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Sunday, November 29, 2009

The "Get My Wife To Let Me Buy This DVD" Campaign ...

"When Gangsters kill her boyfriend, the eye-popping, excessively endowed Chesty Morgan seeks revenge with two of the most incredible weapons ever seen on the motion picture screen: her 73-inch breasts!

Miss Morgan (billed here simply as 'Zsa Zsa'), an Israeli stripper whose gigantic, watermelon-sized bust is downright scary, plays Crystal, a 'successful advertising executive' who tracks down the men who offed her lover and smothers them by shoving their faces into her copious cleavage! All of which leads up to a bizarre, mind-boggling surprise ending.

A completely deranged cult classick from director Doris Wishman, DEADLY WEAPONS proved to be such a hit on the grindhouse circuit that another Doris and Chesty collaboration, Double agent 73, quickly followed. To see it is to disbelieve it!

AND: Chesty Morgan, whose 73-inch breasts were the twin stars of Deadly Weapons, is back in this screwy spy epic from director Doris Wishman (Nude on the Moon).

The shocking, excessively boosomed Miss Morgan plays Jane, a.k.a. DOUBLE AGENT 73, whose assignment is to bust up a heroin ring and discover who the ringleader is. To accomplish this, she must take photos of everyone via a miniature camera surgically implanted in her left breast. Really. Whenever it's squeezed, a camera shutter slicks and a flash goes off. Honest. But - get this - the camera is also a time bomb (!?), thus making her boob...well...booby-trapped!

Besides Chesty committing one fashion crime after another, there's also a bloody shower stabbing, a ridiculously sped-up car chase, and far too much cinematic insanity to be listed here. Doris Wishman's films are often startling, but this one is a full-scale assault on your senses!"

It's a double feature, two of the worst big breast/murdering people with tits/spy/revenge/exploitation films ever, together for only TEN BUCKS!

So why won't my wife, my amazing and beautiful and smart and funny and very UNDERSTANDING wife, let my buy this damn dvd online?

And how can YOU help me?

By BUGGING the SHIT outta her!

So here's the deal ... my wife's e-mail address is ...


E-mail her telling her why she should let me buy the movie. Send her an e-mail. E-mail her more than once. E-mail her a lot. Send her a freaking e-card. Really just let her have it. Then get your friends to e-mail her, too. Tell ALL your friends to e-mail her! And maybe TOGETHER we can get me that dvd!

I mean, seriously, it's two of the worst films ever made about a foreign chick who uses big tits to kill people. Come on! I'm Reverend Steve, man! I started a whole freaking CHURCH based on bad movies, man! I so totally HAVE to have these stupid movies!

And it's only ten bucks for the both of them. Seriously! I want this movie! I have to have it! And maybe, if she doesn't kill me when she sees this post, maybe YOU can help me get it!

It's the "Get My Wife To Let Me Buy This DVD" Campaign. Help yourself by helping STEVE buy a movie about murderous big tits!

Also, and I hope you are still reading this, I have been doing storytimes for kids every week for well over 11 years. And in celebration of this I've compiled a big photo album of over 50 pictures and hilarious stories from over a decade of entertaining children.


And, if you could, plllllleeeeease share the photo album on Facebook. I really want to get my name out there. So a quick share would really help me out. Plus, it's pretty cute and fairly hilarious.

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