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Sunday, November 1, 2009

Steve's Church-Less Movie Of The Week, Part I ...

Today's VERY SPECIAL edition of the Church-less MOTW is coming to you in TWO parts - the first will be our standard information system with film. The second part will be an in-depth review of the film written by none other than MY WIFE Natasha! What an amazing special guest we managed to get, huh? Amazing.

Enjoy ...

Yoinked from and the wikipedia ...

"The Thing with Two Heads, also known as The Beast With Two Heads, La Chose à deux têtes (France), Das Ding mit den 2 Köpfen (Germany), Kaksipäinen hirviö (Finland) and O Monstro de Duas Cabeças (Brazil) is a 1972 film, starring former NFL defensive lineman Rosey Grier, actor Ray Milland (star of former Churchless MOTW 'Frogs!') and Don Marshall. It was directed by Lee Frost and written by Wes Bishop. Frost and Bishop also had parts in the movie.

In the movie, Milland plays Dr. Maxwell Kirshner, a dying, wealthy racist who demands that his head be transplanted onto a healthy body. As his health rapidly deteriorates, there remains only one alternative: graft Kirshner's head onto the body of a black death row inmate, Jack Moss, played by Grier, a convict who may or may not be falsely accused of a crime.

The taglines for the posters read 'They share the same body... but hate each other's guts!' and 'They transplanted a white bigot's head on a soul brother's body! The doctor blew it--the most fantastic medical experiment of the age. And now with the fights, the Fuzz, the chicks and the choppers...Man, they're really in deeeeep trouble!'

This campy, poorly executed, legendary b-movie recently went out of print and is widely regarded as one of the greatest WORST movies of all time. In the film, Dr. Maxwell Kirshner (Milland) is the founder of The Kirshner Transplant Foundation. He is also master scientist. His latest subject is a large gorilla (played by FX wizard Rick Baker) which has been given an extra head to see how it will work. This is all being done to help him find a way to live longer since he is gravely ill, which confines him to a wheelchair. While Kirshner and his assistants are watching the gorilla's progress in his secret lab, it goes wild and breaks out of its cage. It then attacks Dr Kirshner, destroys the lab and escapes. The assistants chase after the two headed beast as it runs down the street then enters a small market where the customers scream in horror. When the two men discover the gorilla, its comically sitting peacefully, munching on bananas.

What follows after that is the adventures of a racist head and his new black body. Ray Milland is superb as the cranky racist Dr. Kirshner while Rosie Grier plays Jack Moss with lots of charm and little acting talent. For most of the running time, Rosie and Ray are shown stuck together, either lying down, riding in a car (the backseat making it easier to create the illusion of the two heads) and walking around. There is some quick long shots with Rosie and a fake head as he's running, and at times it seems they seemed to have actually forgotten the two head premise altogether and just shot one head in a close up and another head somewhere else in another close up. Ray Milland's fake head looks pretty good but obviously fake. The most entertaining sequence in the movie involves the two along with Dr. Williams riding a motorcycle in a race which drones on into one of the most absurdly long police chase sequence EVER!

DID YOU KNOW/DO YOU CARE: The closing theme music 'Oh Happy Day' was written by Mike Curb, founder of the band The Mike Curb Congreration. Mike Curb is an American musician, record company executive, race car owner (in both NASCAR and IRL), and Republican Party (GOP) politician who served as Lieutenant Governor of California from 1979-1983 during the second administration of Jerry Brown.

The Evaporators: Oh Happy Day

The Edwain Hawkins Singers: Oh Happy Day

The Statler Brothers: Oh Happy Day

DID YOU KNOW/DO YOU CARE: Rosie Grier is known not only for being a football player and semi-actor but for his serious pursuit of hobbies not traditionally associated with men such as macrame and needlepoint. He has authored several books, including Rosey Grier's Needlepoint for Men in 1973. Grier also became an ordained Christian minister in 1983 and travels as an inspirational speaker.

DID YOU KNOW/DO YOU CARE: Actor Ray Milland was born Reginald Alfred John Truscott-Jones in Neath, Wales. When the Second World War began, Milland tried to enlist in the U.S. Army Air Forces, but was rejected because of an impaired left hand. He worked as a civilian flight instructor for the Army, and toured with a USO troupe in 1944. He won an Academy Award for Best Actor for his portrayal of an alcoholic in Billy Wilder's film The Lost Weekend and gave the shortest acceptance speech of any Oscar winner: he simply bowed and left the stage."

Steve's Snacks Of The Week:



McDonalds Dollar Menu Crap

Halloween Candy

Chocolate Bars

Chocolate Bars Dipped In Peanut Butter


Yucky Taste Of Breathing Treatment

Internet Porn

... AND NOW, Steve and this blog are both PROUD to once again present today's Church-less Movie of the Week in its entirety absolutely FREE! But first lets go over a few ground rules. Absolutely no talking is allowed in this or any Galindo Theaters locations. Any and all talkers will be kicked in pink. No cell phones or African-American berries going off in the theater. And NO TEXTING.

And be sure to dim your headlights (where applicable).

Enjoy the show, y'all!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
... and now, the conclusion of The Thing With Two Heads, brought to you by Tide!

Stay tuned for my wife Natasha Galindo's amazing review!

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