragon. The fire in the forest (When Frankenstein fights with Baragon), is similar to the fire on the windmill, on which Dr. Frankenstein confronts the creature at the end of said film.

This film spawned a sequel, War of the Gargantuas (titled Furankenshutain no Kaijû: Sanda tai Gaira in Japan). In said film, pieces of Frankenstein's cells mutate into two giant humanoid monsters: Sanda (the Brown Gargantua) and Gaira (the Green Gargantua). The former is a benevolent and peace-loving creature, the latter is murderous and savage. This was also the first of three Toho-produced films to star Hollywood actor Nick Adams, who starred in two other films: Invasion of Astro-Monster and The Killing Bottle."

I actually had this film featured as one of my Church-less MOTWs last May but I couldn't find it for free to show on the blog. Today I remedy that situation.

So Toho did a King Kong movie and a Frankenstein movie. Wouldn't it have been awesome if they had also done a Dracula movie? Can you picture it, a flamboyant giant Japanese Dracula in a rubber suit. That would have been an awesome picture. maybe I should work on it now?

Enjoy the show, y'all!

I'm going to miss Franken-week.

Farewell, my green friend, farewell!

The Viking Moses: I Will Always Love You

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Franken-week: Day 6 ...

Yoinked from wikiedpia, imdb and ...

"Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965) is a science fiction cult film, directed by Robert Gaffney and starring Marilyn Hanold, James Karen, and Lou Cutell. The film was released in Great Britain as Duel of the Space Monsters. It is also known as Frankenstein Meets the Space Men, Mars Attacks Puerto Rico, Mars Invades Puerto Rico, and Operation San Juan. In the United States, all of the advertising material, including the trailer, gave the title of the film as Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster. The main title on the film itself is Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster.

Director Robert Gaffney does a pretty good job; there are a couple of very good uses of freeze-framing, the editing is fairly solid, and even the spaceship interiors are good - you have to look pretty closely to see the wood. Although I did notice that, just as in Robot Monster, we are dealing with Wrinkled Telescreen Technology. Overall, though, this is a fine Bad Movie - one you can enjoy to its fullest while tormenting your friends with it's very existence."

Not much to say about this one other than to brace yourself.

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Have fun with today's Frankenstein crapburger. It's essentially half film, half stock footage, so have fun, ok?

Tomorrow: we finish off our exciting free Franken-week with a surprising Japanese flavor that, like all asian food, just leaves us wanting more ...

Friday, November 13, 2009

Franken-week: Day 5 ...

Yoinked from wikipedia, allmovie and ...

"Frankenstein's Daughter (1958) was the third of four drive-in classics crafted by producer Marc Frederic and director Richard E. Cunha in their late-'50s moviemaking heyday. In it, the original Doctor Frankenstein's grandson repeats his grandfather's grisly experiments. Working with a $65,000 budget, a six-day shooting schedule and a crackpot script, director Richard Cunha delivered an unapologetic B-movie that is perfectly entertaining. It was the last of four ultra-low budget monster movies punched out by Cunha in 1958, which have since earned him cult director status. He made two more pictures and moved on to television as a director of photography.

Here, the original Dr. Frankenstein's grandson, Oliver Frankenstein (Donald Murphy), now living in Los Angeles, creates a female version of the Monster from sweet teenage girl, Trudy (Sandra Knight) who then goes on a killing rampage. This thriller, with poor production values and bad sets, has some intentional humor, but little real horror. Also released as She Monster of the Night, Frankenstein's Daughter was featured in It Came from Hollywood, an amusing and loving tribute to horror films and their makers. Also, lovers of trivia should note that Sandra Knight, who plays Trudy, would later become the wife of actor Jack Nicholson.

Frankenstein’s Daughter, classic drive-in and fleapit fare, was quickly turned over to TV for late-night showings, where a generation of kids was treated to its bizarre monster and its cheap shocks. Frankenstein’s Daughter is a very rough gem and it makes for a fine guilty pleasure. If Plan 9 from Outer Space is Ed Wood's most memorable achievement, then Frankenstein's Daughter is surely Cunha's most lasting genre contribution. In fact, it is superior to most of the horror films released in the mid-to-late 1950s. Unlike Hammer's contemporaneous Frankenstein product, Frankenstein's Daughter gives us two evil looking monsters and the kind of grimy, edgy nastiness that dominated She Demons.

The full monster make-up was actually being worn by a man, Harry Wilson. Because of this, makeup creator Harry Thomas did not realize that the creature was supposed to be female. All he could do at the last minute was apply lipstick to the creature. Director Richard E. Cunha recently recalled that, upon seeing the make-up for the title creature just before filming, he was so disappointed he left the set and broke down in tears. That's the sign of a good movie."

Searching the web, I found a surprisingly large amount of positive reviews for this movie. They were all along the lines of "Yeah it's bad but it's also pretty good, too."

Pretty surprising, actually.

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Have fun with today's female Frankenstein. Girl power, women's lib and all that.

And if you thought that THIS movie was bad, then just wait until TOMORROW ...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Franken-week: Day 4 ...

Yoinked from wikipedia ...

"Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, released in 1943, is an American monster horror film produced by Universal Studios starring Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Wolf Man and Bela Lugosi as Frankenstein's monster. The movie was the first of a series of "ensemble" monster films combining characters from several film series. This film, therefore, is both the fifth in the series of films based upon Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and a sequel to The Wolf Man and serves as a sequel to Ghost of Frankenstein, although it never explains how the monster who was last scene being burt to death is now trapped in a block of ice.

As ultimately edited and released, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man is told in two almost precisely-equal halves. The discovery of the Monster and pursuit of the notes don't begin until thirty-five minutes into the film; the preceding scenes tell the story of Talbot's resurrection, killing spree, hospitalization, and escape across Europe. Most synopses of the film's plot begin with his discovery of the Monster and describe the first half only briefly. Much time is spent with a secondary police inspector character and on scenes with a desperate Talbot hospitalized by Dr. Mannering. The second half introduces the Monster, Elsa, and the village of Vasaria and its inhabitants.

Immediately following his success in Dracula, Lugosi had been the first choice to play the Monster in Universal's original Frankenstein film, but Lugosi famously either turned down the non-speaking part or was disinvited after director Robert Florey was replaced by James Whale; the virtually unknown Boris Karloff then was cast in his star-making role. (Florey later wrote that "the Hungarian actor didn't show himself very enthusiastic for the role and didn't want to play it.") Eight years later, Lugosi joined the franchise as the Monster's twisted companion Ygor in Son of Frankenstein. He returned to the role in the sequel, The Ghost of Frankenstein, in which Ygor's brain is implanted into the Monster (now Chaney), causing the creature to take on Lugosi/Ygor's voice. After plans for Chaney to play both the Monster and his original Larry Talbot in the next film fell through for logistical reasons, the natural next step was for Lugosi, at 60, to take on the part that he once was slated to originate.

That next film was Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man, which as originally written served as a sequel both to The Ghost of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man. The original script — and indeed the movie as originally filmed — had the Monster performing dialogue throughout the film, including references to the events of Ghost and indicating that the Monster is now nearly blind (a side-effect of the transplant as revealed at the end of the previous film). According to screenwriter Curt Siodmak, a screening audience (studio or public) reacted negatively to this, finding the idea of the Monster speaking with a thick Hungarian accent unintentionally funny (although the Monster spoke with Lugosi's voice at the end of Ghost of Frankenstein and audiences didn't hoot it off the screen). Though it cannot be confirmed through any other sources, this has been generally accepted as the reason virtually all scenes in which Lugosi speaks were deleted (though two brief scenes remain in the film that show Lugosi's mouth moving without sound). Consequently, Lugosi is onscreen literally for only a few minutes, leaving the Wolf Man as the film's primary focus.

Lugosi suffered exhaustion at some point during the filming, and his absence from the set, combined with his physical limitations at age 60, required the liberal use of stand-ins. Stuntman Gil Perkins actually portrayed the Monster in the character's first scene (thirty-five minutes into the film) and during much of the monsters' fight. Although a still exists of Lugosi in the ice, when viewers see the Monster for the first time (including closeups), it is actually Perkins. Stuntman Eddie Parker is usually credited as Lugosi's sole double, but his primary stunt role was that of the Wolf Man. However, he does appear as the Monster in at least one shot, and yet a possible third stuntman also stands in for Lugosi. The edited result unfairly suggests that Lugosi had to be doubled even in non-strenuous scenes, and the multiple use of alternating stuntmen in both closeups and medium shots damages the continuity of Lugosi's characterization. As an example, the doubles in the fight scene stiffen their arms, even though that was a cautious habit of the previously-blind Monster; for instance, a medium shot shows Lugosi pulling down a cabinet with his arms naturally bent at the elbows, but the next shot is of a double completing the task with straightened arms.

This would be the final Universal horror film in which the Monster played a major role; in the subsequent films House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula, the Monster, now played by Glenn Strange, comes to life only in the final scenes. In the 1948 Universal comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (the second and only other film in which Lugosi plays Dracula), Strange has a larger role and the creature once again has the ability of speech, albeit very limited dialogue, twice muttering, 'Yes, master'. A tribute to this meeting of two horror film legends happens near the beginning of the film Alien vs. Predator when this film is seen playing on a television at the satellite receiving station."

Here you go. The quality's total crap but hey they can't all be winners.

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Have fun with today's fuzzy Frankenstein faceoff. Again, sorry about the quality but at least it's free. This movie really is really a Wolfman film with the monster thrown in, but that doesn't mean it's not awesome.

Tomorrow: we dive facefirst into the fifties with a look at z-movie look at Frankie's daughter ...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Steve Status Update ...

-I just absolutely LOVE my Franken-week! And I hope you're having fun with it, too. Day four is Frankie's match with the Wolfman and after that we jump off the cliffs of insanity into a stream of really bad takes on the legend, including such gems as Frankenstein's Daughter and Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster. Yay!

-I just ok-d a Church of Ed Wood congregation in Missouri. And I'm also working on a little article for the HUFFINGTON POST which I just spelled all in caps because of it's sheer perplexity to my life. Me writing something for the Huffington Post? How friggin' cool is that? Wow. I sometimes forget that I'm important.

-I think I may be a hot commodity at work. I don't want to sound full of myself ... but there's flirting over here, people having dreams abut me over there, and some dirtier stuff I can't talk about because my parents read this damn thing. It's exciting and it makes me feel so good about myself.

Stay tuned.

More madness to come ...

Franken-week: Day 3 ...

Yoinked from Wikipedia and bred with snippets from the book Universal Studios Monsters: A Legacy of Horror which is a really awesome book ...

"The Ghost of Frankenstein, was an American monster horror film released in 1942. The movie was the fourth of in a series of films produced by Universal Studios based upon characters in Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein and features Lon Chaney, Jr. as the Monster, taking over from Boris Karloff, who played the role in the first three films of the series, and Bela Lugosi in his second appearance as the demented Ygor. It continues the adventures of the monster and Ygor, the latter having survived Wolf von Frnkenstein's bullets in the previous film.

Ghost sees the Monster brought back to life with some help from the insane Ygor (again played by Lugosi). Ygor is forced to turn to a second son of Dr. Henry Frankenstein, Ludwig (Sir Cedric Hardwicke), in order to keep the Monster alive. When the doctor determines to replace the Monster's original criminal brain with that of a benevolent, murdered colleague, Ygor conspires to have his own brain implanted into the Monster instead. This film marked the last appearance of Ygor (who seemed to have visited a dentist since the last film) though his name, or variations of it, has gone on to become the generic name for any mad doctor's hunchbacked lab assistant.

There was no mention of a second son of the original Dr. Frankenstein in Son of Frankenstein. Ludwig states that he has lived in this area his entire life, but it is not explained why only Wolf was raised in America. The most obvious change, however, is the replacement of Karloff with the obviously less emotive Chaney who does move in a lumbering slow motion as shown when climbing up stairs to reach the small girl and walking, whereas Karloff's incarnation would actually be shown actively running as shown in Bride of Frankenstein.

It was reported that the rubber headpiece used for the Frankenstein monster make-up was very uncomfortable for Lon Chaney Jr. to wear. It sat directly on his forehead and he constantly complained. Once he asked for it to be removed. Angry and frustrated when no one listened, he ripped it off himself, tearing open a bloody gash in his forehead. Production on the film was shut down for a couple of days. During breaks in filming, Lon Chaney Jr. would often treat child cast members to ice cream. Ygor and the Monster weren't the only characters who came back from the dead. Michael Mark and Lionel Belmore, who play the two council members murdered in the previous film are back as council members in this one, seemingly none the worse for wear.

Ghost of Frankenstein also marked the changeover of the Frankenstein (and Universal Monsters) series from 'A-movie' to 'B-movie' status, with noticeably reduced budgets and the reuse of actors from previous films. As noted above, footage from this film would even be recycled in a later Frankenstein feature. This would be the last Universal film to feature the Monster as the central figure of the movie. His following appearances would be in films that focused more on the Wolf Man, who was Universal's top monster of the 1940s."

I feel kinda nerdy saying this ...

... but all day at work I was waiting to come home and watch the next part of my Franken-week!

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Have fun with our Franken-descent into low grade horror. This one has a strange Lugosi twist that makes for some very stra-a-a-ange cinema.

Tomorrow: it's time for a Frankenstein SMACKDOWN as the big monster goes up against the big howling beast in this old school classic ...